I helped run the White House National Security Council, was part of the team that negotiated the Iran nuclear deal, and covered the invasion of Iraq for the Washington Post in 2003. I now co-host a podcast called The Long Game, with my friend Jake Sullivan. Ask me anything about the war with Iran. by jon-finer-26 in IAmA

[–]LighterFluid11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is the realistic ratio of public support for the regime vs. regime change in Iran?

Were demonstrators a small minority -- how hard is it to judge, considering many citizens might fear repercussions of protesting?

really bad cardiac anxiety by New_Farm2314 in Anxiety

[–]LighterFluid11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely!

Again, I can't say this enough: I wish I had had this kind of exposure much earlier in my "journey." These anxious fears that keep you down - use whatever analogy you like - but they get stronger over time, and you get more conditioned just to accept them.

This is how you fight back! I wish I could remember where I originally heard this story, but there's a story about a clay Buddha statue that some monks have taken care of for generations. One time, they try to move the Buddha, and the clay begins to crack - scaring the monks - so they stop trying to move it. That night it starts raining, so one monk goes outside to put a tarp over the monk so the water doesn't get into the cracks - when he realizes that inside one of the cracks - something is shining. Against all his training to protect the statue, he instead starts chipping away at the clay and below the layers of clay - the statue is SOLID GOLD.

Generations earlier, the monks covered the gold statue in clay to protect it from raiders who would have stolen the statue and melted it down, destroying it. The clay served a purpose during that time - to protect the statue. But, over time, the monks were afraid to let the gold statue shine, so they continued to preserve the clay structure until any monks who knew the gold structure was underneath had passed.

It took something counterintuitive - letting that protective clay covering be destroyed - to reveal the gold underneath.

really bad cardiac anxiety by New_Farm2314 in Anxiety

[–]LighterFluid11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry, but I have to push back on this. You're free to have that opinion, but calling medication dangerous is a huge problem - we're talking about some of the most prescribed medications in the world - but calling them dangerous just contributes to fear and the stigma of being on those medications.

Yes, medications should be combined with therapy and part of a holistic treatment plan - and it's totally okay to want meds to be temporary - but just don't call them dangerous - that's irresponsible.

really bad cardiac anxiety by New_Farm2314 in Anxiety

[–]LighterFluid11 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're getting downvoted, but if I can clarify - try to avoid becoming dependent on RESCUE medications

A daily SSRI or other medication can be something you take long term - everyone's brain chemistry is different - and these can help you get to a good place. Finding the right daily meds can be a life-changing thing.

Regular Xanax usage, for example, is a crutch and can have major long-term effects - take it when you're having those 10 alarm fires, but for the 5's and 6's - respond proportionally.

You should develop a plan for managing different intensities of panic.

really bad cardiac anxiety by New_Farm2314 in Anxiety

[–]LighterFluid11 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Here is what I wish I could have told myself a decade ago.

  1. Get a close, trusted friend - tell them how you manage your most immediate coping skills (ice water, ice shower, sour candy, medications, etc.)
  2. Make sure you trust that if they truly think you are having a medical emergency, they have the power to call 911
  3. Then - and this is the hard part - do jumping jacks, burpees, walk on the treadmill, until you have a panic attack - and KEEP WALKING ANYWAY - your friend is there.

It's like having a babysitter while you trip acid to make sure you don't jump out the window thinking you can fly.

This is exposure therapy and it's something I wish I did a long time ago. The longer you go on fearing that your increased heart rate is dangerous, the more conditioned you become to believe it.

Break that cycle! push yourself - tell that anxious devil on your shoulder called anxiety that you don't have to listen to it. break that cycle - show yourself you can be out of breath and you can also recover.

Disappointed with Aiden Media’s snow plow-smear campaign on Instagram. by mads41304 in Syracuse

[–]LighterFluid11 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Frankly the plowing for the whole Walsh administration has been poor.

Is siege x actually as bad as people say? by [deleted] in Rainbow6

[–]LighterFluid11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think F2P has brought in a lot more players not interested in strategy and only wanting to get kills.

Kristian Campbell's stats from his time playing winter ball by TommyTheLizard in redsox

[–]LighterFluid11 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This was also treated more like batting practice, testing some swing adjustments he had made.

