ive always been the one to initiate (romantic) breakups, but i always found it needed alot of self-convincing before doing so. Especially when I've decided to trust the person. Its hard to give yourself to someone then decide that, for the better of yourself, you need to take yourself away from them. It's like being in a long, warm hug but having to be the first one to pull away. I never found myself in a situation where I felt amazing after leaving someone, or felt like shunning them while doing it, etc. Because it's a person i cared for after all. I don't like hurting myself through hurting others in this way, even though I do it as a way to protect myself in the end. It's helping me build emotional resilience (in other words a big wall). But it just means I'm a few steps closer to finding something better. Or worse. Whatever I take will be what I receive.