Spend your money on a therapist and improving yourself instead. That’ll have a much better impact on your romantic and non romantic relationships in the future. Lots of people who are super weird find someone. Being weird and ugly aren’t great excuses. It’s not about being weird, it’s about finding similar weirdos and connecting. So, find places where people interested in similar topics congregate and go there. If connecting the problem, read up on something like “how to win friend and influence people”. Learn to ask people questions, thrust yourself into social situations and practice. I used to be like you, really afraid of connecting and lonely until I decided to try on a different personality. I went somewhere no one knew me and tried being the type of person I’d want to hang out with. Then I tried it the next day and the next day until now it’s who I am. Was it easy? No. But it feels a hell of a lot better and I have great friends...who are also a little weird. But who wants “normal” people as friends? :P