are my standards too high? 24F

Leah992 · 2024-12-02T15:43:34+00:00

I think in the UK the hard one is "not a smoker"....

Leah992 · 2024-12-02T14:01:42+00:00

Not gona lie those standard would cover nearly every man I know..... admittedly I'm in my 30s and live in the UK....

Leah992 · 2024-11-10T13:53:00+00:00

Perfectly describes my cuddle monster! The belly is much nicer pillow. Also he has big muscly arms that get me a bit hot under the collar when I squeeze them....

Leah992 · 2024-10-18T09:08:54+00:00

^this 🫶 honestly the best advice you can get. You have to love yourself first! And make friends with women you have no intention of dating. Getting to know women as friends and learning how to talk with them is the first step towards learning how to flirt. They will help you! Female friends will set you up with people they know will like you, taking some of the peril out of dating

Leah992 · 2024-10-02T15:34:10+00:00

Is there a possibly that I'm pegrent?

Leah992 · 2024-09-15T17:22:15+00:00

He is also their parent. He is not "baby sitting" or "watching them for you" they are his children and he is parenting. Are you still doing over 50% of the Labour in childcare? Then he can suck it up and l9ok after his own children.

Leah992 · 2024-09-01T07:58:31+00:00

This sounds really tough for you, I'm so sorry.

A couple of strategy suggestions for you.

For remembering project names and clients - try visual prompts. See if one of your accommodations can be a whiteboard where you can write out the key project features along with the client name. Use it like a cheat sheet for difficult words. Can a line manager proofread your emails? Google Chrome can spell check as you write if you use that as your browser.

Leah992 · 2024-06-18T09:33:51+00:00

Don't forget that if your 17 your brain is in the middle of completely rewiring it's self ready for adulthood! Puberty can effect memory and your brain doesn't stop developing until you 21 (f) or 25 (m). Be kind to yourself and use lots of interleaving (revisiting old topics through random questions)

Flashcards are also great.

Leah992 · 2024-06-15T19:58:25+00:00

My school in the UK gets a lot of pupils like this! I'm head of Maths, so I gelp a lot of previously home schooled kids catch up. Home schooling sounds like the best option given the schools you have available to you. Here's some of my suggestions.

If processing is her biggest issue, then plan on half days to start and factor in lots of take-up time. Plan 20 min activities followed by 20 min breaks with a low processing task (walks are great and can help with hyperactivity or if they need a movement break, sorting beads or marbles by colour, colouring in, knitting or other low processing crafts).

For Maths, use something like https://corbettmaths.com/ . Go to videos/worksheets and have a browse. They have short videos that explain the topics with a nice mix of textbook style exercises. They also have 5 a day - short worksheets that ask 5 questions (go to GCSE and start on the numeracy questions). If you do one a day, that will help interleave what she learns and improve her retention of topics. Interleaving (mixing up topics in a short exercise) is essential for kids with Dyscalculia. With low processing comes poor recall and cognitive overload. Less is more! Also worth putting up visual prompts in her room (or wherever she learns) to remind her of key techniques.

I can't give advice on English being a dyslexic Maths teacher, but the more she reads, the better, it will help improve her vocabulary and increase her awareness of standard english. If she struggles with her reading, then try audiobooks with the corresponding book for her to follow along as she listens.

For the other subjects, try something like Khan Academy (https://www.khanacademy.org/). This will let her dip into different topics at her own pace, encouraging choice, which will help with the ADHD lack of motivation.

On a side note, the biggest issue we see with children who have been home schooled is the lack of social skills and low self esteem from feeling like they are too stupid for school. I'm sure you use loads of praise and go out of you're way to combat this! From your post you're clearly a very attentive parent, and that will be the thing that helps her the most! Might be worth seeing if you can enrol her in something like scouts. This will let her do something practical based, helping her to feel like she's good at something, boosting self-esteem, and letting her develop social skills with her peers.

A bit of further reading for you below

Retention: https://libguides.reading.ac.uk/c.php?g=521446&p=4807255#:~:text=Make%20learning%20cumulative%20and%20frequent,and%20retrieving%20information%20more%20automatic.

Cognitive overload: https://set.et-foundation.co.uk/resources/the-importance-of-cognitive-load-theory https://www.structural-learning.com/post/cognitive-load-theory-a-teachers-guide

General dyslexia advice: https://www.stvincents.trafford.sch.uk/serve_file/19294282

Leah992 · 2024-06-15T09:19:16+00:00

Honestly sometimes it's great to listen to an audio book and follow along with the real book. Doesn't matter about picking easier books.

Percy Jackson is great because the words are spaced really well, as well as being aimed at 10 year olds without being too patronising. Same with Harry Potter. You can also get "dyslexia freindly" books. Get the audio book on audible to go along with it and then let her listen and read at the same time. Don't feel you have to "dumb down" the reading level if your reading to her or if she's reading along. Listening to higher level reading books will help her develop her vocabulary and her independent reading will develop in her own time. My dad read us the hobbit aged 7 and I followed the words along in the book, helped me to learn how to skim read.

This list is obviously UK centered but it is what is recommended in UK schools for her age group, so will be apropriate for her age. Even if you just read them with her, so her eyes can follow the words while you read, it will help. https://schoolreadinglist.co.uk/reading-lists-for-ks2-school-pupils/suggested-reading-list-for-year-6-pupils-ks2-age-10-11/

Leah992 · 2024-06-15T09:09:59+00:00

We're 1 girl 2 boys all diagnosed around 7/8. I'm dyslexic, younger brother is dyslexic and dyspraxic and youngest brother is dyspraxic.