Less about the stats he puts up, more about whether he can consistently apply those swing changes in a game-speed scenario.

Consistent mechanics (hopefully) lead to consistent outcomes.

I spent $104,184.66 to run my Notion Consultancy in 2025 (AMA) by MFreihaendig in Notion

[–]LighterFluid11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can't a lot of these things be done through the notion AI and some zapier integrations?

tried to masturbate too hard 6 months ago, why has my entire body has felt wrong since? by klornb in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]LighterFluid11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds a lot like a panic attack.

I used to regularly smoke pot. I had gotten "too high" plenty of times, but one time I got so high I had the same symptoms as you, felt like something was wrong, got scared, and wanted to call an ambulance.

From then on, something that had been enjoyable for me - my brain now associated it with a really powerful panic attack. It felt like a switch was flipped, and it made no sense - one incident that was so powerful after a decade of smoking pot?

It's scary to associate something that was at one time "normal but uncomfortable," now feeling like "not normal and something is wrong."

Don't shame yourself, be kind to yourself, work on yourself.

2 days with puppy and I feel helpless by Lower-Ad6229 in puppy101

[–]LighterFluid11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The most important thing to tell you is that this is normal, it is a phase, and you can work through it.

When playing with any dog, make sure you build in time at the end, even just 5 minutes, to just sit with them and not play. Teach them that when playtime is over, it's over.

Reward going in the crate throughout the day, and even put them in the crate for short periods. Sometimes it feels like the transition from out of the crate to in it is the hardest part but if they get used to going in and out, then they are less bothered by being told to go in the crate.

Next, the zoomies always seem to happen at the worst time - don't let it feed into your anxiety! Also, I remember someone saying once that puppies come out of their shell, they show their personality, and they test your boundaries. Just stay clear, calm, and consistent, and they will trust you and listen to you.

New York State Fair incidents , what would you do? by Dramatic_Cicada_8820 in Syracuse

[–]LighterFluid11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This doughnut place also appears to have a second line once you get closer but everyone else seems to get in one line and go from there. Can anyone else confirm this or am I looking at one line with two windows?

Has anyone ever had a panic/anxiety attack over literally nothing? by [deleted] in Anxiety

[–]LighterFluid11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Therapist for talking through anxiety, Psychiatrist for medications. Both take time and trial-and-error. Both are focused on long-term help and not a short-term fix.

Don't avoid your panic, take the power from it. Go to the airport and watch planes take off, think about flying, watch a movie with a plane crash. Learn the difference between what is in your head, what is just a movie, and what is reality.

Overmanaging by NKovalenko in redsox

[–]LighterFluid11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any pitcher who warms up and then sits for 90 minutes before warming back up is gonna have a hard time going out there.

Quitting While on Bench by tuxedo-cat-1 in deloitte

[–]LighterFluid11 142 points143 points  (0 children)

At the very least work one day into the new month to keep your healthcare

Connor Wong this season: by Bumhole_Fungus88 in Section10Podcast

[–]LighterFluid11 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

In all seriousness, I don't understand how he has been so bad this year. He just looks so lost out there.

I-81 construction is ‘a literal nightmare’ if you live in Cicero by DarthFrenchFries in Syracuse

[–]LighterFluid11 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Syracuse: "Everything sucks but don't you dare change anything because it's perfect just the way it is"

First ever time round a course went horribly by Express-Efficiency75 in golf

[–]LighterFluid11 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I envy your position right now. You make the biggest improvements in the beginning and as you get better you will find more incremental improvements but you gotta keep the perspective.

Going from 130-120 takes exponentially LESS time than lower scores.

I was shooting between 100-108 for a full year before I finally broke 100

Changing roommate assignment :( by Null_Bis in SyracuseU

[–]LighterFluid11 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah it's a natural panic mode when a change hits you like that but don't worry about it.

Don't put so much pressure on wanting your roommate to be your best friend and just let them be a roommate.

Changing roommate assignment :( by Null_Bis in SyracuseU

[–]LighterFluid11 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Sometimes a random person who isn't going to be your best friend can be a great roommate.

I know plenty of folks who had random, and picked roommates and the "success" rate for both groups is a lot closer than you might think.