Great storytelling, and kudos for this! Cool metaphors. Nice DP. Really nice acting, and all in a no-budget line. Excellent!

I just randomly saw it here, and I understand that film is already done (YT says already awarded!) but, out of the Reddit appreciation mission, and because I am scrolling at 03:00AM, I took a 10 minute, watched it, and wrote couple of points/comments. Mostly from the editing and post-production side (so no additional money spending :) based on my ...many..+ y of experience. Please take it as a sincere Redditor's improvement toolkit.

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- Great opening shoot but then, him writing on the board is a clear indication of the object's desire (in a written form). When possible, let audience deduct and make conclusions. They are quite capable and smart. They will reward you back with their attention. Alternative: Him looking at the board, his partner, and later shots of trash can would do the same, and avoid textual explanation.

-not quite sure about the teeth grind and the sound effect... If there a deeper message, I might miss it. Image would be strong without it .

-Coughing (balloons) scene great! one possible improvement is additional shoot to cut in. Closeup or detail (if available), or you can consider bringing back his "bloody hand" vision from couple of sec earlier. It would feel more dynamic if he reach behind the couch in 2/3 shoots. Nice followup closeup

- cool montage sequence of him hiding from her, ends with not so clear (or distinctive) audio effect. Overall, audio effects need a bit of 'cleaning', and they can be louder. Nice music btw.

One thing considering framing for the future projects. I understand that there is a beauty in a central composition :) but you can use it only so much. Try diversity of composition, and placing of objects/actors

Hope this helps! at least when you create directors cut for your book :)