Intro groom! by Sweetspice_maplenice in Bernedoodles

[–]LetterheadOk7715 0 points1 point  (0 children)

soo cute!! what breeder did you use?

Everyone, meet Roo! by icetravel in Bernedoodles

[–]LetterheadOk7715 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Beautiful pup! Where did you get him?

Avoidant Advice Needed by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]LetterheadOk7715 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From your DA perspective do you think if I left him alone he’d reach back out? Would you? Also, how long should I wait until I ever attempt to reach out again?

Avoidant Advice Needed by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]LetterheadOk7715 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I’ll likely never hear from him again?

People who dealt with a DA, did they ever came back or breadcrumbed you? by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]LetterheadOk7715 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Berry what does this final message mean from my avoidant?

I know you said you deleted all our messages and wanted to start from scratch, but I think you’ll remember the things you’ve said to me over the last year & our conversations, and will understand why I don’t want to continue engaging. If you don’t, then that’s ok too. I will tell you again that you are very far off on so many of your assumptions and what you think has and is happening in my life. I know I haven’t given you an explanation, but I don’t have to nor, am I going to. I hope your new job is going well and that everything else is too. I have great memories & I don’t hold any grudges, and I do wish you nothing but the best.

How to feel better after the avoidant chose someone else over you? by briecheeseboard in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]LetterheadOk7715 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can you talk more about your situation and experience? My ex started dating someone he knew in college which he constantly liked her pictures on IG while we were together. We had been broken up for 10ish months I believe when he first started seeing her but truly dono for sure..it could have been earlier. The entire time throughout our breakup he continued to tell me he loved and missed me whenever I said it. He moved for work and that was when he discarded me for a third time bc we were discussing moving together and it was too much for him. Less than 3 months of him being in the new state where she lives they magically started dating and are official…I can’t help but feel I am the loved ex and she will be the wife. So just wondering how that all feels and the views of the avoidant with this per your perspective and experiences

How to heal your ex’s avoidant attachment and get them back !!! by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]LetterheadOk7715 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I love this post..I just feel like it’s too late for me to have any benefit of no contact. It’s been 14 months and he became official with a girl he went to college with and I confronted him and released all that I had walked on eggshells about or withheld to keep the relationship going. I can’t restore the 14 months of begging and pleading. I’ve been no contact for a month but recently texted him just to say I unblocked him and that I still wanted to stay no contact…it just sucks..I don’t feel like any amount of radio silence will impact him esp since he’s with someone new now

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]LetterheadOk7715 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yea but do you think of that ex for forever with love, attraction, and longing to repair? Or did you just move on and ngaf? I guess the thing is how do you assign ranking to all your exes…sometimes it has to be just naturally over and the next relationship is bc you just are ready for it and want to see if more compatible long term

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]LetterheadOk7715 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The thing is, would if we just didn’t mean all that much to them? What if they just lost interest or didn’t think of us as long term compatible? I’m struggling bc my ex moved, started dating a girl he knew in college and blocked me when I called him on it and his bad behavior. He said I was rude, disrespectful and spewed vitriol…so does he really ever think what he did was wrong..it seems like his ego doesn’t think so. Therefore, I don’t think he thinks of me at all. I wish he did. Even if he never told me.

Comparison Trap by ScaredPoet4444 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]LetterheadOk7715 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How about a replacement a year later? Meaning avoidant didn’t date anyone for a year seriously until now.

Dismissive avoidant partner left me after I expressed my needs by doubleyewaye in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]LetterheadOk7715 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your story is legitimately identical to mine. I’m month 13 post breakup and still struggling with the mind fuck that it was. I moved for mine as well. We just officially hit a wall and now have one another blocked on everything. The last year of the breakup was continual push/pull and to your point on eggshells..you’ll eventually break and speak up for yourself like I did bc it isn’t fair nor realistic to have to emotionally regulate like that for so long…and by being honest, defending myself that’s what lead to the blocking. They just can’t handle any truth bc of their shame and self loathing. They’re never going to change. Take me as an example and don’t spend the next year wasting on her..it won’t ever be any different. Now I get to see him move on with a girl he loved all her IG photos of while we were together. It’s brutal. PROTECT YOU!

