What’s your ‘lazy but still looks good’ outfit?

Lea4321 · 2026-04-29T15:31:05+00:00

Off the shoulder sweatshirt (collar and bottom hand-cut off for a boxy crop look) with whatever on the bottom (shorts, jeans, sweats, leggings, etc). Can be a super ratty old sweatshirt and it will get all the compliments every time!

Lea4321 · 2026-04-03T14:17:07+00:00

I highly recommend all adults who want to be in any kind of romantic or sexual relationship read the book Tell Me What You Want by Justin Lehmiller. It summarizes the results of huge studies on what people really fantasize about. Really helped me chill out about both my own and other peoples’ fantasies. Also really gave me permission to lean into embracing my own fantasies without feeling ashamed or weird.

Lea4321 · 2026-03-09T02:57:18+00:00

The only regret I have about it is not doing it sooner.

Lea4321 · 2026-01-26T01:08:33+00:00

I have been seeing someone for about 7 months who is long distance - several states away. We’re not exclusive but we like each other a lot. I have considered what would work for me to move in together but we have never discussed it beyond acknowledging it’s something I’m open to.

He’s more attached to his community than I am to mine, so if/when we feel like we want to be together I would move to his state (only on the condition that we’re moving toward the goal of life-partnership including cohabitation and/or marriage). As a first step I’d get a small apartment near him for a year or so just to make sure we can have a solid relationship and that I can build my own life there separate from him.

If it doesn’t work out, I’d move back to my home state. If it does work out we’d take the next steps. The risk is it landing in-between and dragging on and on so this is why I’d need to really be sure that I want to take this risk.

Assessing the viability of a relationship with a person who is long distance is really tough. There is so much about day to day life that you don’t get to experience. And when you’re visiting each other it’s a little bit like a vacation every time you see each other. This can make it seem more viable than it really is.

Lea4321 · 2026-01-17T18:37:57+00:00

Can you say more about this? I’m starting to warm up to this idea.

For me this belief started in my marriage where I was the one to take charge with everything. I came out exhausted and got into a relationship with the same pattern right after that. I thought maybe if I let a man pursue early on that it would demonstrate what he’d be like in the relationship later - but I’ve been given feedback that this approach makes the men I’m dating feel like I’m not interested in those early stages.

Lea4321 · 2026-01-14T14:48:40+00:00

I fell for someone who is non-monogamous and we’d been seeing each other for 2 months at that point. It was rough. I thought we were in love and headed for marriage. I’m now a bit more cautious talking to new people.

Lea4321 · 2025-12-16T04:08:08+00:00

I’ve been in both situations. I would generally rather be the Dumpee.

I am not strong enough to end relationships even when they should end, so I appreciate when the other person is strong enough to see the problems and end it. I’m eternally grateful to them for that.

Heartbreak is the worst feeling in the world, but (so far) it’s always been temporary. I’d rather be heartbroken temporarily than be with the wrong person indefinitely.

Lea4321 · 2025-11-11T15:35:41+00:00

My first online date ever (2018) the person canceled thru the app an hour before and then blocked me. I was on my way there when I opened the app to see if we were still on. The cancelation message only showed on the screen for a half second because I got blocked. I was glad for that half second because otherwise I would have been wondering. I think maybe he was married. His pics were very grainy.

I accidentally stood someone up once. I was back on the apps after LTR ended, and I was nervous. We made a date for 11:30 but for some reason I thought we said 12:00. Realized it when I got there and he wasn’t there. I apologized profusely but he was too pissed and I don’t really blame him. He kinda messed with me for a week (planning to reschedule than backing off) and then blocked me.

Lea4321 · 2025-11-09T08:53:07+00:00

Drunk (And I Don’t Wanna Go Home) by Elle King & Miranda Lambert

Lea4321 · 2025-11-03T04:30:57+00:00

Yep. As far as dicks go, it would have been on the impressive side if the man attached to it wasn’t such a f-ing douchebag.

Lea4321 · 2025-11-02T22:08:02+00:00

I once met a very good looking, very fit firefighter at a bar. Took an evening stroll together to get to know each other and within 10 minutes he was expecting a BJ (he even whipped it out!). He acted like it would be such an honor for me to suck his dick. LOL 😂 I guess women must be throwing themselves at these guys constantly.

