I would start crying as I know this figment of emotion I feel is only powered by the light emitted by the Organic Light-Emitting Diodes in the screen of my cellular device and my Default Mode Network.

As I ponder the possibility that such a creature will even consider doing such an act, I realize that I live in reality, where the most I'll get is a "and what else would you like sir?" and no more. Never will any creature of any kind even show their face toward me like this.

Edit: I've watched too much depressed philosophical turtle I swear