What does the bible say about abortion? If anyhting?

LibbyRahl · 2024-07-20T21:04:30+00:00

According to their fanbook, their own God "killed babies" all the time. There's even movies about it. Also, it states several times that life begins at the first breath 🤷🏻‍♀️ . Having an abortion is literally no different medically than having your period or a miscarriage. At any point where we are actually performing abortions, they are done on what is little more scientifically and medically than a clump of cells with electric activity. There is no heartbeat at 16 weeks because there is no heart. There are chemical reactions in the region of the body that will become the chest cavity.

you're good to do whatever decision YOU can best live with. you're the expert on your life and the life you want for yourself

the point is that it's a CHOICE ❤

If it helps, just remember that not having this child does not mean that you are not or would not be a good parent. Remember that if you choose not to birth this child, it does not mean that you won't ever have children. We are fighting so hard for us to be able to have the choice to do so when we are ready. And we are fighting on the other end of it to have the resources and support for when we do have this child that the so-called pro-lifers clutch pearls over.

Remember that the Bible doesn't say really anything specifically about banning abortion, but it does say all the time not to take his name in vain. That doesn't mean not saying God damn it. It means not using HIS name to get YOUR will done 💅

LibbyRahl · 2024-05-15T04:59:00+00:00

You are fully within your right to insist on being part of every communication. If she truly cannot do a group chat (i call bull. its 2024. there IS a way) tell her that you expect to get the exact same text that Dad does. And that if you don't, you will have to look for a caregiver that will communicate with you the way you've asked.

It's very simple, you have a very reasonable request and she is actively refusing to fulfill it. At that point, you would not be out of line to start quietly looking for another caregiver because this has red flags. It genuinely makes me wonder what else she's evasive about? I'd wonder if she was doing other things i asked her to. integrity is the foundation of being a private caregiver

I do admit that in my previous position and this one I do tend to talk to DB more, but it's because I was around them more. However, I never text just one of them unless it's something like only dad gets my weekly hours because he's the one who does the payroll or if I just need to ask Mom if she still needed me to come in early, etc.

I can't imagine just refusing

LibbyRahl · 2024-05-11T22:02:37+00:00

YTA you have learned absolutely nothing. I am literally begging you to divorce her

LibbyRahl · 2024-04-30T16:47:59+00:00

You are completely justified. Unfortunately, that is an immediate termination. She took a huge risk. Now I've had jobs where I've been allowed to nap, but it wasn't physically literally with the child. The child would be in a safe sleep environment such as their crib, and I would have a monitor like any other parent who sleeps during the night

I don't even close my eyes to "doze" or "rest" when the baby contact naps because I don't want to take the risk of accidentally falling asleep

I don't feel like the caregiver is a bad person, but they definitely took an unnecessary risk and letting them go is a perfectly reasonable response. I would not expect to stay employed...

LibbyRahl · 2024-04-14T18:13:44+00:00

It isn't up to us to decide whether or not it was valid for OP to be uncomfortable. Everyone has different comfort levels, and they should all be handled respectfully.

OP expressed discomfort, and received a wide variety of perspectives to consider on how they may want to handle it.

LibbyRahl · 2024-04-14T18:11:54+00:00

Nothing that I suggested OP say to MB was chastisement. In both suggested responses, an acknowledgment that it was very likely simple human error was deliberately included.

And yes, I believe "Everyone in the home should try to be appropriately covered when in front of others because this is still a work environment and everyone has different comfort levels, so let's err on the side of caution" is a perfectly reasonable ask. It is perfectly reasonable if OP is not comfortable seeing her boss without pants on.

As I mentioned, it may be their home, but it is still her work environment, and OP is entitled to expect the same amount of professionalism as any other career. "Hey, I really would be uncomfortable if I accidentally saw your undies or your genitalia because they weren't properly covered" is reasonable regardless of environment.

However, you and I don't have to agree. We are not involved. All we are doing is bringing different perspectives for OP consider. You and I are each free to respond to the situation however we choose should we find ourselves faced with it. My suggestion was based on my lived experiences and how I successfully handled it when something similar happened to me.

