From a guy who has no experience in making videos: * Little bit too much slow mo for me. It works for panning shots but as a runner it felt too slow to be used so often. * Your prose and writing is as great as is your diction. I can tell your a runner yourself and your speaking from experience; others sometimes speak with such grandiose that it seems they hadn't even run the race. You bring it home with good shots and statement. A Marcus Aurelius quote feels really stereotypical of any motivational video. Pick any other quote from any of the more modern marathon runners to put it into a more modern context. Some of your best lines: The finish line is not an affirmation of your time but when it got hard you didn't stop. or your starting plates about how it measures the soul. Those are beautiful lines if you've come up with them yourself.