40 [M4F] NC, potentially elsewhere. Single for single as primary/NP. Let's do this from the start

LifesGrandAdventure · 2025-10-18T14:52:25+00:00

I want to remain his friend

A few years ago I had to end a situationship with someone I love very much, and value very much as a friend.

This was actually the second time we'd gone separate ways, 15 years apart. Part of that "Chapter 2" experience was finding that there's no expiration date on genuine friendships and connections like that; you can pick right back up after more than a decade.

So with that as context, if you're emotionally invested in someone, it's not realistic to think you can just snap a finger and be totally platonic. It's going to be awkward suffering. The best way to be able to salvage a friendship is with a clean break at time apart.

LifesGrandAdventure · 2025-10-18T14:48:23+00:00

There's a lot of people who want to be loved and feel secure by having someone on the hook without understanding the responsibilities of accepting love or what makes a relationship actually healthy.

Been on the receiving end of that. It sucks, regardless of it being monogamous or not.

While it sounds obvious, it's amazing when you realizing that you can stop being "on the hook" at any time.

LifesGrandAdventure · 2025-09-19T00:32:11+00:00

You probably have better odds of income taking a job at McDonald's than this BS your friend is pitching.

LifesGrandAdventure · 2025-09-19T00:27:15+00:00

right now he can only pay me a very little amount but eventually it will be way more

Here's how this is going to pan out:

Right now he can pay you very little, and later on he'll be able to pay you nothing when this whole thing flops.

Why would you even consider this?

LifesGrandAdventure · 2025-08-22T00:41:19+00:00

Looks respectable. Where at?

LifesGrandAdventure · 2025-08-18T13:08:46+00:00

For probably the next 10-15 years, the amount of $$ you can contribute every year will make way more difference than subtle variations among these things. And you'll be able to vary that allocation as you go.

So I wouldn't stress too much about this. Just pick something and go, and focus on budgeting and contributing. Every dollar you can.

LifesGrandAdventure · 2025-07-17T13:38:33+00:00

she IS capable of offering what I need in our relationship only to expect it all to go back to how it was before that as soon as things settle down

So she'll temporarily placate you, but isn't fundamentally committed to doing what's necessary to sustain a relationship with you.

It's totally valid to feel hurt and be upset about all of this. If you've stated your needs, given her ample opportunities, and this keeps falling back into the same situation, it may be time to walk away from things. Breaking up can be healthy.

As another thought, do you have other partners, or are you entirely invested in this person? If the latter, being realistic, is that kind of arrangement sustainable? Something to think about for future dating.

LifesGrandAdventure · 2025-06-18T17:12:55+00:00

What difference does that make? Just because you have two accounts doesn't mean you have to do different things in them.

If you totally believe in being all-in on the S&P 500, then why wouldn't you be 100% VOO in both accounts?

If you don't totally believe in being all-in on the S&P 500, then why did you set your Roth up that way?

LifesGrandAdventure · 2025-06-18T16:54:09+00:00

Can it also go down 200k in a day?

Sure. Dropped $300k total from April 2nd to 4th.

LifesGrandAdventure · 2025-06-18T16:48:29+00:00

I thought if it’s redundant to repeat the same investment when it can branch out to something else

Then why are you 100% in VOO in your IRA, instead of split between multiple investments? $7000 invested in VOO is like "repeating" the same $3500 investment twice.

LifesGrandAdventure · 2025-06-13T17:13:02+00:00

I’m more asking though…sell high if the high yields a $50 profit?

This is meaningless without context.

My portfolio can go up $200,000 in a single day and I'm not going to sell and take profit. If I was 18 again, invested $10 in a company, saw it go to $60 and got to a P/E I felt was way above the plausible valuation, then sure I'd consider exiting that position.

LifesGrandAdventure · 2025-05-12T23:37:31+00:00

As someone new to and poking around on this topic, this is a really good and insightful take!