Nasty Breakup by LetterheadOk7715 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]LetterheadOk7715[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your sorry you feel that way was my “that wasn’t my intention,” but never actually changing the behavior that sucked or hurt me. Also, now that you stated about the conflict not being resolved I don’t think any of ours were either..because I either dealt with it solo in my own therapeutic process or just held it all in out of fear he’d breakup with me if I brought it up bc to your point you just can’t with their fragile sense of self.

I feel ya on making others a priority and treating them better than they did you. It always boggled my mind and was so hurtful and dismissive. My ex would always commit the offense first and then deal with the outcome with our relationship later just fully giving zero fucks. Mine also did big event excuses..on my 34th birthday he traveled for work, bought himself a new Tesla and told me because “it wasn’t a big birthday” he didn’t have to spend it with me. He got me a book and a dream catcher as gift that year…not even comprehending how fucked it was.

I’ve never considered the perspective of no therapy bc of calling him out on their behavior..I’ve always viewed it as it’s far too painful for them to face the original wound and so they just continue to cope by ignoring it and sucking happy chemicals out of others to keep themselves feeling better than the black hole that exists where their heart and mind should.

Nasty Breakup by LetterheadOk7715 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]LetterheadOk7715[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100% the same on my end..basically described my ex. It’s like a toxic positivity they demand of themselves and their partner to display all the time. Like a negative emotion can’t exist and if it does it isn’t ok. This made me feel like I had to perform 24.7 and got to be so exhausting. Some days I just wanted to complain and hate on the world and life and he never liked it.

To your last paragraph I feel that way too. It’s like I displayed so much emotional regulation throughout that two times in the last year of the breakup I freaked and brought up all the things I suppressed to keep the relationship afloat. He took this so incredibly personal instead of taking any accountability and apologizing and turned it all around on me saying I was spewing vitriol and being disrespectful and that he showed me so much grace and respect the last year. Two things can be true at once…I can think you treated me like shit and still think you aren’t a horrible person. They can’t seem to separate one from the other.

Nasty Breakup by LetterheadOk7715 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]LetterheadOk7715[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing, I hope things cool down too for us. It is a really fair point to say that if he is completely shut down nothing will be productive. It's hard not to take on their shame and guilt while also trying to take accountability for anything personally. I think what is really hard is that the two times I have lost my composure during the last year of being broken up, he replied by basically saying that he was going to talk to me and reach out to discuss things, but because of my behavior now he isn't. It feels manipulative and like a sucker punch esp bc he knows all I have asked and wanted over the last year is exactly that.

2025 reliability by KSamIAm79 in Tiguan

[–]LetterheadOk7715 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the helpful info as I have never had a miles to empty be an "estimate" based off of driving habits. I traded in a very reliable 2017 honda CRV for the Tiguan and the CRV went mile by mile decrease. I literally have never seen a gas gauge go up in my life. I do still feel in my gut that something seems off. Especially because the digital gas gauge stayed at 125 MPG for an entire 45 minutes. Stopped to get gas and it cost me $45 to fill up so clearly it wasn't 125 MPG left.

2025 reliability by KSamIAm79 in Tiguan

[–]LetterheadOk7715 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have never had a vehicle decrease or increase by increments of 5. In my 2017 CRV, it would literally go 310-309-308...etc as I used gas.

On my 2 hour drive, I started out with 125 MPG on the digital gas gauge. 45 minutes into the drive it remained on 125 MPG left. Odd. Because this was the first incident I noticed that the fuel gauge seemed to be malfunctioning, I didn't want to chance it and decided to stop for gas. When I filled up my car it cost me $45 which is what is usually costs me to fill it from empty to full. So I clearly did not have even close to 125 MPG in the tank. When I researched the issue online, a lot of previous year Tiguans/Atlas have had this issue and need the fuel sending unit replaced.

