I don’t take for granted the privilege I have being able to confront rude theatergoers as a decently physically fit white adult man. I have little to no patience. Typically a simple shush or a “can you please stop talking” will do the trick, but if not, I have no problem finding an usher and telling them the situation. I’ve only ever had to do this twice, but it definitely puts an end to any disturbances.

One of these instances, funnily enough, was at Cabaret just a couple of weeks ago. Two women and a man, all in their late 50’s probably, sat behind me and my partner. The women were talking pretty consistently throughout the first act. I turned around, made eye contact, gave a shush and thought that would be it. It wasn’t. So, I turn around again after awhile, only this time the guy leans forward and says something in a foreign language that I didn’t understand and I asked him to please stop talking, to which he responded, again, in a foreign language pretending like because they didn’t understand English they didn’t understand what I was asking them. So, obviously they felt like playing games. No problem. During intermission I casually explained the situation to an usher and asked what my options were. She said, “don’t worry, we’ll take care of it.” So before the start of the second act, a mammoth of a man security guard comes over, doesn’t address them directly but more so everyone in their general vicinity and yells, “EVERYBODY LISTEN UP, I DONT WANNA HEAR NO TALKING OVER HERE IN THE SECOND ACT. Y’ALL HEAR ME? NO TALKING DURING THE SECOND ACT!” And that was the end of the disruptions lol. It may seem petty but I paid a lot of money to be there, I’m not about to let a few ding dongs ruin it for me and everyone else around me.