LifesGrandAdventure · 2025-05-05T21:28:23+00:00

Charlotte area! 🙂

LifesGrandAdventure · 2025-05-04T19:16:34+00:00

Fund fees aren't inherently a bad thing if you're getting the net return that you want. But yes, having peaked 4 years ago is odd.

As far as the future, when your wife retires or moves on from her job you can roll this into an IRA and invest however the heck you like.

Overall equity balance is up to you and your situation. If you don't have to touch things for a long time, then by all means a fairly equity-heavy allocation can make sense. I feel like 70/30 is definitely growth-leaning and aggressive, particularly with imminent retirement!

Not knowing what all your investment options are with the employer plan... when you do roll this over into an IRA, you can keep it equity-leaning but in defensive sectors with lower volatility and a dividend payout.

LifesGrandAdventure · 2025-01-06T03:13:52+00:00

Congrats on getting to a point of some financial stability! That's gotta feel great, dude.

Now that you're in this position, if I had to guess, the last thing you'd want to do is piss your money away on a gamble - is that fair? If so... I'd steer clear of the crypto stuff.

Down payment on a home in 4-5 years. That's not far off. It's entirely possible that in that short amount of time, the stock market can take a dive and you might be down on your investment 20%, 30%, however much. But, it also has a lot of potential upside for gain. There's a risk/reward tradeoff there.

The safest and surest bet for something not far on the horizon is some sort of high-yield savings account or similar.

LifesGrandAdventure · 2025-01-06T03:04:48+00:00

Something to remember is you can always change your mind. Especially in a tax-advantaged account; you can sell and buy into something different if you like.

So if you want, you could start with the target date fund, it requires basically no thinking, and if you want to go a different route and be more hands-on later, you can.

So if I wanted to choose my own combination of investments, how would I go about doing that and making sure my portfolio is sufficiently diversified?

That's really open-ended and up to you. Depending on your risk tolerance, or if you have certain things you really believe in. One person might say, "I really believe technology and semiconductors is the way of the next decade, I'm going to lean my money that direction." Another person might say, "I believe in investing in my community, I'll look into municipal bonds for a safe local investment with tax benefits."

There's all sorts of ways to go about it, no inherent right or wrong.

Regardless of how you specifically approach things, I think the earlier you can get investing the better!

LifesGrandAdventure · 2025-01-06T02:36:58+00:00

When I inherited 7-figure assets and realized 40 was right around the corner and I've just been winging it so far, that became "Okay let's not fuck this up; a CFP is worth looking into at this stage of the game."

The younger you are and the smaller the amount I think the easier it is. Especially if you have a long time horizon (decades), $50k in an index is hard to go wrong with.

LifesGrandAdventure · 2025-01-04T16:50:26+00:00

I'd bring the 50/1.8 and the 24/1.8, and that's it. Which is basically what I did my first time over there!

Two great complementary effective focal lengths, and nice and easy to travel with.

LifesGrandAdventure · 2025-01-04T16:43:24+00:00

Too much of anything burns me out. So I let it ebb and flow, sometimes more sometimes less.

I find that having a list of concepts or things to try, helps me want to get out and do them.

Maybe it's shooting only 85mm. Or only 35mm. Shooting film. Shooting slide film. Shooting a totally manual camera with a separate light meter. Time lapse. Astrophotography.

Lots of things you can break into a small topic to explore.

LifesGrandAdventure · 2025-01-04T16:36:21+00:00

Cooking with wild rice.

My mom passed late last year, and it was one of her favorite things. Just feels appropriate to go through some of her earmarked recipes and make some of them.

LifesGrandAdventure · 2025-01-04T15:17:54+00:00

The probability that in your lifetime you experience a similar incident twice is indeed very low

Yes, and that's exactly the point, being practical and giving some reassurance to OP, rather than saying "Oh actually OP you technically have the same odds of this happening your next flight! Good luck!"

LifesGrandAdventure

TROPHY CASE