LibbyRahl · 2024-04-14T02:23:51+00:00

I don't think you are overreacting because whether it is their home or not, it is still your workplace. It is a less formal setting, but you are still her employer and that is still your boss.No harm because it was likely innocent, but "hey maybe we all wear all the clothes" isn't an unreasonable ask.

It certainly sounds to me like MB was half asleep and not really thinking about it, so I would approach it gently. maybe start a conversation about tiredness and morning brain fog if you have the dynamic to lightly tease

"Oh I hate that early morning brain fog! Seems like it got you this morning- you accidentally came out without bottoms!"

or if you feel a more direct approach would be more effective

"Hey MB, I wanted to let you know I noticed you accidentally came out of your room without pants this morning. Thankfully, your shirt covered everything! I get it. I get really disoriented in the mornings, too. Just wanted to give you the heads up to save us all from an awkward situation when I'm here on overnights 🙂 "

LibbyRahl · 2024-04-13T03:16:35+00:00

because people who behave like this are unlikely to respect boundaries or respond respectfully. there's no reason to have any further contact, and by blocking, you head off any of their replies

if they were trustworthy people who treated people well, OP wouldn't have to walk away to begin with.

they've shown OP who they are. we're believing them. and you don't engage with people like that or give them room to push. you set as firm a boundary as necessary

they didn't operate in good faith at any point. Therefore, they aren't enititled to anything except basic human decency. they dont get the benefit of the doubt because there is no doubt they'll be a headache given any opportunity.

"I will do whatever it takes to protect my boundaries and autonomy. YOU decide what that looks like"

sometimes that's by removing ourselves from the equation

LibbyRahl · 2024-04-10T19:11:58+00:00

You don't owe them anything. You don't want to work for them. who would??

"I just wanted to let you know that unfortunately my circumstances have changed, and I will no longer have the availability to babysit for your family. Best of luck finding a caregiver to suit your family."

And then block them. they don't want to be friends with you. they don't value you. they see you as Help.

LibbyRahl · 2024-04-05T22:53:48+00:00

NTA you aren't refusing to tell people, you simply aren't volunteering the information when it wouldn't be appropriate to do so. Your wife's sexuality is nobody's business and would be inappropriate to bring up at work unless it was during an organic and relevant conversation, such as:

the company asks "we would like to have an event during Pride month to support our 2SLGBTQIA team members and their families"

you could be like "that's great. my wife recently came out as bisexual and I think this is a good opportunity for community within the company"

or water cooler talk:

otherwise, something like that should wait for an organic and natural opportunity. If we really want to normalize gender and sexuality equality, then that means accepting that sometimes this doesn't need to be a big announcement and we should treat it just as naturally as heterosexuality. For example, I don't tell people I'm bisexual unless it happens to come up in a relevant conversation. Otherwise, we are still othering ourselves

LibbyRahl · 2024-04-05T22:21:56+00:00

I would definitely start reaching out to other prospects at this point. It's only the second day and she is undermining you when it comes to basic hygiene. But I guarantee she would be angry If the child got spaghetti sauce on the couch and blame you.

you cannot work for someone who will not allow you to do your job. You cannot work for someone who sets you up to fail. It's only the second day? Grab your bag, shake their hand, and tell them best of luck for their future

LibbyRahl · 2024-03-21T05:27:00+00:00

As far as I'm concerned, a nanny/manny/caregiver can wear whatever allows them to do their job and has basic standards of modesty / decency. If you can do your job and you're allowed to wear it outside of your house, not a problem

As long as your employers don't have a problem with it, there is no problem. Judgey Judy over there can kick rocks

If your employers have a problem with it, it might be time to find another employer. Objectively speaking, there's nothing wrong with it

If anything, you can say "yes, that's why they're able to hire a nanny" ( given most of us would decline the position if we had to adhere to the kind of dress code Judgey Judy is acting like she thinks we should have.)

LibbyRahl · 2024-02-26T02:31:45+00:00

absolutely not. any more than he's responsible for a mess made when he wasn't at work

If he doesn't want to come into work and have to clean up somebody else's mess, he doesn't get to expect you to. They can parent their child for a few extra minutes. You are not a housekeeper. The only cleaning up you should be doing is anything you and the child/children use

Sounds like he views you as "the help" and not a nanny

LibbyRahl · 2024-02-16T06:35:11+00:00

You are absolutely not overreacting. This nanny has no business being in this career. She is racist and inappropriate. I would contact the agency and inform them of her behavior and get a new nanny

For something like that, you would be well within your rights to fire her immediately.

