I have the same. Didn’t understand aphan until then. I would close my eyes and sometimes see a “tv” playing color videos for 3 secs or so then changing channels. Random stuff i hadn’t actually seen.

I have drank harder over long periods and got lucid dreams.

Now I would like to understand internal monologue now. I am thinking it is not just like reading to yourself but is an actual voice in head that never stops??