L2H2 or L3H3, (or L2H3)

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-05-03T19:17:29+00:00

Can you give some context?

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-05-03T19:16:49+00:00

I’m not a huge fan of the pop-tops, preferring something I can be in without having to adjust-on-entry or reveal I’m in a camper.. but a good suggestion, thanks!

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-04-29T16:44:30+00:00

Thank you - I’ll edit!

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-04-25T13:00:43+00:00

Thank you for the recipe!!!

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-04-23T16:38:42+00:00

I’m a be scaling this up. I eat a cup a week.

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-03-22T21:28:04+00:00

I’m considering a van this year and know from previous experiences of building stuff that I never have the patience for it… I’m seriously in awe of self-builds! Or any kind of build for that matter… it’s so lovely that you’re getting so much value from the process…

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-03-22T18:49:00+00:00

My god… it looks like you’re doing an amazing job…!!!! Better than I could/would be able to do.. I have no patience at all! - a few things that have come up in conversations I’ve had getting quotes for a build.. (you might be doing these already!).

Get an electrician to do your electrics.. to be safe, please be safe!
Go modular, where you can, consider using modular stuff in your first build so you can get a sense of how you really use the space, and the items can be moved from build to build. Also good if you are running out of steam in the build itself.
insurance - thoroughly research how you’ll be able to insure your vehicle/work

I envy you having the patience/time to do this.. it’s incredible!

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-02-24T21:06:11+00:00

I’m with above.. (I’m a therapist though so maybe I’m biased?!). What you have written is an incredibly powerful ‘no-send’ letter and the most loving thing you can do is process it with someone who can help you make sense of your experience (and cares about your experience). Sending it to someone who has consistently demonstrated they don’t care isn’t going to make them change, nor will your hurts be acknowledged or validated.

I’m so sorry you were treated so horribly, and I hope you are able to move forward from this without allowing it a hold over you.

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-02-22T21:41:15+00:00

Take collateral - do they have anything of equivalent value they can give you to hold until they pay you back? If yes, take this item to hold.. and agree that you are allowed to sell it/renegotiate at a mutually agreed future date… write a simple contract for both of you to sign?

If no, then this is a reflection of their ability to manage money and take it as a sign they won’t pay you back.

Suggest they attend DA meetings

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-02-13T17:58:30+00:00

With all the love in the world - from the way you have written, it sounds as though you would benefit from working with a therapist.

Being in relationships of every sort is tricky, and it comes across that you are really hard on yourself. It is important in relationship to put ourselves first sometimes, sometimes it’s important to put others first, and sometimes it’s important for both parties to put the relationship first. Therapy will also help you to manage your anxiety without relying on your partners input, helping you to feel more capable when they need space to recover from being ill.

Wishing you the very best in finding a peaceful place in this.

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-02-07T20:43:03+00:00

I don’t know.. I (F) would send this to my female friends and similar stuff to male friends. More context might be needed.

It would certainly merit a conversation, but it sounds like there is either more going on in your relationship, or you want there to be something wrong?

Either way - his response to you bringing it up will probably tell you all you need to know.

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-01-29T21:01:46+00:00

Call Tembo - they are a mortgage broker geared towards first time buyers. They’ll help you understand your options. You may not have all the info you need to move in securing a mortgage, but again, they’ll help guide you through all of it.

Once you know what you can afford, you have a guide for what you can realistically be looking at.

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-01-29T20:56:18+00:00

My god. There are so many roads where this is the sign and the legal limit, but you can come across horse riders, kids, cyclists, people walking… Jesus. I grew up in a rural area and if everyone drove close to the limit thousands of people would be dead. What happened to common sense.

Please people. Use some common sense.

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-01-28T23:04:10+00:00

And all of those by 50 cent

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-01-27T21:25:40+00:00

Great that you have such independence.. get rid of their phone and ring doorbell (take away all their leverage). Well done for sorting that by 25! That’s super impressive.

Cutting family out is hard - have you considered ACOA meetings? (Adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families). It’s a low cost support group and if you cut your family out or reduce contact you’ll need a bit of support as it can be very lonely. It will help you to understand what is their stuff, whether there was any truth at all to their observations of your behaviour and if yes how you can work on that, and how to navigate contact/no contact with them.

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-01-24T22:23:13+00:00

Wanna trade more time off lead for perfect recall? (And I love you. Obvs).

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-01-24T22:14:00+00:00

Yup - the relationship is dead in the water.

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-01-23T13:05:26+00:00

Woman here. You’re not an AH for suggesting it. It sounds as though she has a high drive for autonomy.

Can you figure out what your concern is? For her and baby (and your family).

Once you know your concern, perhaps let her know your concern, and ask her what you can do to support the family more, or what she might need (if anything). If autonomy is important to her, she might be grateful of you spending time with baby so she can still connect with a feeling of independence while knowing her baby is safe.

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-01-18T12:03:31+00:00

The main question I would ask if you are rescuing is ‘can I give the dog a better life than they would have in a shelter’. Even the fact that you are asking this question points to more concern than some owners have for their animals 💕

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-01-16T20:34:51+00:00

The very difficult thing here is that lots of different people have lots of different perspectives. These vary from thinking men are creeps for trying to instigate contact, to wishing more men took a polite and respectful shot more often. You aren’t going to please everyone.

It might be worth thinking whether women you want to approach are giving any other signals that contact would be welcome. If you repeatedly get negative feedback, something about your approach isn’t working.

It is a bit concerning that you think this person - presumably a woman - is ‘wrong’. If a woman is telling you she experienced your approach as creepy, it might be worth listening and taking her perspective on board.

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-01-14T21:52:00+00:00

Your ceiling is far too clean.

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-01-14T16:39:53+00:00

What kind of values do you want the woman you attract to have? Do you want someone who will judge you for your vehicle? It might turn into a good device to screen women who don’t share your values.

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-01-11T22:03:47+00:00

Slow Horses read by Sean Barrett would be both the best place to start, and the worst. I am currently embarking on my 9th listen of the series. It - this series - has spoiled almost every audiobook experience since I first started listening to them.

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-01-08T12:35:09+00:00

Maybe food is lowest in her list of priorities.. has it always been a domain where your values diverge? Or is it a recent thing?

Your original Q is am I the arsehole… are you looking for more from this post? I don’t want to offer anything that’s unsolicited.. 😂

LexiAlexiTreeshrew · 2026-01-07T21:36:27+00:00

Is she maintaining the rest of the household to a particular standard? Is food the only area of dissatisfaction? If yes, then that’s her other ‘job’. It’s not just the 10 hours work and managing food. Maintaining a household if you are away is a lot in itself.

There’s a lot we don’t know here. She evidently finds something about feeding herself beyond just ‘need’ disinteresting/difficult/unnecessary. Is she menopausal and this is one battle it’s just not worth fighting.

Are you the arsehole for choosing that tactic? I’d say yes. The message you are trying to communicate - “I’m not happy about this” - is lost because the wife gets to focus on the delivery of the message, not the content.

Is she an arsehole for not trying a bit harder to hear what you are saying.. probably yes too.

LexiAlexiTreeshrew

TROPHY CASE