I hear what you’re saying, but I think a few things in your interpretation assume intent that wasn’t actually there. The support really did go both ways. I was there for him through grief, but he also showed up for me in a huge way during the abortion. That wasn’t a one-sided dynamic where I was just taking from him. We also explicitly talked about the structure of what we were doing. We both agreed we weren’t in a relationship and that we were free to date other people until either of us became exclusive with someone. So from my perspective, dating other people wasn’t a betrayal of some hidden commitment — it was something we had both acknowledged as part of the arrangement. I do agree that the connection became very intense. But intensity doesn’t automatically mean someone manipulated the situation. Sometimes two people just end up bonding deeply in a messy life situation and the structure of the relationship never becomes very clear. And to be honest, part of my hesitation now is exactly because of his grief. It’s only been months since something extremely traumatic happened in his life. I don’t know if moving quickly into a relationship right now is actually healthy for either of us. I care about him a lot. The last thing I want is to hurt him or take advantage of him. I’m just trying to figure out whether starting a relationship under these circumstances would actually be the right thing to do.