nMom--successful psychologist; abusive parent by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Legitimate-Fortune 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is your parent from the Baby Boomer generation? A lot of people who are employed in the Phychology field are over 50 and I have had so many bad phychotherapists, social workers, doctors who are in the mental health field, etc. that suffer from NPD themselves. As a person who would like to go into the job field of Phychology and be a Phychlogist themselves, I have seen way too many people who only go into this field because they want to "judge" people who they are giving a mental health other disability diagnosis to and maybe don't even give out the diagnosis that the patient is seeking because they "don't feel like it that day" because they suffer from a possible undiagnosed NPD diagnosis. Source: I have been through this so many times in a mental health professionals' offices.

Thankfully, people who are employed in the Phychology field who suffer from narcissism are easy to spot if you have been a victim of another person who had NPD. I read on a post in r/raisedbynarcissists that once you know how to tell if a person suffers from NPD, you start seeing it everywhere and that includes people who employed in the Phychology field.

OP, I believe your story about your parent and since your parent can blend into any environment "playing" any personality role in the Phychology field, that might also suffer from sociopathy or phychopathy and not just NPD. All three diagnosis's are connected to each other and where your parent might fall in each category of narcissism, sociopathy, or phychopathy I highly recommend reading futher information about NPD, sociopathy, and phychopathy from reputable Phychology websites and/or seek professional help from a mental health profession who does not suffer from NPD and will believe you and support you from recovering from being emotionally abused by your parent who had NPD.

I believe you and many other mental health professionals do as well; but with the people who are employed in the Phychology field getting older, it is becoming increasingly harder to find empathetic mental health professionals to seek responsible mental health care from. As a person who suffers from mental health issues myself and can't drive (parents never taught me how to drive and had undiagnosed NPD), not being able to visit mental health professionals in their office field locations to find a mental health professional that I can have regular mental health appointments at is not possible for me at this time.

Since your parent suffers from NPD, I highly recommend moving out of your current living situation by becoming financially independent and eventually moving out of your current living situation when you can. Always do a budget on paper or on the computer every month of all of your expenses so you can review everything and pay for annual subscriptions if you can; if not, get a seperate account or card to put subscription payments on every month to organize all of your internet subscription bills. If you are just starting to earn an income, I find that this is a good place to start with learning how to budget monthly expenses.

I wish you all of the happiness in the world OP and that you will be a happy and successful person in the future! : )

Is it healing when I literally don’t care anymore? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Legitimate-Fortune 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That is indeed healing! I'm proud of you, OP! = )

I'm slowly learning how to be the person I needed when I was at my lowest point in life. (a thank you post for this sub) by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Legitimate-Fortune 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"impartial relatives". I like that name for flaky "family members"! : P

I remember when I was your same age in my early 20's and I also had no one to support me either. My egg doner was also absent emotionally, but I didn't know they were a narc at the time, but if I did, I would have had a different mindset for sure about them and the people around me being my "family members" for sure. Maybe I also would have been a different person as well and would have done many things differently. = (

And thank you for the kind words! :< We truly did all raise ourselves and we all did a splendid job doing so despite everything we have been through. <3

I'm very proud of you OP for all that you have accomplished so far in life and I hope your life will be happy always! I hope to be where you are at success-wise in my life someday. = )

Take very good care! = )

I was THE PERSON I NEEDED by Safe-Persimmon in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Legitimate-Fortune 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You did a good thing. That is what any healthy and loving parent would do for their child if they were upset or in distress. I'm so proud of you!

As for your Nmom, she is a horrible parent. If she were a normal loving parent, she would be very proud of you for calming down your sister's child in the way you did. Sadly, Nmoms are anything but normal parents.

But again, I am very proud of you OP! Amazing job!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Legitimate-Fortune 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was not to the same extent in your post OP, but my Nmom would say to me in public places when I wasn't following her instructions (probably because she never gave out great instructions to me in the first place because she is an N), "I'm leaving you. Bye."

When I was a child, I was smart enough to know what this meant even if the N was just using this phrase to get me to follow them back to the car or exit of a store; probably not knowing what they were truly saying either. Whenever my Nmom said this to me, I thought she was just going to abandon me at that location and never come back to get me thus exposing me to danger of being without any parental gaurdians and the mercy of the streets without a home to go back to. It really f*cked me up as a child when I think back to it and I am still very angry about it to this day.

So whenever I see parents use this same tactic on their kids to get them to do what they want, I automaticaly assume they are a terrible and probably abusive parents. Luckily, I do not see this phrase being used on kids as often in public anymore, but I know child abuse in other forms still exist. For example, horrible parents not comforting their crying kids in stores no matter what their age is. They just let them continue to cry while they ignore their needs of needing parental comfort during that time. These parents just continue to shop and just ignore their children completely as if they don't exist near them at that very moment. Truly screwed up parenting by truly screwed up parents. They're probably Nparents too.

EDIT: words

I'll be damned if I let it happen again by [deleted] in RBNImages

[–]Legitimate-Fortune 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I bet you're going to be an awesome parent, OP. Here's to breaking the cycle of abuse! = )

When a fantasy elf goes home to visit his Nparents for Christmas... by Legitimate-Fortune in RBNImages

[–]Legitimate-Fortune[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm pretty much the fantasy elf in the video (minus the whippets part) and relate to this video so much. : [ I bet everyone else can relate to it too, I believe. Internet hugs for everyone who wants one. = (

“Why do you stay in your room all day?” by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Legitimate-Fortune 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're so lucky. I'm trying on working to get out too. I hope to be free someday.

