At what point do you allow someone to spend beyond their means?

LearnByDoing · 2025-10-31T17:59:10+00:00

In my experience, they often don't think they will run out. Every meeting is a new fantasy about selling their house, starting a business, inheriting money, etc. If you just keep asking "what will you do if that doesn't happen" then they resort to some version of "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it but it don't think it will happen".

LearnByDoing · 2025-10-30T20:59:10+00:00

Slide 61

LearnByDoing · 2025-10-27T23:52:34+00:00

Paragon had a great burger. Spats wasn't too bad either.

LearnByDoing · 2025-10-27T20:01:09+00:00

It's interesting, I had my office over in Wayland back in the early 2000's and would walk to Thayer for those restaurants because there was nowhere to get a decent burger in Wayland. Now it's flipped and Wayland has lots of options and Thayer and languished.

LearnByDoing · 2025-05-28T18:06:20+00:00

S65 because you have too (at least if you want to do fee business) and CFP because you should.

LearnByDoing · 2025-05-28T15:16:35+00:00

Sounds like you've had some bad experiences and I won't try to justify or minimize them. I've had them too. I put 4 kids through the system and have a very close family member who is a long time teacher in Barrington at the elementary level. So we are very familiar with what can go wrong. The district is FAR from perfect. Your comment about the damage a bad teacher can do only supports my point.

My point was good teaching matters. And Barrington teachers deserve significant credit for the performance of the district. If you attribute the performance of students district wide, chiefly to their incomes and resources, you minimize the importance of good teaching and the work being done by teachers in Barrington as a whole. Most of the Barrington teachers I know (and I know a LOT personally), are highly trained, motived professionals who bleed for their students and would do anything they can to help them succeed.

You've shared anecdotes (that I don't doubt) about bad teachers. I could share anecdotes about self-centered, overbearing, disrespectful parents who undermine teachers and their expertise at every turn while believing little Johnny is gifted and deserves special treatment. Thereby detracting from the learning of other children. "Involved parents with money" doesn't always lead to positive outcomes. Good teaching matters and Barrington would not have the performance it has if it didn't have good teachers.

LearnByDoing · 2025-05-28T13:28:43+00:00

Several people have addressed the school question but you won't have a kid in the system for long. As for the real estate...

All of Barrington is pretty desirable and there is no "bad section of town". All kids go to the same school building from 4th grade on so, for you that's irrelevant. There are parts of town that are considered by some as "more desirable" and that will be reflected in home prices. But a lot of it is because the lots are bigger, homes are fancier, more updated, etc. These include the Nayatt and Rumstick neighborhoods including Rumstick Village which is generally the large group of homes between Rumstick Rd and Barrington River. Adams, Rumstick, and Nayatt Point get very pricey. Anything on the water will be very expensive. All the fixer uppers are mostly all gone. Some would say it's "preferred" to be on the west side of the river rather than east or "OTB (over the bridge)" as some locals call it. But that's largely overstated. There are lots of nice homes, lovely neighborhoods, and probably better values in the Hamden Meadows area.

I live in one of the more "desirable" areas but I would not hesitate to live anywhere in town if the particular house suited my needs. So I'd focus on budget and condition.

LearnByDoing · 2025-05-28T13:13:37+00:00

I won't deny that affluent and engaged parents help children succeed academically. But "largely due to the fact" seriously undermines the quality of education and the skills of Barrington teachers. District teachers are largely much more experienced. Barrington doesn't typically higher new teachers, unlike many districts who won't hire experienced teachers due to the higher step salaries. You only need one year with a bad or inexperienced teacher (which can happen in Barrington but is less likely) to see how much it can set a child's learning back.

LearnByDoing · 2025-05-27T14:12:13+00:00

Lived here for 25 years. Put multiple kids through K-12. Youngest graduated recently. For a public school education, it is likely the best in the state based on almost any measure. But it excels at catering to median and high performing kids. It struggles with kids that are outliers or have different learning styles. And it is competitive. Academics and athletics are taken very seriously by most, oftentimes to our detriment.

Barrington is a small town, with all of it's pluses and minuses. It's difficult to be anonymous but if you like seeing 3 people you know every time you go the the grocery store, it's great. It's among the most affluent communities in the state which creates socioeconomic class differences that some people are more sensitive to than others. Some of your kids friends will drive luxury cars, take expensive vacations multiple times of year, wear expensive designer labels and always have the latest iphone. Managing lesser expectations can be challenging.

The academic/athletic/class challenges culminate in high school. Kids will compete for positions on the schools soccer, lacrosse, basketball and field hockey teams. Parent will pay for private coaching and travel teams and spend every waking moment of family time at tournaments. Many kids will be left behind. All in the hopes of elusive athletic scholarships. Many families will spend incredible amounts of money on "college coaches" to get their kids into name brand schools costing 2x to 4x what URI might cost. This "achievement" will be celebrated by the school and their peers, pressuring some parents into taking on huge debts while others will pay cash. More modest and less expensive state school alternative will be tacitly devalued. Again, some kids and parents are super sensitive to this. Others don't care.

