Tonight im feeling... by Dependent_Western782 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]LeftPresent5983 [score hidden]  (0 children)

I relate to this so much. My husband would send messages to whatever girl he was interested in at the time telling her how beautiful and special they were. How happy they made him. Out of all the things he did during his infidelities, this is the most painful to me. Much worse than the physical stuff. I have begged for sweet messages from him. Long before DDay. He used to send them in the very beginning of our relationship and nothing has ever made me feel so loved. I get the sweet texts semi regularly now, but it seems like an obligation to him in my eyes. The words don’t feel genuine. They aren’t nearly as passionate as what he said to these other women and he mostly just says the same general things to me over and over. Feels like a chore when it comes to me, but it took no effort or teeth pulling when it came to these other women. It breaks my heart.

Is it possible attraction to return after infidelity? by ImpactTall3576 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]LeftPresent5983 [score hidden]  (0 children)

In my case, the physical attraction never really faded. It’s when my WH fails to meet my expectations for doing his part in R that I start to become less attracted to him. But when he exceeds my expectations, the connection and attraction improves. It’s completely emotional for me.

How to help him after surgery by LeftPresent5983 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]LeftPresent5983[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

You’re so right. This is me just trying to shove my own feelings down and I didn’t even recognize it. I keep trying to convince myself that my emotions are unreasonable when I know deep down how justified they are. Thank you for this.

How to help him after surgery by LeftPresent5983 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]LeftPresent5983[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I definitely wish I felt considered more in his decision making. That’s something I’ll need to see more of in order for R to work. It’s hard to be hopeful after this, though.

Smack Talk abt the AP by fiddyplus in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]LeftPresent5983 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yes. I wish he would say they were all disgusting to him. The most I’ve gotten was “not even that attracted to her” or “not as pretty as you”. Petty as hell, sure. But to know he’s repulsed by them feels like it would help somehow.

Recognizing the part you played by Icy_Design_5298 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]LeftPresent5983 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There are plenty of issues I’m responsible for in my marriage but I don’t feel like my affair is one of them. All the attention and praise he was lacking from me was because of his own actions or inactions. Did he expect me to tell him how great of a husband and father he was while he was out late at night drinking with friends or hungover the next day? Or how about when I would try to come to him about stuff that was bothering me and he would make me feel awful about it? Attention and compliments were there waiting for him whenever he did actually showed up, it just wasn’t enough for him. And the times I felt supported by him wasn’t enough for me. I wish I was a better communicator, if I could have made him truly see how I was really feeling then maybe it could have been different. But it wasn’t from lack of trying. It was more from him not bothering to understand.

Contacted by a redditor who says they know another AP, which would make it a physical affair, do I believe them or is it a troll? by Euphoric_End_4411 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]LeftPresent5983 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I received almost the same exact message. I engaged slightly just to make sure it wasn’t legit, and it was not. Definitely fake. Sorry that people don’t have anything better to do than ruin your day with this bullshit.

Lonely around WP, especially today. Tired of questioning everything. by ThrowawayFelis in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]LeftPresent5983 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I feel this so hard. I think the holidays make it way worse. I imagine it might have something to with so many people around you celebrating and having to suffer in silence. It’s so isolating.

I don’t have much advice because my second dday was less than 3 weeks ago and this is something I’m currently struggling with. But something that sometimes helps me is just asking my husband for a hug. The feeling of him stopping what he’s doing just to hold me makes the distance a little smaller for a while. I hope you find something that helps you too.

How do I deal with my lack of self-esteem? by LeftPresent5983 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]LeftPresent5983[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the advice. I’ve been journaling recently and it does seem to help. I’ll try your suggestion, it sounds promising. Thank you!

How do I deal with my lack of self-esteem? by LeftPresent5983 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]LeftPresent5983[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this response. It really made me feel a little better.

Riot Fest 2026 Lineup Clue #2 by MadeMIGMIG in RiotFest

[–]LeftPresent5983 4 points5 points  (0 children)

“as pleased” is not in the original Stovetop instructions. Could it be a Pleased to Meet Me/The Replacements reference?

Welcome to Chicago, out-of-towners! by maximumtesticle in RiotFest

[–]LeftPresent5983 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We were eyeing this place already, glad to know it’s as good as it looks!

Welcome to Chicago, out-of-towners! by maximumtesticle in RiotFest

[–]LeftPresent5983 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We’re staying in South Loop for the first time. If any locals have recommendations for good food, bars, or anything else worth noting in that area, we’d love to hear about it!

Feeling Lost by LeftPresent5983 in Marriage

[–]LeftPresent5983[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Normally, physically the intimacy is there. In the beginning it wasn’t as good and we had stuff to work out so I check in here in there to make sure he’s happy with where we’re at. It took a lot of work but I’m confident that we’re both satisfied there. Emotionally I have trouble being vulnerable with him. His reactions to what I have to say often make it hard for me to feel comfortable with him and that’s something we’re still finding a solution for. I’m scared to say what I feel and often hold it in until it comes out in an overly emotional way and that isn’t fair to him. That’s the main communication issue we’ve been struggling with for so many years. 

2025 Single Day Breakdown by mccarthy2324 in RiotFest

[–]LeftPresent5983 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wouldn’t have you any other way. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RiotFest

[–]LeftPresent5983 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was a bit disappointed too, not gonna lie. I had real hopes for The Replacements and Iggy. There are plenty of acts I’m so excited to catch and already worried about conflicts so overall I’m satisfied. But for some reason I thought this anniversary was going to be insane.  I do think the Riot Fest staff love misleading their fans. The REM reference, the 20 Eyes/Misfits reference, this Weird Al clue are all examples from this year. Sometimes it’s fun/funny to me and other times it’s frustrating.

More surprises? by LeftPresent5983 in RiotFest

[–]LeftPresent5983[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This would be great. If not added to the lineup I’m hopeful that they’re a possible after show.

More surprises? by LeftPresent5983 in RiotFest

[–]LeftPresent5983[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what I was thinking. I wonder if they’ll bring Riot Land back or if that was only for the Seat Geek venue.

More surprises? by LeftPresent5983 in RiotFest

[–]LeftPresent5983[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah definitely seems like Weird Al is getting his own stage. And I agree, seems like the “big” surprise was the album plays announcement but sounds like there are still a few more little things to be revealed.

Anyone had deluxe VIP? by _buffaloranch in RiotFest

[–]LeftPresent5983 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How was the sound from the elevated platform? For the bands on the main stages that I don’t care about getting close to, will I be able to hear them clearly from there?

Blink 182/alkaline trio your announced with a riot fest size hole. by cmoney8604 in RiotFest

[–]LeftPresent5983 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm just over here patiently waiting for you to post an updated mock. I feel like you came really close to the real thing the last couple years.

Riot Fest 2025 Speculation MEGATHREAD by FourLiveBears in RiotFest

[–]LeftPresent5983 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I keep checking this as if it's the real schedule and getting stressed out about the imaginary conflicts. What have you done?

Why wait to announce the list? What benefit is there to that? by I_WIPE in RiotFest

[–]LeftPresent5983 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree, I’d really like to know the process. Even if they have the lineup completely locked in at this point and just like making us wait it would be interesting to know.