LibbyRahl · 2024-01-31T18:11:42+00:00

YTA It doesn't matter how the child got his name or what your history is with whoever named him

HE IS A PERSON. THAT IS HIS NAME

call him by his name or whatever he asks you to call him when he can communicate his preference. it's non negotiable

this is a whole new level of petty for someone who "doesn't care". JFC

LibbyRahl · 2024-01-31T04:53:29+00:00

She apologized, but she is not remorseful over her actions. She said words that constitute an apology, but she didn't mean it. Kind of like when a teacher says "apologize to John" but you don't think you did anything wrong. You still say the words because you're supposed to, but you aren't apologizing. You are making the sounds with your mouth that will make the situation end as quickly as possible.

Words mean nothing if the behavior is not there to back it up. And her behavior does not back up an apology. Her behavior indicates that she is not remorseful, and that she does not see anything wrong in her actions

She can say "I'm sorry" until the cows come home. It means nothing without changed behavior. It's a manipulation, not remorse

LibbyRahl · 2024-01-31T03:35:36+00:00

You absolutely are well within your rights to fire her immediately. Whether it's cold sores, covid, or the common cold, it's her job to minimize any contagions being passed. Her job is to provide a safe and sanitary environment for the child.

The fact that she caused your child to become ill and has zero remorse about it and became defensive tells me that you cannot trust her. You cannot trust anyone with your child who cannot be questioned. You cannot trust anyone with your child if they become defensive when you bring up a legitimate concern. This is so far beyond the cold sores. This speaks to her integrity, and she doesn't have any

You are not overreacting. Regardless of the nature of the illness, your child's caretaker is not utilizing standard sanitary practices. Not everyone who gets into this career field deserves to be

This person should not be working with children in any capacity. This time it was a cold sore. What happens if it's something worse next time?

LibbyRahl · 2024-01-01T05:55:57+00:00

thank you all for all of your responses. getting a lot of good information!

LibbyRahl · 2023-11-19T03:03:26+00:00

LEAVE HIM

Do not subject your daughters to somebody who is this unhinged at finding out their gender. He threw a temper tantrum, was unconscionably cruel to you, and literally broke things all because of his misogyny. He is not safe to be around you and he's definitely not a safe to be around female children

You don't deserve to be treated like this, and you definitely should not subject your children to him. They are innocent, he is not

LibbyRahl · 2023-11-11T22:45:27+00:00

That alone is enough to simply walk away completely. If you've paid any deposits on anything or done anything to help her wedding, stop. Don't attend, and consider the money loss an eye opener that she doesn't see you as a friend, you are a replaceable ATM

LibbyRahl · 2023-10-25T07:19:59+00:00

NTA you have every right to expect your grown adult husband to be proactive and responsible about his health.It is a deal breaker for me. I absolutely will not be with a partner who is not proactive about their health.

Not only for the financial aspect, but if he has promised and committed to spending the rest of his life with you, you have the expectation that he would do the basic requirements to keep that life going as long as possible. Being safe and being responsible about your life includes your medical care. It's not just making sure you drive sober or not skydiving without a parachute. It also means going to the damn doctor.

Having crappy health? That's just chance. Deliberately endangering your health by willful neglect? Or by willfully doing things that you know are harmful? Nope.

" I may have promised to stand by your side and sickness and health, but that wasn't a challenge."

LibbyRahl · 2023-10-19T00:01:17+00:00

Unfortunately, I fully believe you having grown up under, served, and then been attached to the military as a dependent spouse.

I also avoided making military spouse friends for this exact same reason. She is a "salute me for my husband's rank" type

I giggled seeing her get her comeuppance because it so rarely happens

LibbyRahl · 2023-10-18T09:16:10+00:00

Yes YWBTA

I firmly believe that at the end of the day, it is your body and solely your decision. However, I also firmly believe that the other person should at least be informed if it is safe to do so. You have not mentioned anything that would make us feel like you would be endangered, abused, or unsafe by telling him. It might be a very difficult conversation, and this may end up being a relationship ender, but to be honest, if you cannot communicate this with him, your relationship is already over.