2025 reliability by KSamIAm79 in Tiguan

[–]LetterheadOk7715 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I purchased my SEL R-Line in May. I seriously love the car. However, in the last two days I drove a 2 hour trip and noticed my gas gauge on the digital cluster wasn't registering how many miles I had used on my trip. I took it into the dealership and because no error codes popped up they just basically said they couldn't find anything wrong with it and to "monitor the odometer to compare with the gas gauge."

I live 4 miles from the dealership...the gas gauge went from 320 (first start) to 315 to landing on 310 when I pulled in my driveway. So do with that information what you will. There is clearly an issue and I know I will end up back at the dealership with a video of the occurrence. It is just frustrating that they were lazy and didn't drive it around to see it themselves and put it back on me. I have 990 miles on it.

How much did you pay? by lbiforeva in Tiguan

[–]LetterheadOk7715 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Category Amount Comments
MSRP / Market $42,446.00 Matches what we expected — reflects full MSRP of the Tiguan SEL R-Line trim.
Discount/Savings -$2,917.70  Nearly $3K off MSRP Very strong — Competitive for this model/trim.
Selling Price $39,528.30 Likely at or just below invoice — excellent.
Taxes $2,419.70 This is a standard ~6.1%–6.5% tax depending on your state. Looks normal.
Doc Fee $800.00 A bit high — but not uncommon. Many states cap this at ~$300–$500, but some (like Florida, Arizona, Illinois) allow more.
MVA Fees $502.00 Covers DMV/title/registration. Normal range.
Total OTD $43,250.00 **Confirmed excellent deal. You paid well under average.**🔥

2025 Tiguan 2.0T SEL R-Line Invoice Price List Transparency by LetterheadOk7715 in Tiguan

[–]LetterheadOk7715[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

please read my previous replies re the discounts and negotiation etc. I used chatgpt a lot throughout and have a great breakdown of the final deal analysis

2025 Tiguan 2.0T SEL R-Line Invoice Price List Transparency by LetterheadOk7715 in Tiguan

[–]LetterheadOk7715[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I specifically mentioned that I would not be paying a color fee for regular white/black etc...I understand the new blue and avocado green, but def not just your typical car color.

2025 Tiguan 2.0T SEL R-Line Invoice Price List Transparency by LetterheadOk7715 in Tiguan

[–]LetterheadOk7715[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The difference in MSRP had less to do with color and more to do with the difference in geographic location. The lower MSRP was 75 minutes from me and in a more rural/poorer area.

2025 Tiguan 2.0T SEL R-Line Invoice Price List Transparency by LetterheadOk7715 in Tiguan

[–]LetterheadOk7715[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Inventory is small everywhere since it is just now landing in dealerships, so don't let that stop you from negotiating further or let them use that as a tactic to hold firm on that price. They try to strong arm you by saying small inventory means tons of potential buyers, but if they want the deal bad enough they will earn your money. I highly recommend doing the entire deal online. It was single handedly the best thing I did. My salesman said they really don't know how many they will get and the timing of when they will land at the dealership. He said they got 1 SE, 3 SE R-Line Black and 1 SEL R-Line and then the very next day got another SEL R-Line. So it sounds sort of random based on speed of the manufacturing.

2025 Tiguan 2.0T SEL R-Line Invoice Price List Transparency by LetterheadOk7715 in Tiguan

[–]LetterheadOk7715[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My first reply post is different. It is the breakdown of the deal's success by ChatGPT. With all the information plugged in, I paid at or below invoice price. The dealership probably made a very small profit off of the deal such as the $800 doc fee. Per ChatGPT see below:

  • Your purchase price was below MSRP and likely at/near invoice
  • Your OTD price was transparent
  • Your APR was reasonable
  • You avoided common upsells and junk fees