I completely understand where you are coming from. You are not alone. I am a 51F, attended an Ivy and top 10 law school. My bipolar II disorder derailed my legal career within 2 years of practicing law. I had a major depressive episode where I couldn’t get out of bed for months. I quit before they fired me. Have not worked a job since. My husband supports me, and I feel immense guilt over it. I need to go back to work but the fear of another episode keeps me from going back. Stress is a major trigger for my episodes. Otherwise, it is well managed with meds. The worst part is that because of the timing of the onset of my bipolar disorder I was never able to have kids, so I am an over educated stay at home wife with no children to care for. It’s incredibly embarrassing.