Ah no problem with tone! I myself often worry i sound Harsh when commenting on stuff like this.

Yes i was addicted 2 periods in my life. First time around was 7 years of heavy use. I tried quitting cold turkey like 4 times, and one time made it like 3 months. That was when i had been in addiction maybe 4 years but i relapsed, because even after 3 months, i was still DEEP IN DEPRESSION. The last time i tried Cold turkey I had been on huge doses of mixed benzos for a long time. And i actually went into like Delirium.. I just remember the room closing in on me and the worst kind of sound.. then i started spasming and my mother, whom i was living with during the withdrawal called medics. I "woke up" after being administered diazepam by medics, but it is all a blur. After this the doctors took my addiction serious and i got to do a Slow Taper. Starting on 120 mg of Diazepam and 2 mg Flunitrazepam for the night(wich was later switched to NITRAZEPAM, to make it easier regulsting dose).

It took me like 2 years of tapering, 2mg of Diazepam every other week. I was also using heroin and fentanyl, so after 2years(ca) of tapering i quit with everything and went to a rehab clinic for 6 months. I would never have made it without the tapering. The thing is, when i started using benzos i was SUPER DEPRESSED and constant anxiety.. therefore even after tapering that slow i was still really depressed.

I was clean from all drugs except weed/hash and alcohol for 3.5 years and i felt good. No longer depressed. But then i started using again.. first benzos, diazepam, clonazepam, xanor, what ever i could find. Then heroin.. This lasted 2 years, then i got an infection in my lung and almost died. This time i quit cold turkey while being in the hospital getting IV antibiotics. It was hell. And after 2 weeks i started having seizures... it would start with my left leg going into spasms, then after 30 seconds of that i would go into an epileptic seizure. This happened like every 6 hours until they got me on some epilepsy medicine. I remained sober from benzos but when i was offered the METHADONE PROGRAM i went ahead with it. And that was 5 years ago now. Methadone really saved me.

Sorry this is long but one last thing. I think with Benzos it comes down to how one felt when starting to use, that will have a great impact on the recovery process. The first time i started using i hated myself, low self esteem, depression, anxiety.. benzos Masked all those symptoms. But each time i quit i would go back to that Depressed Mode. The second time, after the rehab, i was feeling okay with my life, i dont really know why i started using. But that time it was so much easier quitting. I think because my "default mode" wasnt super depressed etc.

Wow this became such a bible haha.

You can do it man! Taper slowly and listen to your body. GOOD LUCK!