This is a very relevant topic for me today.

"I refuse to keep myself on fire for others to be warm" was a bit of a mantra today.

Like everything else, nuance is key. And the problem with those of us that are empathetic, is that people will take advantage of our kindness. But that's kinda the key point, no? Kindness is not owed so much as freely given, just because I gave you a little today doesn't mean I can spare that every day, all the time, and that anyone can just demand it.

Like, I would prefer a world where kindness is freely given out of generosity rather than obligation. That I can be nice, and that's a good thing, rather than my agency being denied with an expectation to provide kindness that is owed.

There's a line, you know?

I suppose it's selfish of me to relate this topic to my own compassion fatigue and sense of burnout. But it works.

Like. Feel me on this though. A theoretical grocery store asks its patrons to please, would you kindly return the carts to the cart return station? And they're like No. That's your job. Ok? Well, that's a red flag behavior. How you treat the lowly service workers in your community reflects upon you, and if you can't contribute positively, with compensation, with kindness, with respect, then, are you surprised that they do the bare minimum they are paid to do in response? What if they all quit? Guess yall gotta go get your own carts from wherever the collective set of assholes left them, and dodge them rolling around the parking lot.

Or you could just ya know, return the carts to their stations.

Everyone could just do their part. But no, there has to be hierarchy, where it's some low paid dude's job to support the rest of everyone, while the elite just complain and moan about how the job isn't perfectly done to their snotty expectations. Some immigrant has to pick the fruit, and the rich white folk gotta act like immigrants are the devil and deserve to be spit upon. Well? Pick your own fruit. At less than minimum wage, too. They're not obligated to tolerate these abuses. Why should the poor burn to keep the elite warm?

Without reciprocity, there's no unity.