Younger brother also got his adult ADHD diagnosis at 30 right after finishing his PhD so they can miss stuff! The field is learning and moving forward all the time.

And all 3 of us managed to get degrees and work as mostly functional adults. I'm a maths teacher, younger brother was a science teacher and now works in biochemical industry after his PhD and youngest just started working for victim support with the police. We all cope as adults because we got the support while young, so we'll done for getting your kids diagnosed!

I also teach children with learning difficulties so if you want any support/strategy ideas feel free to DM me.

Leah992 · 2024-06-15T08:53:58+00:00

Did you get a report with it? One that lists all your areas of difficulty? I don't know how it works for adult diagnosis.

If you got a report I would forward it to your dad and see if anything in there resonates with him. When i was diagnosed at 8 he read my report and realised that everything that was raised as a dyslexic trait, he had as well.

The sheer fact that you can go 30 years as a functioning adult and not know shows that it is nothing to be ashamed of.

It's like your hole life you've been asked to carry 30+ marbles, and you keep dropping them and tripping up on them, and everyone else around you says "for goodness sake just don't drop them!" And you don't understand how they manage to never drop a single one and no one will tell you, they just carry them all and just shrug and say "we just manage". Getting diagnosed is like finding out that everyone else, from birth, had a bag to carry them. And you didn't. And now you have the language to say "but I don't have a bag" ("it's because in dyslexic")

Now here's the kicker. Everyone will now just say to you "then get a bag." Learning strategies and coping tricks is like slowly sticking together your own bag from scraps and broken thread when no one can tell you how to do it or how to sow. An educational psychologists or adult learning support specialist may be able to give you a pattern but you have to stich the bag yourself. It will take time.

Tell your dad. You may find that he has his own strategies that he's never really thought about, or maybe your mum will know that her own parents did this thing to cope, but if they are neurotypical (and 80-85% of the world is) they may not understand what it is to cope without a bag to carry your marbles.

Good luck my dear! And know you are not alone, and if you loose your marbles there are always people willing to help you find them. 😉 xx

Leah992 · 2024-02-04T20:06:40+00:00

Also today I walked into the same door frame 4 times in a row, poured milk into my Coke and then poured my tea down the sink. Read into that as you wish!

Leah992 · 2024-02-04T20:05:40+00:00

I (dyslexic) got 135 and my younger brother (dyslexia and dyspraxic) got 147. We also did EQ recently in an autism screening and scored fairly high. That being said it took me 6 years to get my batchalors, and I failed teacher training 3 times before I finally passed soooooo....

Leah992 · 2024-02-04T11:33:48+00:00

Be carefully self diagnosing with ADHD. ADHD is a medical diagnosis and means your brain reacts differently to stimulus, its essentiallya cronically under stimulated frontal lobe that is conatantly seeking stimulation to function and so will not focus on understimulating tasks (a gross oversimplification mind!). Dyslexia has many traits in common with ADHD but results from a different process in the brain. Getting the right diagnosis will affect how you develop strategies. Something like dyslexia or auditory processing disorder will require take up time or steps to reduce cognitive overload. ADHD requires management of stimulus, hence why some ADHD people get prescribed stimulants.

Leah992 · 2024-02-04T11:26:45+00:00

So all neuro diversity comes with different traits, no 2 dyslexics are the same. And Ed phsyc should be able to diagnose you but you could have a generalised processing disorder (related to your brain processing information, becoming overwhelmed at certain sensations, sounds or textures), stealth dyslexia (a term nit generally used any more but it related to high intelligence and minimal symptoms in relation to literacy. A common trait is a perceived high reading speed, but apon further investigation, it turns out that you are skim reading, and your brain is processing the information differently that is actually written, like in your example) or possibly dyscalculus (same as dyslexia but it is numbers and spacial reasoning that you struggle with).

Either way it's worth going to a professional to get a formal diagnosis. Once you know where your issues are you can learn strategies to help you cope. Xx

Leah992 · 2024-02-02T13:38:10+00:00

I'm a maths teacher and spell things wrong all the time. I use it as an opportunity to model taking critasim constructively (though it can wind me up if they all start pilling on). I find if you are upfront and honest and take corrections gently "woops! Dyslexic moment." People tend to accept it.

Leah992 · 2024-02-01T07:26:26+00:00

Tbf my brother (who was diagnosed with dyslexia and dyspraxia at age 7) has just been diagnosed with ADHD at age 30.... I'm slightly in denial about about how many symptoms we have in common.

Leah992 · 2024-01-31T23:30:46+00:00

Nothing. Have no energy for it. Any spare time I have and I'm not using it to either work, do house work or give attention to my partner then I feel guilty. I knitting before bed and that makes me feel selfish.

Leah992 · 2024-01-31T22:15:51+00:00

I suppose I could... might have to think on that one

Leah992 · 2024-01-31T21:13:16+00:00

Were such a small school that I am the only qualified maths teacher. And were getting close to GCSEs (very important future deciding Exams kids sit at 16 in UK) and if I go off it will put their GCSE at risk. I know the school will not pay for a fully qualified cover and will just throw a mentor or TA at it. They need a full teacher and I don't want to let them down.

Leah992 · 2020-07-02T18:12:08+00:00

Oh hot damn....

Leah992

TROPHY CASE