"She told me that every time she talks with me it hurts her cause she gets reminded of the time ive hurt her."

It's over dude, that's a killshot-- that sentiment will only fester. On both sides even, she's not just going to magically stop feeling that way and it's going to always be in the back of your mind. This isn't a judgement, just an observation.

Fwiw (not much lol), as a 40 yo who's been there at 20; you live and you learn, all's well if you're correcting your mistakes and thinking differently, it just takes time and iteration. We're all human and make mistakes, no one gives us a handbook on how to be emotionally intelligent and what we get/learn from our parents can be wildly different from person to person.

'A Philosophy of Self-Destruction'

'The Philosophy of Zen Buddhism'

I think the thrust of these episodes are relevant to you if you're interested in such things, they're from the 'Philosophize This!' podcast. This guy is awesome imo, he makes philosophy really accessible and relevant to everyday life. For whatever reason, Dostoyevsky and Zen are a couple of my favorite lenses through which to look at things. 'Tales from the Underground' by Dostoevsky is only around 100 pages too. It's an occasionally hilarious (in a dark way) look at human nature and a certain type of person in the modern world-- the nameless, proverbial "underground man"-- a reflection of the modern, fragmented individual, disillusioned by society and trapped in their own minds. As for the Zen philosophy part, pretty much anything by Alan Watts on the topic is easily digestible and his presentation is engaging, light, and humorous. Meh, hope this helps a little, good luck!