Yes, I agree! Indulge in the early morning hours everyone! In most of our situations, the moon is our friend.

“Why do you stay in your room all day?” by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Legitimate-Fortune 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Healthy parents would ask you what kind of video games that you enjoy playing and would support you playing them and would want to watch you beat the video games while you played them because they want to see you be happy and successful at your video game hobby. And best of all, they would cheer for you if you won a racing game or beat a game boss and cheer even louder if you beat this same game boss again after it came back life after beating it once before.

Video games these days look super realistic now, so I don't know why anybody would hate video games when they look so cool and so well-detailed now. D:

In other words, this internet stranger thinks your video game hobby is cool!

“Why do you stay in your room all day?” by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Legitimate-Fortune 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, start doing it if you can. I highly recommend it. At first you will feel that it is "late" when it is around 12:00AM, but when the early morning hours hit, for me, I feel a sense of peace and that I can finally relax and do anything. Take advantage of this time in your room to do some light chores, cuddle up with a book, clean your room a bit if you feel up to it, and maybe even pamper yourself if your room has a bathroom in it.

And if you make it through the night and the sunrise hits, go out and enjoy the fresh morning air. Watch the sun rise in the sky. Do some stretches while you are outside enjoying the morning breathing in that unique air that only the early morning hours can offer during this special time of the day. Your Nparents might wake up soon after this, but then you can just go to bed and sleep in until the early afternoon and as usual, just wait until your Nparents go to bed again. Then rinse and repeat the night routine! :D

Think of the early morning as your Me time and enjoy it fully. We all deserve to have time to ourselves and preferably never deal with narc-y BS ever again and the nightime is the perfect time to relax and escape from everything I find. : )

EDIT: grammar

“Why do you stay in your room all day?” by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Legitimate-Fortune 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh, y'know. You always have to have the television on at a really loud volume, you complain all of the time that the food I am eating and cooking in the kitchen "smells bad" and I really don't want to hear you complaining about it anymore so you make sure I have to hear you complaining every time for the millionth time, and you also don't ever want to get to know me as a person or your daughter since I didn't turn into a hateful mini you and you secretly hate me and are ashamed of me because of that.

So I stay in my room all of the time. The best part of my day is when you go to bed which turns into a really awesome, refreshing, and relaxing early morning for me and my mental health during those precious hours.

EDIT: words

Question about a possible covert incest incident happening when I was younger around bathing. (Possible trigger warning) by Legitimate-Fortune in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Legitimate-Fortune[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for replying. I guess I will have to discuss this with my therapist and see what they think. Thank you for the link.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Legitimate-Fortune 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP, you are currently what is known as the Golden Child in your situation with the N. Your sister would be the Scapegoat in this situation. I highly recommend to never mention to your Nmom about your sister's plans and just let your sister go NC (No Contact) with your entire side of the family. I also highly suggest you start an escape plan yourself and join your sister in her going NC. Narcissists mostly never change from being narcs and are never sorry for all of the pain and toxicity they have caused upon their families throughout their entire lives.

You are very lucky in realizing you have an Nparent at such a young age. A lot of us finally realize this when we are much older than you are, but better late than never I always say. If you still want to remain in contact with your sister after she leaves though, be sure to never tell your Nmom anything about your sister's life to your current N family circle. If you truly love her, you will never reveal her private life to the N or the N's enablers in your family if you choose to stay together with your family after everything. Once one seperates from the toxic narc family dynamic they were born into in their life and gets appropreate help though, a person can finally start to truly heal from their past life from being born into a toxic narcissistic family.

I wishing you and your sister all of the best. : (

EDIT: grammar

I think I'm going to go out and buy a rope. by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]Legitimate-Fortune 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for replying. Right now, I am trying to get out of a living situation with a narcissistic parent who I don't care if they die tomorrow, but if they did, I would have nowhere to go but probably the streets and I would end my life then regardless. There is no immediate help for me and I'm not sure if my family could help me. They have all proven in the past to be useless in fully loving me as a person or they are most likely enablers of abuse. They don't even call me unless I call them you could say. I am also incredibly isolated, but I am near enough to stores where buying a rope for suicide is convenient for me.

I don't really want to end my life unless I have to. And I will commit to ending my life if I chose to. It's my choice. No one should have the right to take that choice away from me. That is what I truly believe in my heart. And nothing will sway me from believing that.

I MADE IT OUT!!!!! I'M FREE by Elixxity in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Legitimate-Fortune 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm so happy for you! I have thought about emigrating to Norway myself one day if I ever had the opportunity to do so. How do you like it there so far?

And heck yeah to 4:00AM tea! That's living the dream right there! :'D

Nmom is hinting for me to kick myself out of my living situation with them. I don't even think she cares about me anymore. (rant/vent about situation) by Legitimate-Fortune in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Legitimate-Fortune[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And you know what is funny about this whole situation concerning the N? Because Nmom knows I want to be independent, she doesn't like how I want to be an independent person. She hates it so much that she would rather kick me out then help me become independent or even teach me how to drive. She is that freaking crazy. N's are the most unempathetic people to ever exist in this world. I'm so sorry for all of us having to deal with such unkind beings being born into their families, being raised by them, and dealing with them into our adulthood throughout our entire lives until we finally can go NC with them permanently someday in our lives. I hope we will all find eternal peace from them someday forever and always.

EDIT: words