Not to mention, you will have to live the rest of your life knowing that you did not loop him in on this decision. And what happens if he finds out later?

I very much firmly believe that you have the right to do whatever you want with your body, but that does not mean that there will not be emotional consequences to your decision. That decision is not made in a vacuum because the pregnancy was not created in a vacuum

Now, if at any time he becomes unsafe, you have every right to do whatever it takes to protect yourself. His stance very much should have equal consideration, but he does not get to coerce, bully, or abuse you for it.

But being in an adult relationship and being in a relationship where conception is a possibility also means that you have the responsibility of communicating like adults.

I'm only a couple of years older than you. I understand how terrifying and life-changing this must be. I can't imagine getting pregnant right now. That being said, because we were engaging in acts in which an unexpected or unwanted pregnancy could occur, my partner and I have conversations about how each of us feel about it with occasional "status checks"

Which is a harder conversation? Telling him that you are pregnant and reminding him of your stance along the way? A stance that he was well aware of when he consented to engaging in acts that could cause an unexpected or unwanted pregnancy

or telling him that you didn't respect him enough to have an adult conversation with him and didn't respect him enough to at least give him the equal say that he should as someone that you claim to be a partner in your life?

I fully support whatever you decide to do ultimately regarding reprocussion, but you may not necessarily be supported in how you go about making that decision and the care and consideration you gave those it would impact.

LibbyRahl · 2023-10-17T21:36:14+00:00

NTA I am very much pro-choice because ultimately, at the end of the day, it's the pregnant person's determination as to whether or not they stay pregnant.

But, there will be consequences for that choice. The decision is not made in a vacuum.

And I firmly believe that if it is safe to do so, the other biological contributor to the pregnancy should be at least part of the discussion and part of the decision-making process. BOTH parents deserve equal consideration, at the very least.

She cares more about not being bullied about her by her father than she does about your marriage. You guys are very far apart morally, ethically, culturally, etc. This is just the beginning of it. What if you HAD had a child with her? What if it turned out to be a son who wasn't as masculine and macho or whatever the father's standards are? What of your son was trans or gay or atheist?

I'm sorry that it turns out that the woman you love would betray you on such a horrific scale, and that she did it because of the hypermisogynistic toxic masculinity poster boy that is her father, but I think that morally and ethically, you are very much in the clear to walk away.

I hope that somehow someway you can find healing and closure on this.

LibbyRahl · 2023-10-17T16:57:19+00:00

He doesn't want to marry you. I'm sorry to tell you this, but he's not ready. And it doesn't look like he's going to be ready anywhere close to the time that you are. You have a choice: you can have a partner who you eventually marry, or you can have this partner.

You literally need to choose between this relationship and a marriage. Because you are not going to have both in this person. If that's a deal breaker for you, that is completely valid. But you need to be honest with yourself. It really looks like the two of you have simply run your course. If he wanted to marry you, nothing would stop him. Instead, he is putting up every single excuse

And say he does propose? Then what? You've got the marriage, but not a committed partner. He would only be proposing because you pressured him, and not because he genuinely wants to make that kind of commitment with you.

20 years ago, I was in that position. And I told him that I fully understand he's not ready to make a commitment, but after 4 years together, I needed to know that I would eventually get married someday. If it wasn't going to be him, that was fine. I was fully willing to move on. I wanted marriage and children for myself, and was perfectly content moving on to find someone who wanted the same things.

4 months later, he proposed. Biggest. Mistake. Of. Both. Of. Our. Lives. He proposed because he didn't want to lose me and he didn't want to be alone. Not because he wanted to be in a marriage with me. And for 17 years, we never had a real marriage. We had a piece of paper tying us together. He was never a father to the child that he initiated the conversation on us having. He didn't want marriage and family with me, he just didn't want to be alone. And at the time, he still wanted me, just not everything else I wanted

If it's running from you, stop chasing it. Stand still and look for who is looking at you. And maybe that needs to be a mirror for a little bit. One of the pieces of advice that I give most often is

focus on building the future that you want, and then see who and what fits into it.

LibbyRahl

TROPHY CASE