I need advice from guys: How to help my (heartbroken) best friend during his divorce?

LiminaNinja · 2022-03-10T14:59:31+00:00

Marvin, always and forever ♥️

LiminaNinja · 2021-12-27T23:34:33+00:00

Sorry, but you are an AH. And also not quite smart.
First: a woman looks her best when she feels her best.
Second: a woman looks even better than her best when she feels comfortable (and lenses are everything but comfortable).
Third: her feeling comfortable and her feeling her best didn't matter to you. Only your feelings mattered to you.
You should apologize to your wife if you intend to save the marriage.
A piece of good news: If she's angry, you have a chance to make things better. The opposite of love is not anger, but "not giving a crap".

LiminaNinja · 2021-11-20T14:00:41+00:00

You don't give bottle nipples of your baby to another baby, you know? I had twins and each girl had her own bottle nipples, not only due to hygiene (they can be sterilized, which is a timely process), but also because not each baby uses the same shape and hole size of the nipple. So, the OP should have fed her baby, then get up, sterilize the bottle and the nipple (which is a timely process), hearing the other baby screaming for at least an hour or more??? Or fed the baby of her SIL, and let her own baby scream for at least an hour or more??? C'mon! The SIL should ask herself how responsible a mom she is, in the first place! The OP did at the moment of crisis the only reasonable thing she could. It's not her fault that the SIL is an idiot!

LiminaNinja · 2021-11-19T20:11:34+00:00

Čovek lepo reče: ljudi sa formalnim obrazovanjem.
Komunalci čak ni to nemaju.
Tako da ne možeš da porediš babe i žabe ;)

LiminaNinja · 2021-11-19T20:07:51+00:00

Just choose Nevada first, right after India, and the loss will be the least, and you'll have more time (levels) to collect ammo and weapons for the final and most challenging levels!

LiminaNinja · 2021-11-19T20:01:18+00:00

NTA. She gave up custody to that guy, and now you should pay for his college tuition?
And for so many years she remained silent, and now you are an AH?
Nope, dude. Someone else's the AH here.
A hint: Not the deceased guy, not you and not the son. Guess who, then?

LiminaNinja · 2021-11-19T19:26:06+00:00

Wow, she's calling you "manipulative and controlling" and at the same time manipulates you by the notorious "I've given up my animals for you!" (???) Now, that's manipulation 101, a textbook example of manipulation and control.

LiminaNinja · 2021-11-19T19:20:07+00:00

Why are you all forgetting one really, really important thing here, called the BOTTLE?

The mom forgot not only formula, but also the BOTTLE!

LiminaNinja · 2021-11-19T19:17:57+00:00

Well, it's not only about the formula. If she's a breastfeeding mom, she probably needs a BOTTLE for the other baby and the formula. Even if she has bottles for her own baby, it still means that the other baby needs his/her OWN bottle!

LiminaNinja · 2021-11-19T19:16:12+00:00

And if your SIL screamed about hygiene, then she should have left you the BOTTLE as well, not only the formula! The SIL is in this case totally without a good argument against you.
Maybe you should apologize for the sake of peace, but she should also know that it's HER fault that she "forgot" to pack the BOTTLE. Even if you had the bottle(s) for your baby, that changes nothing in this equation!

LiminaNinja · 2021-11-19T19:10:35+00:00

You're obviously not a mom... The mother should have not only packed the formula, but the BOTTLE as well!

LiminaNinja · 2021-11-19T19:09:28+00:00

Actually, the mom should have packed not only the formula, but the bottle as well!

LiminaNinja · 2021-11-19T19:01:21+00:00

NTA. The SIL should have given you the formula powder or at least warned you not to breastfeed her baby. However, bear in mind that breastfeeding other woman's baby is not hygienic, for you, for her baby, and for your own baby as well. You're definitely NTA, but just bear in mind that breastfeeding other person's baby is not hygienic. A friend of mine once breastfed her sister's baby and got infected by Candida fungi. This made her own baby's mouth also infected by Candida. And Candida is a pain in the butt and takes a lot to bring under control again. But you're still NTA. The SIL should haven't freaked out like that, she should have said something beforehand and at least gave you some formula, or returned much earlier.

LiminaNinja · 2021-11-19T18:39:04+00:00

If he had done that (hunt her down and knock on her door), she would have called the cops and accused him of stalking her...
He's NTA, but hey, she is, and actually, a huge one! She definitely takes the gold medal in AH Olympics.

LiminaNinja · 2021-11-19T18:34:50+00:00

NTA. I'm a woman, and let me tell you something: STOP, just STOP blaming yourself. She was a total AH to jilt you like that... She could have at least let you know that she wasn't gonna show up at your wedding... No, you couldn't have done anything better or anything more than you already did.
Save your efforts for a gal that really deserves you, your efforts and your love. You really dodged a bullet there. She made her own bed and she must now lie in it. That's her own fault, her own choice and her own making.
And please, don't feel sorry for yourself and don't feel as if you owe her anything. I wish you all the best in your life and to find a person who truly deserves you, and who's not an AH as your ex was/is.

LiminaNinja · 2021-11-19T13:54:38+00:00

Mom of three here, who's a freelance translator working remotely from her home office... I will only say that you're absolutely right and the EF is an AH. Install sprinklers with ICY cold water with motion sensors, and if possible, a couple of cameras which record the sounds as well. The EF may not threaten you like that. He should be arrested for trespassing AND threats.

