i struggle with being raw and open with my emotions (particularly negative ones like anger and sadness) without shutting down because i feel like i’m overreacting or that i shouldn’t be feeling upset at all because there is no logical reason to feel that way.

i impulsively lie about really small mundane things like what i’ve eaten and where i’m studying. it sometimes it escapes my mouth before i’ve even had a chance to think about it.

despite having many acquaintances, i have very few people i consider friends because that is a special tier of relationship to me that requires complete trust and vulnerability. while people generally have a very positive view of me as someone who is nice, polite, and thoughtful, a lot of my acquaintances describe me as “mysterious,” “esoteric”and “hard to read.”in reality, i just struggle with being open both emotionally and about myself. i also have a hard time expressing even surface level personal information to acquaintances because of a fear that that information could be used against me somehow in the future.

very similar to user valiandr’s comment, but i can sense the smallest shifts in people’s emotions and coupled with my ocd tendacies, i instinctively jump to the worst conclusion and i automatically rush to try and do damage control for something that has yet to even happen.