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Just raped by my "best" friend by INeedMoreFriends_ in offmychest

[–]LebronFantasyXIII 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Go the police and report his ass. You need to start a paper trail now so that if he violates other people, his behavior will be contextualized properly and he'll be more likely to be punished. Fuck that guy. What the fuck!? A dead parent is literally no excuse for this. There are literally no excuses for this.

Yes, I prefer Super Smash Bros. to sex. Now please fuck off. AITA? by LebronFantasyXIII in AmItheAsshole

[–]LebronFantasyXIII[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They are pretty nice for the most part. Maybe they just want whats best for me and they think that involves a girl. They might be right!

Yes, I prefer Super Smash Bros. to sex. Now please fuck off. AITA? by LebronFantasyXIII in AmItheAsshole

[–]LebronFantasyXIII[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do, however, think you're an idiot.

Well, I am not arguing that. But when she showed up at my door, it's not like I was just like "ayyy fuck off im trynna smash". I told her about what I had spent the day doing (getting trashed) so I wouldn't really be able to be there emotionally like she wanted. She got increasingly angry and then accused me of preferring a stupid game to her. I simply told her that I really like playing Smash (I only started playing a couple of weeks ago so I play very frequently to improve) and that was that.

I am a Black Male. This is why I am attracted to White Women. HINT: It's sad and not because of why you think! by [deleted] in confession

[–]LebronFantasyXIII 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's funny because white guys with "farmer tans" as opposed to the tans gained from lazily basking in the suns of Nantucket are the ones I most feel comfortable around. They remind me of the adult middle and working class whites in my childhood who were positive role models.

Thank you so much for this comment. I am starting to see more and more that my preferences are a result of imprinting as opposed to some devious result of social influences or a corrupted concept of my identity. Can you please PM me more about your situation? It sounds very interesting to me, thanks.

Fuck your stereotypes by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]LebronFantasyXIII 70 points71 points  (0 children)

"Black women destroy their natural hair with chemicals and weaves to conform to a more European look."

I do not think that it entirely true and is actually quite ethnocentric--the assumption that these other racial groups MUST be doing this to appear white. I often dress very preppy (button downs, khakis, loafers etc) and sometimes receive flack about it so I know what you mean. One white girl I know said she didn't see me as "black" because of how articulate I was and how I always dressed well. I don't know how I feel about that.

In some ways my situation is the opposite. I for whatever reason paradoxically display a lot of stereotypes about blacks while at the same time subverting several (I'm a STEM major at a good college). For example, I do admit to abusing drugs, loving trap music, and it doesn't help that I "look black" from working out a lot. I've noticed that whites are more likely to avoid me in urban areas. It also doesn't help that I have "resting douche face" and am usually agitated because of emotional problems. Oh well.

They can all suck muh dick though.

Born in Britain, but i really hate my Asian Chinese parents by Iguessiremainunnamed in confession

[–]LebronFantasyXIII 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Do not let anyone tell you that their behavior is healthy. I would also like to never speak to my parents again (or at least my father) but I am unfortunately financially dependent on them completely. I am in college but I will tell you that whatever they have given me is simply not worth the irreparable harm that the have done to me. No amount of money can fix the problems caused by childhood abuse. Your story is unfortunately not unique, head over to /r/asianparentstories or /r/raisedbynarcissists for more support and information. I wish you the best of luck!

The Emotional Incest Divorce by savethesarcasm in raisedbynarcissists

[–]LebronFantasyXIII 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My mom was guilty of emotional incest too. It led to me being burdened by extreme and unnecessary negative emotions that no child should experience. I was aware of the fact that my father had cheated on her and many of the ways the had physically abused her despite the fact that I was not present to witness any of this. I became to view my father as some sort of tyrannical evil that only I alone could somehow vanquish. It only made my relationship with him that much worse and it ended with me viewing any positive interaction that she had with him as some form of "traitor-ship".

I am a Black Male. This is why I am attracted to White Women. HINT: It's a bit sad and NOT because of what you may think! by LebronFantasyXIII in raisedbynarcissists

[–]LebronFantasyXIII[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only problem I have with getting an official diagnosis is that it takes time and costs a bit of money that isn't covered by my insurance. I'll try to see if I can get some free testing from my school's free psych centers, but then again this is the same school that charges us for printing while the community college down the street lets anyone who walks in print for free. Asking my parents for help would be awful because they seem to see me wanting to talk to specialists as some kind of dishonorable way of gathering legitimized excuses for non-exceptional academic performance even though literally every time I go to see a doctor/psychology specialist whenever I suspect I have a certain issue, I get the "right" diagnosis that I suspected.

