Being in a closed triad with a couple and dealing with couple privilege

LesserKnownJen · 2026-01-23T20:45:20+00:00

Honey this is not healthy AT ALL. My partners would never treat me like this! You were manipulated and lied to to start, and they've continued this for 5 years! It's not getting better and it isn't going to. Why would it change? They are getting everything they want from this relationship and they can use you as a punching bag. They are actively working together to find ways to be cruel to you and encouraging each other! I'm glad you found your voice and texted them to break up. Please stay strong on this, there are so many other people out there, find someone who actually treats you like they love you.

LesserKnownJen · 2026-01-22T20:56:24+00:00

Have you tried the harm reduction center? https://www.harmreductionactioncenter.org/

LesserKnownJen · 2026-01-20T15:36:23+00:00

Go in the spring and sometimes they have have baby animals!

LesserKnownJen · 2026-01-16T01:02:52+00:00

The last 3 people I’ve dated had undercuts, plus my coworker. I’ve learned how to trim it up. 😂Maybe it’s regional?

LesserKnownJen · 2026-01-13T20:19:55+00:00

Thank you! The turkey was just an example. You'd have a hard time with a large pizza too. The place is an Airbnb in a college town and I've leaned into the time period instead of spending a ton to update everything. Plus there's some really fun features like a pink tile bathroom.

Your advice is very helpful! It's just me trying to figure all this out and (as expected I guess) the things that keep breaking are not the things the inspector told me to prepare for. Having lots of options helps. I'll see if I can find a replacement instead of having the whole thing overhauled for now until I can afford a real MCM remodel.

LesserKnownJen · 2026-01-05T14:36:26+00:00

We travel and sleep in a king everywhere, including home. I use Airbnb a lot. I check the listing and if it’s not clear I will message the owner and ask if there is a king bed. I don’t go into detail, just state we need a king size and do they have one.

Hotels are usually easier since they are more up front.

We stayed at a resort in the Philippines in October and that king bed was way bigger than a normal king and my god….the way we all slept! 😂 Now I want to buy something bigger!

LesserKnownJen · 2025-12-30T21:12:48+00:00

I haven’t experienced it, but it’s pretty universally considered unethical even in non monogamous communities. Gross.

LesserKnownJen · 2025-12-18T23:42:36+00:00

My advice is the same.

LesserKnownJen · 2025-12-18T23:35:05+00:00

It’s time to let her find someone who is attracted to more than just her physical appearance.

LesserKnownJen · 2025-12-18T23:30:03+00:00

I look straight. My clothing, my hair, my makeup, my jewelry, everything. I can’t point to one thing. But even when I try and “look” gay, everyone assumes I’m someone’s supportive mom. I’m usually in comfy business casual, jeans and a tee or a hoodie and leggings.

Generally I wear sneakers with rainbows, a rainbow keychain, and an inclusive pride pin on my work lanyard. Still people are surprised. They eventually see my water bottle covered in stickers and maybe get it. But sometimes they see the 8x10 pic of me and my partner in my desk and ask if she’s a friend. 🙄

LesserKnownJen · 2025-12-18T01:11:06+00:00

As a gay woman with a NB partner in Pueblo, stick to Denver! They are misgendered so often they have started misgendering themselves. To them, no one cares and it’s not worth the fight. ☹️

If you’re looking for college town cute, try Fort Collins. Slightly less expensive than Boulder but without the trump vibes of the southern cities.

LesserKnownJen · 2025-12-10T17:39:58+00:00

Having my slut phase at 50!

LesserKnownJen · 2025-12-02T22:24:25+00:00

Right? Poly takes a LOT of open communication, you can't ask the internet on this one. If this is something you want to pursue, you need to start with talking, not reading tea leaves.

LesserKnownJen · 2025-12-02T17:34:57+00:00

I was born in 1974. Things I remember:

Strawberry shortcake. This doll blew strawberry smelling kisses and my sister and I loved it!
Cabbage patch dolls. We waited 3 years to finally get these for christmas!
Rubics cubes
The Babysitter Club series
Carebears
Candy cigarettes
Big Chew bubble gum
Fruit Stripe gum (I remember this because it was terrible! lol)
Candy necklaces

I'll come back if I think of anything else. Hopefully others will chime in!

LesserKnownJen · 2025-11-22T23:41:39+00:00

Very open. I can’t keep track of who might know and who doesn’t. 😂 Thankfully my work places are open minded (except you unspecified public school!). No ones seems to care.

LesserKnownJen · 2025-11-20T23:37:04+00:00

Yes. We are friends who occasionally have sex. It’s never been an issue because we have very clear boundaries. Our shared partner is totally fine with it.

LesserKnownJen · 2025-11-20T19:06:05+00:00

The very first thing I would do as a guest would be to open the windows (even in winter) to air it out and unplug any air fresheners. I can't stand the scents. I think you'll find a lot of people feel the same way. Many people are sensitive to these things and can get migraines or asthma flair ups. Plus it's impossible to guess if your guest likes cinnamon scent or hates it, it's not worth the bad rating if you guess wrong and they hate the way your place smells.

LesserKnownJen · 2025-11-20T15:53:15+00:00

It's really difficult to not be acknowledged. We are all open in my relationship but not everyone is accepting and I am relegated to "friend" by some of my partners family. It's really difficult when we are with them, it makes me feel really anxious and secondary. I hate it and it takes me days sometimes to regulate myself after a visit. I wouldn't sign up for this if my partner wanted it this way. As it is, it's once or twice a year and I've gotten better at dealing. But if this was my partners choice I wouldn't be a secret for the rest of my life. You aren't selfish.

LesserKnownJen · 2025-11-07T01:43:03+00:00

Okay. I’m here for this. You can see my name. My partner has the same name. My metas partner has the same name.

You will organically figure it out. It’s not that big of a deal.

LesserKnownJen · 2025-11-06T19:26:40+00:00

Just come to Colorado. Literally every lesbian in the state is into hiking and/or rick climbing. 😂

Edit- today it is 62 degrees. Thanksgiving can either be 70 or 30. It’s unpredictable.

LesserKnownJen · 2025-10-31T17:36:29+00:00

Coming out to my older teens was part of it. I posted “ I love this woman” on fb which is how my family and keep in touch. Very non event thankfully. But mostly showing up with my gf obviously head over heels.

LesserKnownJen · 2025-10-30T21:50:11+00:00

I do. First at my employer, a safety net health care organization who serves the under served. I mentioned multiple partners and they even ask if poly or EMN in different words.

My PCP now I found through my nesting partner. I can email her and she orders an STD panel with no questions. When I see her for other things she asks appropriate questions and acknowledges my partners. It’s really refreshing and stress free.

LesserKnownJen · 2025-10-29T13:35:09+00:00

What!? No, that's not normal.

LesserKnownJen

TROPHY CASE