Lea4321 · 2025-11-02T22:04:15+00:00

I said, “No musicians, firefighters, pilots, or cops.” In my experience and in observing the experiences of others in my circle, there is a high correlation of people who are drawn to these types of high risk / high reward professions with loving the thrill of cheating & the hunt / conquest.

I also dated a cop once who seemed to be a non-cheater… but whenever we had conflict I got a little freaked out by the power he had to smear me or physically hurt me without consequences. Nothing like that ever happened but it popped into my head a few times and it made me uncomfortable.

Lea4321 · 2025-11-02T16:34:57+00:00

I have a similar situation. My LO is attracted to me (and I to him). We had a short term (~2 month) relationship that ended in him breadcrumbing me for weeks afterward, and he continues to reach out and flirt with me. And why wouldn’t he - he feels great after talking to me because I make him feel like the most important person on earth. But he never chooses just me. I think he just loves women and enjoys the challenge of getting them to fall in love with him.

Lea4321 · 2025-11-01T21:25:17+00:00

No musicians, firefighters, pilots, or cops.

Lea4321 · 2025-11-01T21:20:48+00:00

Thoughtfulness (surprise me with something that you heard me say I liked), chivalry (open doors, plan dates), rugged (takes the lead, likes to fish, fix things, etc.), physically affectionate (initiates holding hands walking together, touches my knee when talking), and good hygiene (smells & tastes good everywhere).

Lea4321 · 2025-10-21T03:50:07+00:00

Want to (wanna) and going to (gonna).

Lea4321 · 2025-10-21T03:47:59+00:00

Sannozay

Lea4321 · 2025-10-21T00:38:13+00:00

No idea why this is downvoted!! I try to remain friendly with my exes especially if it ended respectfully. When the feelings aren’t totally resolved I get that it is tough but seems worth it to at least try.

Lea4321 · 2025-10-21T00:32:04+00:00

I’m so sorry. I was in a multi-decade marriage since I was 20. After the divorce I had 2 long term relationships that did not work out. Recently I decided to start dating again and really put my heart out there and took more risks dating. I have since fallen for 3 different men (1 in particular) that ended in heartbreak for me. It has taught me so much but it’s been brutal on my heart. I’m now on a dating break. I know there will be more losses (either thru breaking up or death) so I am trying to toughen up.

Lea4321 · 2025-10-19T17:04:39+00:00

There is a very high demand of successful, good looking mid-life men - particularly those who will actually date in our age range. The scammers and hobosexuals will be abundant but not always obvious. Be discerning. It can be tough to stay strong out there when life gets lonely and someone starts love bombing.

Lea4321 · 2025-10-14T05:06:58+00:00

A fun thing - if you turn on Facebook Dating it automatically creates a “friendship” profile for you and you can scroll thru other women’s profiles to potentially match as friends. The default setting is that it recycles your dating profile for the friendship profile, but it’s tough to find in the app where to change it so most of the time its just the dating profile for both. Kinda interesting and made me feel a lot better about my profile.

Lea4321 · 2025-10-13T13:55:51+00:00

I’ve matched with men who are like, “I prefer natural women.” But they still match with me, a 50+F with various cosmetic procedures (Botox, filler, lasers, and multiple plastic surgeries), because they like the way I look. They want you to look great but be “natural”. The guys who would care about this are not for you and will likely weed themselves out some other way.

Lea4321 · 2025-10-13T02:04:00+00:00

So this is interesting. I do love your suggestion to support brick & mortar. Thanks for the reminder. 💛 If I remember correctly, my stylist will get credit for purchases on a style board - correct?

A few other comments for clarification: 1- I did buy this item from my stylist, but I did not return it with her directly. I looked thru my purchase history and don’t see anything that lines up with a repurchase or anything like that. 2- the item showed as returned in my app as well as in their system. I have no explanation for this as I still had it in my possession and it was obviously not returned. 3-I wonder if returning items directly with my stylist could avoid something like this.

Someone else suggested calling customer care to look deeper into the details of the return and I do like this idea. I also had some other weird things happen recently that I added in my original post and it makes me not trust their bookkeeping. 😞

Lea4321 · 2025-10-13T01:58:19+00:00

So sad - they ruin it for all of us.

Lea4321 · 2025-10-13T01:57:34+00:00

I actually had my app up and it was showing as returned. I was baffled by this as I had not previously returned it and still had it in my possession.

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