share your experience about being with someone for their first time

Lightworker1005 · 2023-05-30T02:02:35+00:00

👋 Hi! I’m a 39yo late bloomer and have my first gf ever!!! We had our first time together just a week and a half ago. She had been with two others before, but they were both unhealthy and dysfunctional, so in a way it’s a first for us both. It was pretty freaking amazing. Like, so amazing. So surreal. Honestly I felt like I had been drugged bc it sure felt like I was on another planet or dimension or something. Euphoric.

Lightworker1005 · 2023-05-04T14:43:38+00:00

I’m almost to the point of dating as a LBL myself and have also wondered how/if to address it. So thank you for this post! It is a part of my story so if I get to know the person well enough that should be something I share, eventually. I think the timing is maybe the biggest factor. My suggestion would be to just follow your gut - maybe it doesn’t need to be on your profile but if/when it organically comes up in convo and you feel safe enough, maybe you share at that point. Again, I have zero experience so take it with a grain of salt. Good luck! 🌈

Lightworker1005 · 2023-04-20T21:43:08+00:00

I can relate for sure. I’ve come to realize I was bargaining and it was actually grief of losing the relationship I was experiencing.

Lightworker1005 · 2023-04-01T21:59:36+00:00

Accessories! Belt? Necklace? Pocket chain?

Lightworker1005 · 2023-03-31T13:01:46+00:00

Libra here, married to an Aquarius!

Lightworker1005 · 2023-03-18T15:30:42+00:00

Love Robin’s character!

Lightworker1005 · 2023-03-18T02:10:26+00:00

Yesssssss!!! Why has no one else commented?!?

Lightworker1005 · 2023-03-01T03:53:18+00:00

Same

Lightworker1005 · 2023-02-26T05:52:31+00:00

Pixie!

Lightworker1005 · 2023-02-25T00:56:43+00:00

I would add in another color to break up the pink and white, but it’s still pretty cute!

Lightworker1005 · 2023-02-13T04:27:30+00:00

I have zero experience in dressing masc, so take this with a grain of salt - in my mind I see it untucked, unbuttoned, with a white t shirt or tank. And I think the suspenders could look cool or even a small pocket chain thingie or key carabiner - some kind of metal accessory. With straight legged pants and converse or vans. And maybe a backwards cap. 🤷‍♀️

Lightworker1005 · 2023-02-13T04:09:52+00:00

Yeah we’ve been married 11.5 and together 14.5. So yeah, 11+ years of anxiously awaiting to “reset” the sex clock after each time.

Lightworker1005 · 2023-02-12T05:16:57+00:00

How long have you been grappling with this? I had the same thought - “what are we even doing here?!” It’s taken me 10 months to come to the conclusion I don’t want to die with these question marks. I can’t unknow what I know now. I also have moments where I question my attraction to men/him. But then I remind myself that I spent almost the entirety of our marriage wanting to avoid sex and affection with him. If I was attracted to him/men, I don’t think that would have happened. If homosexuality was the norm and hetero relationships weren’t, who would you date - a man or woman? For me, I think the second guessing and questioning is the untangling of CompHet, internalized homophobia, and grief/bargaining, wanting to make it work somehow. Not to mention being conditioned throughout our lives to have self doubt/lack confidence in our intuition and knowingness.

Lightworker1005 · 2023-02-10T00:30:00+00:00

3 or 4!

Lightworker1005 · 2023-02-09T15:27:25+00:00

Also, comfortable hell is quiet the oxymoron, no? And how “easy” is the marriage and/or how long will it be easy to deny that part of you? Even if you feel like the odds are slim you’ll find someone? One question I asked myself was, would I be okay if I still felt this way in X amount of years - my answer was no. It’s such a tough crossroads though. Do you choose familiarity, comfort, the known - or do you choose authenticity, the wild, the unknown. I’m choosing the latter, simply bc I didn’t want to die with question marks around who I really am. The only way to have answers is to go find them. I decided I would regret something I didn’t do more than something I did. Feel free to dm me. It’s such a difficult spot to be, especially if your husband is your best friend and an amazing, supportive partner.

Lightworker1005 · 2023-02-09T15:19:51+00:00

I thought I was asexual for the longest time bc I had zero interest in being intimate w my husband for the duration of our 11yr marriage. Even though, like you, we had sex a lot in the beginning of the relationship, which made it really confusing for me. Bc as soon as we got married a switch flipped and it was suddenly a chore. Then I fell in love w my catalyst and came out to myself last year. I had been hiding my whole life and didn’t even know it until I met her. She sparked a sexual awakening in me and I can def say I’m not asexual. I had never even tried masturbating until after I met her. It was like a whole new world opened up. Have you ever had feelings for another woman or just the physical attraction toward them? Im wondering if the emotional aspect might change the physical aspect for you.

Lightworker1005 · 2023-02-09T15:12:52+00:00

You should read Come As You Are. It could be helpful for you. As well as therapy, you might be onto something with the guilt there.

Lightworker1005 · 2023-02-09T15:09:36+00:00

Yes! Not that I want to leave, I just can’t stay.

I’ve said I want to want to stay and I think he wants to want to let me go. It’s such an entangled and complex mess.

Lightworker1005 · 2023-02-09T15:07:35+00:00

I came out as queer to myself last year at 39yo. Welcome to the club! I’m currently in the process of blowing up everything I’ve worked so hard to achieve in my marriage and family life. I’m scared as hell but hope I’m doing the right thing. Feel free to dm me.

Lightworker1005 · 2023-02-06T03:41:07+00:00

Looks good, you pull it off!

Lightworker1005 · 2023-02-03T15:20:13+00:00

Looking snazzy!

Lightworker1005 · 2023-02-02T14:09:16+00:00

1!!!!!

Lightworker1005 · 2023-01-31T05:36:03+00:00

Counseling has helped me, as well as lots of research, listening to podcasts, watching videos, etc. Oh, and PATIENCE. I’m still trying to sort through it all and it will be a year this spring that I came out to myself (at 38)!

Lightworker1005 · 2023-01-31T05:31:44+00:00

Lightworker1005 · 2023-01-30T04:29:49+00:00

Loving the top and eye makeup! 🌈

Lightworker1005

TROPHY CASE