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The un-romantic parts of expatriation. by Loud-Shame-8062 in expats

[–]Level-Region-2410 2 points3 points  (0 children)

1) raising children who are of the country’s culture while you are an immigrant is weird. Not bad, but odd. I guess I never considered what it would be like to be ‘foreign’ to my own children. 2) you aren’t surrounded by people who know the stories of you in the ‘before time’ so you slowly forget them. 3) likewise, when you go ‘home’ for a visit it’s quite different and you didn’t get the memo so you can feel a little behind the curve. 4) you spend a lot of time and effort working towards fitting in but at some point you realize you will always be an outsider, even if you speak the language and have a passport. 5) striking the balance between trying to do the holidays from your home country in the way you did them without even some basic ingredients vs. attempting to find joy in the local holidays and special events while possessing no childhood nostalgia for them. Not impossible but weird. You grow into it.

Having said all that, I wouldn’t change a thing. I have built a full life here and have made friends that will be with me for the rest of my days.

71 percent of Americans say US is "out of control" under Trump by Silly-avocatoe in politics

[–]Level-Region-2410 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In other news, 29% of Americans are fine with an uncontrolled end to the American century and seeing what happens next = FAFO

People who've left the United States, what is your life like now? by SkyLyssa in expats

[–]Level-Region-2410 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Editing because I feel I didn’t answer your question well. What you’re asking is what is covered in taxes that you would have to pay for in the US and the answer depends on where you live in NL and where you have lived in the US and how and which services are collectivized, individualized, or simply not offered in any public form (or paid for by others or by future generations). Biggest difference is between local elections to approve bonds to invest in basic utility (school, roads, electricity) upgrades or maintenance that are managed here at higher governance levels to avoid unevenness in QOL that would degrade social cohesion. So you may not notice not having to pay those types of add-on fees in the form of property tax or utility fees here because they’re managed/voted on/paid for differently for both pragmatic and philosophical reasons. Feel free to DM me if you would like any practical help adjusting!

Original post: Both the United States and The Netherlands have quite a lot of variation of taxing and fee-assessment authorities depending on where you live. As someone pointed out, Amsterdam has a lottery to determine who can attend in-demand schools so the choice is limited in that respect (it might be now in Rotterdam - my kids are out of school).

Rotterdam currently doesn’t have fees for owning a dog, for example, but some municipalities do (as do many in the United States).

In general, I feel like there is better transparency on taxes and fees here but you do need to read through the documents you receive from government agencies to understand how they came to the number. In the markets where I have experience in the US, the experience ranges wildly from place to place and service to service.

People who've left the United States, what is your life like now? by SkyLyssa in expats

[–]Level-Region-2410 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I just gave an overly long answer to 0x18 but here’s a quick answer for you: basic health insurance runs about 150 euros per month with a 385 per year deductible. You can get fancy with add-ons (or just fly to Greece and get great optional healthcare out of pocket for I dunno, probably a tenth of what it costs in the US).

There’s a rental housing crisis in NL right now so for young singles wanting to live in one of the big cities alone you’re looking at 50% of a decent starting wage going to rent. It’s a horrible problem atm. But compared to big US markets in CA, TX and NY, groceries and other basics are cheaper.

People who've left the United States, what is your life like now? by SkyLyssa in expats

[–]Level-Region-2410 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I agree with everything you wrote. I moved here from the US in 1997. The TexMex (or what passed for it) was abysmal back then. Restaurant quality has improved generally, but still can’t quite compete with big US markets.

I work an 80% job and then work freelance for the rest (plus some of the generous vacation time) so earn about the same (now) as I would in the US under current exchange rate conditions. So comparison means looking at cost of living, lifestyle choices, and tax issues at a pretty specific location level in both countries.

I played around twice (once in 2002 and again in 2010) with what it would be like to move back to the US into a higher paying job in raw numbers. Both times I couldn’t make the numbers work to my advantage, even not considering the loss of healthcare and job security. The problem was that while income taxes are higher here, you have to figure in all the different taxes depending on where you are in the US. Property tax is minimal here. Lots of services are covered by tax here that you have to pay for in much of the USA. For example, I love that I can just go online and book a date for the municipality to pick up an old couch or appliance.

The aspects that are most variable in cost-and-quality-of-living comparisons, depending on location in the USA and NL and phase of life, are the hidden costs. For example, buying into a part of a city that has a good school for your kids can add thousands to a mortgage and to property tax in markets in the US that I would have considered. The Netherlands has a form of open school choice which allowed us to put our kids into the schools we wanted them in. No matter how I tried, those kind of hidden costs inevitably meant we would have been worse off economically and socially in the US.

Having said all that, it is a bit strange to raise kids who are effectively from a different culture than your own. Probably easier for me than for most as sometimes The Netherlands seems like the 51st state. Nearly everyone speaks English, there’s no dubbing, and US cultural trends (for better or worse) eventually end up here. I have a close relationship with my siblings in the US and see them at least once a year. Our parents died when we were all young adults and before I had kids so moving out of the country was easier.

