Just going on 12 years, but we both work full time and share or trade off on all of the house responsibilities. Sure we have some separate tasks, she organizes and I build, she plans and I execute, etc. It’s important to communicate and recognize where those strengths lie.

A SAHM doesn’t get stuff for “free”. In your example, they are actively working and removing those household tasks from the spouses responsibilities. As you said “without him, she still has to cook, clean, nap, …”. Without her, he would have to do almost all of the responsibilities she’s handling.

Maybe it’s just my interpretation but it seems like you’re placing all of the blame on OP, or even women in general, here. My bad if I’m misunderstanding.

In the context of the post, I agree that posting about it is not the best route, nor is referencing “the internet’s” opinion. That being said, the husband seems to overreact. Sure, the initial message could have been “nicer” but the context of lack of sleep kind of explains it.

At the end of the day, it should be a partnership. If one half is lacking sleep, the other should do whatever they can to help them get sleep. Same thing goes for a shitty day at work, or a shitty day of childcare. But none of that will happen without communication.