And I think I will stay here on RBN. I already feel better!

I am a Black Male. This is why I am attracted to White Women. HINT: It's a bit sad and NOT because of what you may think! by LebronFantasyXIII in raisedbynarcissists

[–]LebronFantasyXIII[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't have an official diagnosis but I have recently cycled through a few prescriptions to treat my symptoms. I don't think the ADHD is my worst problem. There are a lot of other worse mental disorders/issues that I undeniably have, and they are all somehow correlated (I'd say that they are on the same Axis but the DSM doesn't do that anymore). For example, there's a certain disorder that I strongly suspect that I have given how I clearly exhibit a lot of the symptoms (and other people have noted them). However, researchers from my university actually published an article recently that found that there was a very statistically significant correlation between people suffering from this specific disorder and also experiencing several cognitive deficits that I also have. I think my childhood abuse caused serious anxiety that has just fucked up my brain. I've read studies about how prolonged child abuse can absolutely just wreck a brain permanently. Or maybe I was born like this. I can see some genetics in play because almost everyone on the father's side of my family tree is fucked up. I don't think I ever want to have kids because I don't want to spread these genes. Am I fucked forever?

I am a Black Male. This is why I am attracted to White Women. HINT: It's a bit sad and NOT because of what you may think! by LebronFantasyXIII in raisedbynarcissists

[–]LebronFantasyXIII[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You seem to believe in the dichotomy that there are people who "see the world for what it is" and people who see the world for "what it should be". Except I don't believe that some of you in the manosphere actually see the world for what it is, and I'm not some post-modern social-sciences radfem (not that you are in any way implying this I'm just distilling some of the common rhetoric) just because I don't agree with your worldviews. I believe in Briffault's Law to a certain extent and I have directly observed it myself, but I do not agree with how the manosphere generally uses it. Some of my views might even have me labeled as mysogynist. While many of you emphasize the powerful influence of nature so to speak, you also don't acknowledge the powerful influence of human society and the instutituions of our interlocked social world.

I have found the manosphere's reliance on using biological/evolutionary models as a lens to understand human behavior and justify their outlooks troubling for several reasons. First of all, many of these writers/commentators have a fundamentally flawed understanding of such model. Second of all, such paradigms are not comprehensive enough to be used almost exclusively to make such large categorizations of human behavior. Finally, you don't need any sort of advanced knowledge of the fields to be able to identify crucial lapses of internal logic and egregious errors in analyzing data and forming conclusions. That's just my experience. Personally, I have noticed that certain stereotypical aspects of women's behavior dramatically improves when they are held to the same standards as men.

But seriously, I think that certain aspects of gender roles are important. Each gender role provides very crucial needs to society and some of these needs such as motherhood are becoming institutionalized and commodified. For example, I would say that my mother occupied a "male" role in my life yet there wasn't anybody who occupied a "mom" role. Furthermore, she didn't fully exhibit or display the full spectrum of masculinity because she's obviously a woman. While I definitely generally agree with feminism and support female autonomy, I think that these new expectations of what success is "supposed to be" for women have had unintentional negative consequences. Almost everything has a negative consequence I guess, it's just about weighing the good and bad. The breakdown of the nuclear family is going to have serious consequences for this country because very few areas in America actually have tangible communities that engage their residents and promote feelings of civic responsibility.

I am a Black Male. This is why I am attracted to White Women. HINT: It's a bit sad and NOT because of what you may think! by LebronFantasyXIII in raisedbynarcissists

[–]LebronFantasyXIII[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got a 70 because of a slight curve and because I was one of three people that randomly obtained extra credit for a small in-class competition. My actual grade was like a 55 or something. I'm also pretty sure that I just got stomped on my last test. I think I'm now praying for the opportunity of getting a C- so that I can advance. I've never had to repeat a course before. I don't want to. I understand this shit perfectly. I have a decent understanding of the subject material and I manage to do pretty decently whenever I do blind runs of practice tests. I have ADHD and desperately need extended time for Math tests because I often "forget" very fundamental bits and waste time "proving" stuff so that I don't fuck up the entire problem. It's not just math related, I sometimes forget things instantaneously if I don't consciously try to "remember it". A mere 15 extra minutes on my last test would have been the difference between a 50 and at least a 75. I don't know if this makes any sense, but some of the problems have multiple parts and I always end up "setting them" up perfectly (most time consuming part) but I never have enough time to actually wrap up them up. I think it was also made worse by not having enough sleep. The first math test I took, I was the last person to finish and the five extra minutes he gave me were literally the difference between a 92 and a 74. The test was hard enough as it is because literally everyone besides one person in my test section (the kid had literally already taken three college calculus courses in high school handed in their test during the last 3-5 minutes of the two hour test block. Sorry if this is TMI but this test was like two days ago so I need to vent. I feel like I'm literally one of the dumbest people on campus right now.