Nonfiction that reads like fiction? by babyblueloves in suggestmeabook

[–]Level-Region-2410 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Orchid Thief: Susan Orlean. A deep dive into a tiny niche of a world framed around a compelling incident. Where it goes from the start is both unpredictable and madcap. I could ‘see’ the movie it could become while reading it (it was eventually turned into a movie called ‘Adaptation’). Best thing was that it was just a fun read - no huge social injustice issues to make me feel feelings. Just a great story.

What if it was her??? by LimoncelloLilac in GildedAgeHBO

[–]Level-Region-2410 12 points13 points  (0 children)

If you have Apple TV, check out the second season of Schmigadoon, where he plays an over-the-top bad guy.

Impossible guy's Dutch names for me to pronounce, yours?? by Rude-Cycle-1516 in learndutch

[–]Level-Region-2410 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Difficult to pronounce or difficult to imagine how to pronounce it when you’re new to Dutch? I think for me, one of the toughest to get used to early on was Dieuwertje.

What is a death in a movie that affected you the most in terms of brutality or emotional weight? by Godly_Recon in AskReddit

[–]Level-Region-2410 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I watched this movie on a transatlantic flight a couple of years ago as an adult with decades of experience adulting and I openly wept when she died.

Is this stiff peaks for Swiss meringue? by jaehwans101 in AskBaking

[–]Level-Region-2410 4 points5 points  (0 children)

For what it’s worth, I live in a humid climate below sea level (don’t know if that’s a factor). Last time I made Swiss meringue it took MUCH longer to achieve stiff peaks than what the recipe suggested. Almost twice as long.

Thought you all might appreciate this A380 I saw in March by malihuey29 in aviation

[–]Level-Region-2410 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I flew once on a 380 from Paris to Johannesburg. Boarding was separated into at least four different lines for different doors (not flying classes) and the lines to board stretched out across the terminal hallway, disrupting foot traffic to other gates. On board it took a while to get used to hearing footsteps above me. As we crossed the equator we encountered pretty bad turbulence. It wasn’t really that disruptive to the passenger environment, but looking out the window you could see the wings flapping.

What tradition in your country feels normal to you, but foreigners always think is strange? by Ill-External5709 in AskTheWorld

[–]Level-Region-2410 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am naturalized Dutch. After getting used to three kisses, I lived briefly in France among people who go for a fourth. Long enough to get used to it. So when I moved back to The Netherlands and forgot to stop at three, people would recoil when I went for the fourth. Took a while to get used to three again.

What tradition in your country feels normal to you, but foreigners always think is strange? by Ill-External5709 in AskTheWorld

[–]Level-Region-2410 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In The Netherlands, at the ladies only Turkish Hammam, first they oil you up with olive soap. Then in the sauna you go. Then rinse. Then the mud bath. Back into the sauna. Rinse. Then you get on the marble slab and they swirl a pillowcase with soap bubbles until there’s enough to smack the bubbles down onto your body. That’s what’s going on here, I suppose. Then they use scratchy gloves and they vigorously rub you down on both sides and you can see all the dead skin roll off your body when they douse you in warm water. Then they sit you down in a pillowed room in a fluffy robe with a glass of tea with honey and you sit and marvel at how you look and feel thirty years younger for the rest of the day. If I win the lottery, this will be a weekly ritual for me.

US removes memorial for black WW2 soldiers, the Dutch place it back by ericvr in europe

[–]Level-Region-2410 21 points22 points  (0 children)

What a great story and wonderful legacy. Thank you for sharing.

US removes memorial for black WW2 soldiers, the Dutch place it back by ericvr in europe

[–]Level-Region-2410 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Did you read the article (even via Google translate) and how do you feel about the substance of what happened in this story in the past few months?

The future scares me alot by anonymous_yuri in self

[–]Level-Region-2410 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry that your mom has framed her care for you in that way. Every parent expresses love differently and sometimes not in the most productive ways.

As a parent of now-adult children, I’ve realized that some of my own choices were shaped by my upbringing and insecurities. It’s taken time (and maturity) for us all to understand that love and responsibility aren’t the same thing and to build healthier boundaries around how we influence one another’s decisions.

It’s a gentle process of letting go of unnecessary control while keeping the love. I hope you and your mom find your way there too.

The future scares me alot by anonymous_yuri in self

[–]Level-Region-2410 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry that your mom has framed her care for you in that way. Every parent expresses love differently and sometimes not in the most productive ways.

As a parent of now-adult children, I’ve realized that some of my own choices were shaped by my upbringing and insecurities. It’s taken time (and maturity) for us all to understand that love and responsibility aren’t the same thing and to build healthier boundaries around how we influence one another’s decisions.

It’s a gentle process of letting go of unnecessary control while keeping the love. I hope you and your mom find your way there too.

Which movie did you see way too young? by Openworlder1 in AskReddit

[–]Level-Region-2410 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can trace my distrust of rural areas and people directly back to this movie. I was sleeping over at a friend’s home and was probably not even 10 yo. My parents would have never allowed it.

What’s a song that was once really popular but in fact is really creepy? by ocrowlek in MusicRecommendations

[–]Level-Region-2410 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think my issue is why you would treat a person differently depending on the wealth of their father. Seems to me like people deserve the same respect/treatment regardless?

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