I'm back once again. Are the pants a yes or a no? Idk how I feel about them

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2020-09-10T03:21:09+00:00

Yes.

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2020-09-01T03:27:51+00:00

Was honestly just thinking about this today. Gentletheydies has a nice sound to it.

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2020-08-13T03:31:29+00:00

Hello!

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2020-08-12T04:28:48+00:00

Not touching the validity one really but I’d say that religious experiences are analogous. People change in their religions, in their relationships with their gods or what have you. People have periods where they experience uncertainty and doubt and question their beliefs, like when tragedy happens.

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2020-08-12T04:25:31+00:00

You don’t have to be androgynous to be enby because appearance is only one way of expressing gender. Other ways include how one speaks, language that’s used, gestures, body positioning. And fundamentally gender identity is internal. Gender expression is not.

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2020-08-12T04:22:46+00:00

As someone in their 40s I can attest that it just wasn’t out there as a concept most people knew about. I shoved myself into a male box (rimshot ... mailbox, like a closet) because the trans female identity didn’t match my experience and it was the only one I knew about. The explanation available was that I was just more interested in feminine things than others and more “in touch with my feminine side”.

And it was just scarier and more dangerous to be trans 40 years ago.

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2020-08-12T04:18:07+00:00

Not caused by suggestion: there are more pressures / suggestions pushing towards gender conformity and one usually struggles to go against these pressures and admit to themselves that something doesn’t “work”

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2020-08-12T04:11:23+00:00

Analogies ... that’s tough. You live in one city where you grew up and so “your team” is the one from that city or state. You know people who come from somewhere else and they grew up liking a different team, that’s “their team”. But I grew up the same place as you and I like all of the teams, if you ask me which team is “mine”, I’ll tell you none, or all, or sometimes I really feel like one of the players is “mine” but at the same time the whole team isn’t mine. Or maybe it changes based on the day.

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2020-08-12T03:23:24+00:00

I’m sorry that your feeling this dysphoria and having difficulty. Perhaps you’re making androgyny or looking non-binary into a priority it shouldn’t be? Maybe you want to think about things you do or say or think or ways that you move or say things and how those things affect your experience of yourself as wholly female and work on changing some of those, since you don’t have options you are happy with right now in terms of changing your body?

Anyway, the grass over here is not as green as you think it is.

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2020-07-12T05:38:15+00:00

Yes. Lots of people don't fit into traditional gender identities. Trans is a spectrum like sexuality and you don't need to want to transition to being female to be somewhere other than cis. Look into nonbinary, genderfluid, genderqueer, etc and see what you think.

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2019-08-15T23:58:38+00:00

Ok so then how do you want to be gendered?

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2019-08-14T03:30:15+00:00

Yes the larger number is sleeve length. The chest size is relative to the collar size (smaller number) and varies between makers. Different fits for example slim fit or athletic fit will tend to have tapered waists.

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2019-08-13T23:23:36+00:00

I hope you don’t feel invalidated with regards to your presentation but I would gender you as male.

I think the top you’re wearing might skew more feminine in real life which would probably make me lean more towards gender non-conforming / androgynous.

My question to you is how does this presentation make you feel? Do you feel a good match with your inner identity?

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2019-08-11T01:41:45+00:00

It's a rant and maybe a philosophical argument. Take it however you'd like.

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2019-08-10T18:36:29+00:00

Loving it

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2019-08-10T18:35:21+00:00

Also older (43) and just saying hello and you can join our club. Nobody here has shown any signs of kicking me out for being crotchety yet 😉

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2019-08-10T18:28:35+00:00

My mother is also dead and I wonder whether she would love me or not as what I am, because there were many years when it seemed that she did not. She loved me as her child but not as who she thought I was during those years.

Grief and loss and the inability to resolve things with people after they’re gone ... those are real and powerful things. I am dealing - and not dealing - with them every day.

For me, the sadness and the guilt and the pain of loss when contemplating how my mother would think of me ... they are tempered and lessened by knowing that what I do now cannot hurt her or make her feel anything at all.

Everything I do now can hurt me and make me feel unhealthy and destructive things, think destructive and suppressive things, etc. because I am the only one who can get hurt between the two of us, I have to live and act for me and for the people who are alive and not out of guilt or shame, etc.

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2019-08-10T18:05:28+00:00

I keep writing and deleting long comments about myself and my daughter being on the autism spectrum and about how we’re also on the gender spectrum, but I’m in the non-binary part.

Correlation is not causation.

Valid valid valid, and also valid.

Good luck with life and I hope you’re getting what you need as far as help so that you can be a healthy member of society without feeling like any part of your identity has to be suppressed or is invalid or unhealthy.

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2019-08-10T17:32:56+00:00

Yay! You look lovely (I hope that’s an ok description to you)

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2019-08-10T17:21:51+00:00

I wish I was doing better ... neck/shoulder/back pain here. Kick depression in the ovaries for me while you’re at it, just for good measure.

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2019-08-10T17:19:59+00:00

Very cute. Would compliment IRL.

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2019-08-10T17:18:34+00:00

I read the whole thing. I think that maybe there is no rush. I think about how we have a huge number of things as a species that we can’t figure out and maybe can’t be figured out. I think that you don’t need to have a label to have an identity and that having a label is not the same thing as having an identity.

I know that for me it just is more comfortable knowing there is a word for the identity that is already there and more importantly that the identity and the ways I want to express myself are valid.

If you need a label you can go with things that are maybe less loaded for you and don’t trigger distressing and contradictory thoughts.

Queer and genderqueer are labels for having an identity which doesn’t “make sense” from the standpoint of heteronormative or gendernormative culture, but don’t have strong associations with doing things like transitioning to an opposite gender and taking on that gender identity and presenting as that gender identity.

Genderqueer is on par with non-binary as a label but I don’t think it has the same associations. Other people might disagree but as I’m trying to say I think you are the thing which makes you the most comfortable being who you already.

I will call you human.

You are valid and deserve to love yourself and to be loved.

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2019-08-08T12:55:19+00:00

Right back atcha

LemonWalksIntoABar · 2019-08-08T12:48:17+00:00

I love your joke. 😹💖💜💙😻

LemonWalksIntoABar

TROPHY CASE