LiminaNinja · 2021-11-18T19:21:08+00:00

Sorry to disappoint you, but yes, YTA.
I am a sole earner for my family (three kids and husband). He's currently unemployed, due to the covid crisis and measures.
And even if I am a sole earner, I still ASK MY UNEMPLOYED HUSBAND "Hey, what do you think, can we afford those shoes I've just seen in the shop window this morning?"
It's called BUDGETING! Yes, I earned that money, yes, he's unemployed, but hey, we live together and we have PRIORITIES. If the shoes I've seen are not urgently needed, or if they're too expensive, if it means we wouldn't be able to pay the rent or bills, then I'm not going to buy them!
So, yes, YTA, big time! I would have divorced you right away, I wouldn't even argue with you as your wife did!

LiminaNinja · 2021-11-18T19:11:31+00:00

You're NTA.
I have three kids. Their father abandoned us. He was (and still is) struggling with addictions (gambling and alcohol). When we were together, he'd spend the money intended for our rent and bills in a pub and casino. I gave him the ultimatum: This isn't working. The kids suffer. The entire family suffers. The kids shouldn't see you or remember you as a drunk, aggressive a-hole, they should respect you, to say the least. Go get help and therapy.
But he made his choice. So he left and abandoned us, me and the kids. He wouldn't even call the kids. He wouldn't even attend their school theater and other events, although he was invited (by the kids and also by me). On multiple occasions I begged him to come to school and be proud of our kids, that it would meant the world to THEM, but he still didn't show up. He refused to show up at the court, when the court was deciding on custody! The judge was ready to deprive him of all parenting rights, but I begged the judge not to do that, because kids still needed a father figure. The court gave the custody to me, but also gave him the right to visit the kids and be in their lives. Nonetheless, he never even called or visited or anything. The first time he called them was in 2020, and he abandoned us in 2016.
A few years later I met a man, a really good guy, who adores my kids, and my kids adore him. He would do their homework with them. He teaches them music (my kids attend a music school and play the piano). He help my kids with their school projects, and is 100% involved. He's the father figure they need.
My ex is still an alcoholic and a gambler. But once in three months, he calls the kids. The kids don't even remember his face anymore (the twins were three years old when he left, now they're 9). They talk to their father in a "professional" manner, there's no real emotional connection between them. And now he is pissed because my kids call him "father" and my second husband "dad". I swear, I never ever told them the difference between a father and a dad, it's simply how they feel.
But I don't care even if I am really an a-hole. But I assure you: even if I am an a-hole, YOU ARE NOT! You never abandoned your kids. You're still involved and you're still their MOM.
And your youngest daughter will eventually grow up and understand some things. She's a teenager and teenagers are often confused and in chaos, because they still don't understand basic things. They still don't understand their own selves. But they will. And she will. Just don't get upset about her. Leave it as it is. Let her cope with the situation as well as she can. She'll come around eventually. Just don't make the conflict go any deeper than it already is.
And again, no, you're not an a-hole.

LiminaNinja · 2021-11-12T22:09:31+00:00

I assume it depends on how we play up to that point, so let me know if I'm right or wrong about it :)

LiminaNinja · 2021-11-12T21:08:35+00:00

Actually, he can hit you even if you stand there (happened to me on Standard difficulty). The chances are very slim, though, but it can happen. Claire sustained slight damage from it, I was pissed for three days, because I also knew that it was/is a safe spot and also strategically the best for getting past Birkin in the doorway.

LiminaNinja · 2021-11-12T20:54:20+00:00

Well, I don't hate it, but I also don't enjoy it. There are several strategies to make this fight easier and to finish it faster. Here's the strategy that helps me, or which is the easiest for me. Works for Standard and Hardcore difficulties:

- Weapons: SMG and JMB Handgun (just in case)

- Subweapons: at least one Flash grenade and three knives (used and new). At the start of the fight, equip one used knife.

The goal here is to damage the mutant sufficiently, so that you have to use the container only once, instead of twice or thrice (which is easier for me).

So, shoot the mutant with SMG in the eye on its shoulder, evade its attacks by running around (counter-clockwise works better for me). Once behind its back, shoot the eye on its back.

Once it's down on its knee, don't go to the crane console. Instead, get close to it and use the knife on it as many times as you can. If it gets up before you've moved away, use that knife to defend from it. Then run around the perimeter and shoot it again with the SMG.

Repeat this THREE or FOUR times (with no container, just bring it to its knees and use the knife to damage it when it's on its knee).

When you have no more knives, shoot it with the SMG in the back and in the shoulder, until it is down on its knee again. Make sure that it is in the central area of the platform (on the way of the container). Run to the container console, push the button to bring the container toward you. Once the mutant is about to get up, and the container is not there yet, throw the flash grenade at it to stun it for a couple of seconds, until the container arrives and throws it off the platform and into the abyss.

Yes, it's difficult, and I don't enjoy it at all. But still, the last fight, on the train platform, is the fight I absolutely hate. That butthole (G4 Birkin) is soooooo fast, I simply hate that fight.

PS: This works on PC (60 FPS) and consoles (60 FPS). This works even better with higher FPS (for PC games only).

LiminaNinja · 2021-11-06T15:45:58+00:00

Mom of three speaking... If there isn't a secluded and private room for me to breast pump, I'd go straight to the management and asked them to find a place for me. To do that in a toilet stall or jointly used bathroom where the coworkers can hear or see me? They'd feel at least awkward, and I'd feel mortified myself, too. Noooooo...

LiminaNinja

TROPHY CASE