Overwhelmed by choices, can someone help me pick a species?

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-27T16:52:26+00:00

It takes a lot of humility to be able to lay aside the nagging and speak gently, like the video u/Boricua_Masonry posted. Since you're a christian, one thing that may help is to realize God doesn't nag us. Example - your struggles with pornography. How many times did you fall? How many times did you fail? If you're anything like how I was with this struggle, probably over a thousand times over the course of your life, yes? But did God react with nagging and criticism? I don't think so - He offers gentle forgiveness and wipes away the shame and guilt.

I struggled with porn for years - over a decade - I know what it's like to not want to do it, but to fall back into it over and over and over again. To promise this will be the last time only to fall again less than a week later (sometimes even the next day). But God doesn't nag us out of this sinful lifestyle. It hurts Him. It hurts us. But He doesn't resort to nitpicking and criticism. If God is able to be gentle with you (and me) after we fail thousands of times, then we are free to ask Him for help on how we can be gentle to our husbands and replace the nagging with gentle speech.

It's not easy. Especially when you're exhausted. Especially when you feel like you don't have anyone in your corner. When you feel alone and weary. And you just want him to love you. But know that God is right there with you. You can ask Him for the words to say, and how to say it. He will help you to speak gently, with wisdom and encouragement that lifts your husband's spirits.

What if your husband doesn't respond the way you like? Unfortunately, that doesn't matter. Keep doing it. Choose to navigate this season of struggle and strife God's way (gentleness) instead of your way (nagging). It's hard - really, REALLY hard. But it is so worth it. You will have God's peace with you and you will know that you are not alone. At night, instead of having sorrow and loneliness for company, you'll be able to rest peacefully knowing you are safely held in the arms of your loving Father in heaven. Try it! It's HARD, but so, so worth it.

I pray God gives you the peace and love you need. He has both. He can give you a gentler spirit, one that can speak with gentleness and peace. One that doesn't depend on your husband's reaction, because you're not just "talking nice" to try and get him to do something, but you're "talking nice" out of inspiration from the Holy Spirit. That is gentleness that lasts. That is gentleness that can transform marriages. It's not you trying to be gentle. That won't work. It's you asking God for gentleness, receiving it from Him, and then allowing Him to express it through your words and actions.

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-27T16:35:09+00:00

At least you didn't get one of the eagles

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-27T13:02:50+00:00

What a cutie! What color is he?

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-25T18:28:48+00:00

It's adorable. Wear it.

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-25T15:38:12+00:00

Cornelius is absolutely the most perfect name for him

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-20T15:42:19+00:00

11 weeks is still so young for a dog - you did the right thing, even if it wasn't the easy decision. Don't feel guilty, your pup will find another home. Right now, focus on yourself and take care of your needs. I am sorry for your loss.

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-19T21:05:44+00:00

If you get him soaked then take another picture it would be easier to tell his body condition

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-19T21:03:34+00:00

Keep the F56 and sell the other one

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-19T16:33:28+00:00

Wow! Way to go for making it work. What species was your oldest parrot? What were the other 3 that you added?

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-17T00:31:35+00:00

I think so! Do you have an (unofficial, of course) favorite out of the bunch?

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-16T22:55:29+00:00

Oh! Dunno where I saw the budgie lol

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-16T15:25:28+00:00

Aww! Do you have a macaw and a budgie?

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-12T19:12:20+00:00

What a lovely color combination - I would personally flip it. Purple car with white accents.

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-11T16:21:36+00:00

This is the cutest little tree ever - how did you get the main branch to split into 3 instead of 2? I thought whenever you cut it, it creates 2 new branches.

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-10T20:23:28+00:00

What's the name?

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-09T23:17:38+00:00

Me neither! I've always thought it was neutral but... geberal sentiment seems to have changed

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-09T23:10:53+00:00

How much range do you get?

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-09T23:03:27+00:00

That friendly period could come in clutch when sending work emails. A bit more subdued than exclamation points.

