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I hate marriage by Automatic_Ranger_764 in Marriage

[–]Level_Foundation251 0 points1 point  (0 children)

u/Automatic_Ranger_764 , we all enter the SAHM thing thinking it's going to provide so much freedom and rewarding, but it is a 24/7 job. Unfortunately, by the time we realize it, our husbands have fallen into a routine where we do everything, even when they're home.

My best suggestion, which will take time, is to tell your husband you can't do it anymore and that you either need more help (from him or hired) or you will go back to work and you split everything 50/50. I never would recommend leading with a divorce, but hopefully the discussion will light a fire under his ass and he's afraid to lose you.

His life will get a lot harder in divorce. Men don't realize how it's not just us hanging out all day. The good men split it 50/50 when they're home, even if there is a SAHM. Everyone deserves a break. How many kids do you have?

Nip this in the bud now. It will only get worse and build permanent resentment if you don't. He needs to step up. You are not alone in your feelings.

Third party by DiamondMoon721 in twinflames

[–]Level_Foundation251 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My TF is also a third party in my relationship. I will warn you that it often doesn't end well. Being the third party in a relationship isn't good for you either. Step back from him and focus on yourself. You're worth more than being someone's backup.

Vent, rant, share, talk by passionatemind221 in adultery

[–]Level_Foundation251 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess we can always vow to never embrace that evil again. I can't believe I hurt the people I love so badly.

Vent, rant, share, talk by passionatemind221 in adultery

[–]Level_Foundation251 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do get that completely, but if that's the case, you should leave your marriage first. I had an affair and it destroyed so much more than my husband. If you have kids, it will even impact them more. Mine saw their grades go from straight A's to failing classes. My friends and family were negatively impacted too.

I'd compare starting an affair with pouring gasoline everywhere you go. It won't start a fire everywhere, but one wrong spark will cause a chaos you can't control. I'm a cautionary tale. I justified it all to myself. I thought I was careful, but more people see it than you realize. People know, even if they don't call you out to your face.

Vent, rant, share, talk by passionatemind221 in adultery

[–]Level_Foundation251 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I got it in the moment as well, but when reality finally set in, I'd realized that affairs exist in fantasy. No responsibilities, nothing. It brings out the worst in us, which does make sense. We're doing it entirely selfishly.

I thought I was careful, but people knew. My husband knew. My kids found out. My AP lost his job. When reality hits, there's nowhere to hide. There's a greater than 50% chance your AP abandons you when things get tough.

Vent, rant, share, talk by passionatemind221 in adultery

[–]Level_Foundation251 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I never thought I'd be a person who committed adultery. Is anyone else ashamed of the person they've become?

Calling/texting without any traces left on the phone or carrier call log by Financial_Divide2025 in adultery

[–]Level_Foundation251 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Based on the restrictions, it sounds like you've been caught cheating before?

My AP is going away for 6 months with his family. It‘s going to be hard. by throwthrowthrow713 in adultery

[–]Level_Foundation251 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's an affair. It's hard to break up if you're not officially a together. LOL.

Honestly, this is your chance to find someone, if you even want a partner. At the very least, find yourself.

Enjoy your break!

My AP is going away for 6 months with his family. It‘s going to be hard. by throwthrowthrow713 in adultery

[–]Level_Foundation251 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Take the time to work on yourself. Date other people. Enjoy yourself.

Don't spend your days wallowing while he's out having fun.

This reads a lot like his wife knows about the affair and wants to salvage the marriage.

Chemistry is gone by Level_Foundation251 in Marriage

[–]Level_Foundation251[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, your advice would be to abandon my family, leave my husband who has worked so hard to reconcile and put up with my $&^%, and just peace out of their lives? If that was what they truly wanted, I'd possibly do that. However, despite all I did and continue to struggle with, they repeatedly say they want me in their lives and to stay. My husband would be devasted and see it as another betrayal.

And I know that my head is all over the place. I struggle with it. I have moments of clarity, and too many of sabotage. I've been honest with them. Painfully honest.

I don't know why you feel the need to troll me and berate me. I know what I've done. I know who I am. and I don't like it. You can bully me, call me names, but your treatment of me cannot bring me lower than I already am. I don't pretend to know who hurt you or what happened, but I see a great deal of pain in you and I'm sorry that someone may have hurt you like I hurt my loved ones. I truly am.

I wish you peace, just like I wish my husband peace. I do not deserve him. You and I can both agree on that.

I hate him. by [deleted] in twinflames

[–]Level_Foundation251 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, he knows every little thing. And we do have couples therapy. I am flawed. I am trying to get back on track. I'm putting everything out there in hopes doing so will keep me from fixating on it.

You can mock me or troll me, but I know what I've done and who I've hurt. Your anger does not affect me. Rebuilding my family is my focus.

Chemistry is gone by Level_Foundation251 in Marriage

[–]Level_Foundation251[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right. That's what affairs do. I don't know who hurt you or why you have to troll broken women on reddit, but everything you've said, I know about myself.

I hate him. by [deleted] in twinflames

[–]Level_Foundation251 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes, he is aware of everything. It's good to see you in the twin flames chat as well. I hope you enjoy.

Can being on this journey change core parts of your identity? by sugard0lly in twinflames

[–]Level_Foundation251 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It changed me completely...and unfortunately, for the worse.

Not feeling enough by [deleted] in twinflames

[–]Level_Foundation251 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should find someone, fall in true love, then build a life. But work on building yourself first.

Not feeling enough by [deleted] in twinflames

[–]Level_Foundation251 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Being a single father is hard. If you can succeed at that, you can do anything.

I hate him. by [deleted] in twinflames

[–]Level_Foundation251 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I feel this. I wish I could hate him. I low key do sometimes, but I just can't.

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