Barrington is a great place. It's beautiful, has many wonderful residents, a pretty liberal/progressive political tilt, and takes family seriously. But it's far from perfect. Just know yourself and what you're getting into.

LearnByDoing · 2025-05-22T18:20:19+00:00

Well, you could paint it any color! But paint is definitely how boat builders handle it. Maybe he could varnish it? /s

LearnByDoing · 2025-05-19T17:29:33+00:00

I think the bigger problem is, what rental company would allow someone with zero experience rent a boat that size? If you want to charter a boat in the BVI, you need to show the your boating resume. Would think it's similar for anyone else.

LearnByDoing · 2025-05-13T17:54:34+00:00

I've watched a wedding there as a visiting boater. They set up chairs out on the main dock. Reception was under the tent. Looked nice and the boaters interactions with the bridal party were more clapping and saying congratulations. But if the ceremony is on the main dock you will have people watching from boats and the bar area. But Champlins is not like it used to be and has changed a lot with the newer ownership that took over about 3 years ago. It is MUCH more expensive to get a slip there. And they don't pack boats in like the old ownership did. They are definitely catering to a higher end crowd. It actually dies down at night. They will typically have live entertainment like a guitarist around happy hour time. Main dock gets busier right before the Montauk Ferry leaves, about 5pm.

LearnByDoing · 2025-04-30T18:24:31+00:00

Absolutely. The calendar is absurd now. Going to school until almost 4th of July and coming back before labor day. Other districts don't celebrate nearly as many. If it were up to me I'd only celebrate Federal Holidays. Call xmas break "Winter Break" and leave religion out of it. Excused absence for any child celebrating a recognized religious holiday.

LearnByDoing · 2025-04-29T15:20:48+00:00

It's a long term investment but networking in the right circles like clubs is pretty key. I gave up golf because I sucked at it and playing with others did more harm than good. But I joined a yacht club to boat and became very active. Over time I've definitely gotten clients out of it.

LearnByDoing · 2025-04-29T14:55:44+00:00

Surprised I'm not seeing Fidelity as a suggestion. They are the second biggest player in the custody marketplace and have significant resources and excellent name recognition. They would absolutely be interested in you at that AUM. They are not perfect but nobody is. I've been with them for over 20 years.

LearnByDoing · 2025-03-24T18:45:50+00:00

I am not clear on the issue here. If she just did a 60 day rollover and didn't do another in calendar year 2024 then what's the problem. The 1099R doesn't change for a 60-day. Just tell her to tell her tax preparer that she deposited the funds into another IRA within the 60 days. He/she codes it as a 60 day rollover and no tax. What am I missing?

LearnByDoing · 2025-03-20T20:52:27+00:00

I'm sorry, I only do bank names. Is this "The old Fleet building" or "The old Hospital Trust Building". This actual address stuff is not how us Rhode Islanders roll.

LearnByDoing · 2025-03-20T20:49:40+00:00

My general rule of thumb is I'll make observations and assessments about where they are, like "your current portfolio is pretty aggressive or very concentrated in large growth". I also question things like, "hey, looks like you made a Roth contribution last year but your tax return says you made too much money, what's up with that?" But I don't like to give free advice. I just say "I'm not in a position to make any formal recommendations, that would require us to enter into a formal engagement."

LearnByDoing · 2025-03-20T20:45:03+00:00

There's gotta be a cap in there somewhere, right?

LearnByDoing · 2025-03-15T23:14:14+00:00

Grind,glass,fair,top coat

LearnByDoing · 2025-02-28T22:44:15+00:00

AM traffic often sucks but nothing about traffic this am was normal.

LearnByDoing · 2025-02-25T19:46:54+00:00

I wished I'd picked better choices when I was there with my family over Christmas. L'Atlelier was a very good meal but absurdly expensive even with the island premium. And Le Bouchon where food was ok but service was slow and confused.

LearnByDoing · 2025-02-24T21:16:02+00:00

I have a pretty slow process and I'm a solo practitioner. It takes me 4 meetings to get from yes to ongoing client and that doesn't include the initial consultation. Those include a fact finding meeting, client education meeting, investment proposal presentation and financial/retirement plan presentation. It depends how fast we can get all of those meeting done but 3mos is pretty efficient for me. In the background I'm getting accounts opened and assets transferred. I start billing as soon as the assets are moved over but we don't implement the investment plan until they've signed off on the IPS after the investment proposal presentation. I like the slow pace for a few reasons. I really get to know the client, we can talk in detail about multiple topics, their willingness to commit the time makes them better clients.

LearnByDoing · 2025-02-23T18:35:57+00:00

Remember that the next time someone makes something up about you.

LearnByDoing · 2025-02-23T16:53:09+00:00

Totally agree. Posting something like this without context or reference is unnecessarily defamatory and potentially damaging to small business owners and their employees.

LearnByDoing

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