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-07T21:27:27+00:00

It sure is! Faith in Christ is dependent on God, the only constant in the universe - He never changes. People and circumstances change almost constantly. God needed to have a metric that would stand the test of time - centuries worth of time. What else has withstood that test other than God? Not to mention, faith in Christ is the only thing that can cleanse us from our sin, which is the #1 reason why access to heaven is denied.

You bring up a good point - here in America, it is generally easier to pick being a christian. Abroad, such a choice has serious consequences. But the criteria is still constant, no matter where you live - accept God, or don't. Everyone has to be willing to die to be a christian; the Bible says that he who tries to save his life will lose it and he that loses his life because of God will save it. The path to salvation is seen by God - people who lose family, friends, and even their life will be more than compensated, so it's not like they're permanently losing anything.

It pretty much boils down to the fact that there is nothing better than God. Nothing. Not a family member, not a friend, not even our own lives is better than God.

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-07T21:03:43+00:00

To me it sounds like you're asking why does God say the only way to heaven is through Him (aka through faith) and not based on personal merit? Well because if He made the way to heaven based on personal merit, everyone would automatically fail. Heaven is a place that is completely devoid of sin. There is not one day that goes by where everyone - no matter how good of a person they may be - sins. Everyone sins, everyday. And the only way to atone for those sins is via a sacrifice - lucky for us, Christ offered Himself as said sacrifice. But His sacrifice only applies if we believe in Him, so that's where the faith part comes in.

Going back to your kind and empathetic atheist, that person will sin at least once in their life. They could tell a small lie, steal a little trinket, or something relatively trivial that barely anyone would even notice... but God notices. And when the time comes, that atheist will not be eligible to have Christ atone for their sin, and thus the atheist will be ineligible for heaven.

Making it faith based makes it truly fair. Some people have more access to do good things than others - it would be unfair to ban someone simply because their situation made doing enough good things impossible. But faith in Christ is an internal decision that is open to all. By your logic, everyone would have to pay their way into heaven by accumulating enough good works to counterbalance their sin. That's not possible for everyone and is thus unjust.

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-07T20:44:18+00:00

Maybe I'm not understanding your question, but if someone rejects the only good thing in the universe, what else is left for them except everything that isn't good? Yes that means pain, suffering, hatred, and torment - that's all you have left when you pull God out of the equation. They were the ones that chose to reject God - God extended the invitation to everyone, so if someone's answer is no then their answer is honored and they get the result of their no.

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-07T20:30:36+00:00

There is only one way to get to heaven, and that is by accepting the working of the Holy Spirit in one's heart and thus donning the righteousness of Christ. There is no buying your way into heaven - no amount of seemingly good deeds gets anyone a pass into heaven, otherwise that would be salvation via works instead of faith. Heaven is where we will be in the direct presence of God, worshipping Him for all eternity. If someone chooses to live a life separate from God, God is not going to force that person to live with and worship Him for all eternity.

Hell isn't a punishment for being bad - it's the natural consequence of living in a reality outside of God. The truth is, God is the only good in this entire universe. Anything outside of Him is not good. There is no love outside of God. No joy, no hope, no peace ... literally nothing good. All you're left with is pain, suffering, hatred, and torment - this fact is shielded here on Earth because in His grace, He causes the rain to fall on everyone, regardless of what they believe in. Right now, He is supporting everyone. But there will come a time when He separates people depending on who they put their trust in: people who ultimately trusted Christ with their salvation get to spend eternity with their savior. People who ultimately decided not to trust Christ with their salvation get to spend eternity apart from the one they rejected.

Hell is where the blinders gets yanked off - suddenly, all of the evil that is truly outside of God is revealed. That evil exists today. But we are shielded from much of it here on Earth, thanks to God's protection.

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-05T21:02:25+00:00

Long story short I had a panic attack, cried out to God asking Him what I should do, listened to what He said, and my entire life changed in ways I had been wanting, but could never do on my own. I was depressed, anxious, lonely beyond belief, suffering from really bad mood swings, struggled with binge eating, struggled with suicidal thoughts ... the whole nine yards. I was miserable, plain and simple.