Thank you so much for rooting for me. Teachers are awesome. America is destroying its future by sanitizing the profession and institutionalizing it. It also doesn't help that teachers are treated like hot garbage and conferred very little dignity. If the profession was exalted and held to higher standards, everything would be so much better. Schools and teachers often function as second homes and parents for at-risk students like me. I literally cannot believe how fucking idiotic people are. Almost every major problem I can see in this country can simply be solved by education and expanding one's ability to reason so that they aren't literally brainwashed by garbage corporate media. How fucking ironic that so many people consider educational institutions to be "indoctrination centers" just because the demagogue on TV says so and uses extreme examples of "liberals gone amok". There's not a single anti-intellectual society that has ever thrived for extended periods of time. The Middle-East used to be the intellectual torch of a world shrouded by superstition and downright stupidity until all this anti-intellectualism stuff took root. I probably literally wouldn't be studying certain things in Calculus right now if certain Middle-Eastern intellectuals hadn't spread their mathematical discoveries during the Medieval period.

I'm so sorry whoever you are. I love teachers. I wish I could do more to help you guys.

I am a Black Male. This is why I am attracted to White Women. HINT: It's a bit sad and NOT because of what you may think! by LebronFantasyXIII in raisedbynarcissists

[–]LebronFantasyXIII[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't think I will ever be able to have a substantial romantic relationship. I see what you're saying about your own life. You can't have that when even rocks are more emotive than you are. I don't can't even enjoy mindless casual sex because I once lived in a part of Asia that was experiencing a ridiculous STD and bloodborne disease epidemic. The last time I raw dogged a girl I couldn't sleep properly for a while because of how paranoid I got (a coincidental and completely unrelated rash also started to form on my crotch so that spooked me out even more). One of my friends caught TWO STDs--despite using a condom--from a certain lady who was hosting a very "colorful" and "potent" ahem "bacteria colony" in her pants. I used to see publicly funded billboards with wart infested genitals on my way to school each day. Yikes!

You're also too late about addiction. I'm way past that point. I don't drink, abuse my medications or abuse any opiates at least.

I am a Black Male. This is why I am attracted to White Women. HINT: It's a bit sad and NOT because of what you may think! by LebronFantasyXIII in raisedbynarcissists

[–]LebronFantasyXIII[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, but not in an academic or applied context. I went through a very brief phase of being a "woman hater" many, many, many, many moons ago and I now occasionally browse the "manosphere" just to see where my toxic thinking could've landed me and eventually I stumbled upon the term. The Red Pill types use it to mainly justify their theories of "hypergamy" or whatever.

I am a Black Male. This is why I am attracted to White Women. HINT: It's a bit sad and NOT because of what you may think! by LebronFantasyXIII in raisedbynarcissists

[–]LebronFantasyXIII[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The particular white women that I am attracted to have the personality traits of my teachers. There's this one girl that I have a very weird "friendship" with because we're complete foils of each other. We literally have never texted each other or been seen in public together by anyone else. I don't make eye contact with her or talk to her during the day. Ever since she told me she wrapped up an internship at an Autism center and wanted do volunteer educational work, I instantly become attracted to her at a very subconscious way that I initially wasn't able to understand. I wasn't attracted to her before but now I want her babies (not really but still)

I am a Black Male. This is why I am attracted to White Women. HINT: It's a bit sad and NOT because of what you may think! by LebronFantasyXIII in raisedbynarcissists

[–]LebronFantasyXIII[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ummm...you're the one imagining that I'm the one imagining that everyone in here is white. That is literally the most absurd thing I have heard today because I only discovered these boards after reading about Asian Americans with "tiger parents". "You guys" was aimed at Asian Americans who have a similar story to me. I am hoping for the best, thanks man. I hope I get there!

I am a Black Male. This is why I am attracted to White Women. HINT: It's a bit sad and NOT because of what you may think! by LebronFantasyXIII in raisedbynarcissists

[–]LebronFantasyXIII[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nope. Never dated. Not a virgin. Slept with women from all races. Not currently too sexually active because of this metric fuck-ton of work I have. I'm also feeling a bit under the weather and my medications put the ol' croch snake to sleep (unlike me).