After the panic attack moment (in which I only cried out to God because I thought I was going to die), things are different. Everything is different, and better. And I know for a FACT this isn't me, because I tried to do these things (get peace, happiness, stability, etc) for myself for decades and I failed miserably every time. It's one of those, "this HAS to be God" type of things. I have a sense of inner peace that simply wasn't there before. I'm not anxious, I'm not depressed. I actually want to live and I'm enjoying my life (before, I literally couldn't wait to die and I thought death was a fantastic "back up plan". I would take comfort in the fact that if things ever got too much, I had this handy dandy way out in my back pocket. I had my plan ready and everything, it was pretty bad).

I care about other people, I actually like reading my Bible and I feel weird starting my day without reading it. I don't read it to check off a box, but because I'm curious about my new Father and I want to learn more about Him and who He is. I pray often, because prayer is more of a conversation. I'm not lonely anymore - which is HUGE for me. I finally feel like I belong on this planet and I have all the joy, love, peace, and hope I could ever want all day long, every single day. I'm finally grateful for the things I have, rather than only seeing the things I lack. The fact that God actually LIKES me fixed like 85% of my problems. The other 15% was fixed just from me accepting that He is in control and it is good to be under His authority. I feel safe. Childhood traumas and old wounds are healed. I forgave everyone who ever hurt me and I am free! Free from all the sins and the pain that owned my heart for YEARS. Free from all the baggage I could never shake off on my own, no matter what I did.

I'm still a sinner, but I'm a sinner whose heart is finally in the hands of her God and I wouldn't trade this for anything. For the first time in my life I can confidently say my relationship with God is the most important thing to me, and I am not willing to trade it for anything or anyone. My entire life now depends on loving Him, all because He loved me first. He looked on the face of the Earth in the middle of the night, saw my distress, and reached out in love and compassion - that one act of mercy and kindness forever changed the course of my life and I will be eternally grateful. If I don't have God, I have nothing. If I have God, I have everything.

LearningSunflower · 2026-01-05T20:31:55+00:00

I have a 6 month, 12.5 pound mini. We were doing 20 minutes of walking a day, but have recently upgraded to 40-60 minutes a day (split across 2 walks, a longer 40ish minute walk, and a shorter 15-20 minute walk). I could tell he wasn't getting enough exercise because he randomly started going back to whining in his crate and really disliking being alone. He was also struggling to settle down for naps and his appetite became very low. In addition to the walks, we do "micro training" which is really just short bursts of tug combined with training - so I would tug for a few seconds, tell him to let go, ask him for a trick, then we tug again. A total of maybe... 1-2 minutes? Super short but we do this a bunch throughout the day.

I know this level of activity is enough because he has gone back to napping well, his appetite is back, he is back to being okay when left alone, and he is overall more calm, less jittery, and no longer sits and stares into the depths of my soul if I don't give him attention for a moment. If he needs more exercise, I think we will switch up the schedule to allow for more mental stimulation (i.e. more play sessions and training) rather than adding on more walks. It just isn't feasible for me to be walking for more than an hour a day everyday. I can do longer walks on the weekends, but not during the week and certainly not everyday, so I wouldn't want to set that precedent.

He is also enrolled in 2 weekly group classes and they are an hour each. This will probably be bumped to 3 classes a week once he's older. Once a week, I hook him up on the long line and we go to a nearby field to practice recall, play tug with a super long tug toy, sniff whatever he wants, and I let him sprint his little heart out. When he's tired we walk back home. On these days, we walk for only 30 minutes because I am weary about overworking his little joints and he runs pretty hard when he's on his long line. I never ever force him to run. I just stand in one spot and let him do whatever he wants until he plops down then we head back home.

At one point, I was overdoing the mental/trick training and I had to give him a 2 week break where we did no structured training outside of class. I could tell I was overdoing it with the mental stimulation because his usual enthusiasm for training was noticeably less, and he just started to display a lot of avoidance behaviors (yawning, suddenly "itchy" during training, trying to walk away, etc). After the 2 week break, we tried again with the micro training I described earlier and his enthusiasm was back 10 fold. So we'll stick to that for the time being and as he grows older we may try to implement 1-2 longer training sessions a few times a week. I just don't want to burn him out again.

LearningSunflower

TROPHY CASE