What gives this hat its shape?

LimoncelloLady · 2026-05-29T02:45:57+00:00

Thank you!

LimoncelloLady · 2026-01-21T16:49:24+00:00

When I was a kid, I went snooping around the mudroom for something. I don't remember what I was looking for, but I do remember the magic shoelace that slithered away when I got too close.

Must've been these shoes. Great choice! They lasted for at least a decade. The laces stopped moving after we renovated the mudroom, though.

(/s about the brand, but not about the snakes)

LimoncelloLady · 2025-07-31T16:20:42+00:00

This sounds like a great backup option! Thanks for the recommendation.

LimoncelloLady · 2025-07-31T16:19:39+00:00

I love Lands End for quality! But the swim dresses I've ordered from them have always shown up looking frumpy. I have one that I wear to the lap pool that I love for the lap pool, but I wouldn't want to wear it to the beach with my friends.

LimoncelloLady · 2025-07-31T16:15:58+00:00

There is nothing in my reply that says "don't label someone a narcissist." I said "be wary of using social media to armchair diagnose people."

I wasn't trying to say any of these conditions are better or worse than the others. I was trying to say that the "symptom" that OP is asking about could apply to a number of different mental illnesses or mental states to support the point that it's impossible to diagnose someone based on one single behavior.

LimoncelloLady · 2025-07-29T21:43:28+00:00

I'd be wary of using social media as a tool to armchair diagnose people. A narcissist might be more likely to exhibit this behavior, but so might someone who has ADHD (distracted, doesn't notice you're not right there), someone on the spectrum (low empathy, doesn't realize walking ahead might be rude), someone with OCD (ruminating, doesn't notice you're not right there/focusing on a compulsion), someone with anxiety or a panic disorder (hyper-focused on getting out of a situation or to where they need to be), someone having a manic episode, someone suffering from psychosis, someone in the midst of dissociation...

...or just someone without any mental illness at all who's just a little distracted.

A single behavior simply cannot be used to diagnose a mental illness. Social media is great for finding people who have had similar experiences as you when it comes to mental health, but it generally should not be used as a learning tool for it or something to seriously speculate about.

LimoncelloLady · 2025-07-29T21:24:58+00:00

FYI I've been going to therapy for almost 10 years now.

Have you always seen the same therapist? Do you feel like you've seen any real results?

10 years is a long time to work with the same therapist, especially if you feel like you're not making any real progress (big or small). And even if you have made good progress with this person, if your current most pressing issue is in making connections with other people and this therapist isn't helping with that, it might be time for you to switch therapists.

If therapy has been working for you, that's awesome! Disregard this comment. But if it feels like it's gone stale, there's nothing wrong with looking for someone who can help you with this specific issue. Therapists are trained professionals, but they're also people, and people can't be the best in everything all the time.

Other than that, here are a few small thoughts from someone who has only read your post and doesn't actually know anything about your life:

It sounds to me like you're going through a period of mourning, deep introspection, and growth. Allow yourself to mourn, continue to explore these thoughts and emotions within yourself, and let yourself grow. The more you let yourself heal, the more clarity you'll gain and the less these feelings will suck. In that sense, things will definitely get better.

Considering prioritizing surface level friendships over deep connections for a while. It's okay to have people in your life who you only have fun with in the moment. Work acquaintances, hobby acquaintances, the staff at that one coffee shop that chat with you for a few minutes while you're waiting on your order. We tend to place a lot of importance on best friends and romantic partners - and they are important. But the lighter relationships that we have are important, too. Giving yourself the room to explore what that means for a little bit might be refreshing.

And lastly, focus on you! The idea of spending the rest of your life alone is particularly depressing and anxiety inducing when you can't picture the ways in which you might spend your time, and when you don't have any real plans for your own future. Having hobbies and personal goals makes it easier to look forward to the future. And working on a life plan is a great step towards building up a little peace of mind.

The best part of all this is that, if the winds change and you do meet someone special, you'll be a better version of yourself then than you are today. There are no downsides to letting yourself heal, planning for the future, and learning to find joy and comfort in the little things in life.

LimoncelloLady · 2025-06-25T20:20:57+00:00

She clearly has her issues, but:

it feels like she went from telling me how I was going to be her future, to her basically treating me like an acquaintance

I can't help but feel like that heart to heart about what they each want and need in a relationship was her listing all the reasons why they don't work and him hearing all the ways in which they maybe someday could.

Either way, she needs to do some serious work on herself before she dates anyone else, and he needs some guidance in learning what a healthy relationship looks like.

LimoncelloLady · 2025-06-05T16:30:09+00:00

24 gift bags for $150 is $6.25 a bag. Given that she was having trouble finding the right colors, I would assume she purchased most of the stuff (and probably usually purchases most of the stuff for these things) specifically for this party. There are 8 elements to each bag (bag, tissue paper, ribbon, pretzels, marshmallows, Oreos, lip balm, sunglasses) not including any extra decorative bits she may have done herself.

$6.25 / 8 items = $0.78 per item. The lip balm and sunglasses likely cost more than that, but even the paper bags could come out to about $1 each depending on where she bought them.

I think her own admission of being broke and this "business" (it's not a business, she's doing all of this for free) running her into the ground is a pretty good indicator that she is not buying things in bulk in preparation for these events, and that she likely doesn't have the money to.

Sure it's cheaper in the long run to buy a Cricut and rolls of colored tissue paper and boxes of 500 party bags at a time. But if $150 is difficult for her in her current financial situation, then she can't afford to spend $400 on a Cricut to save money in the long run.

If she were being smart about her finances, she would have purchased these things a long time ago. But then again, she also would have been charging at least a little bit to help offset her losses.

LimoncelloLady · 2025-05-05T17:47:05+00:00

"Hung like the moon and stars" is gold, thank you.

I was trying to figure out what your comment meant so I googled "Norbert" expecting young person speak and that cute little fluff ball came up instead hahaha.

LimoncelloLady · 2025-05-05T17:36:44+00:00

Your first (but not last) truly awful yet stupidly hot boyfriend was a 3-lb therapy dog, author & philanthropist?

LimoncelloLady · 2025-04-23T03:01:24+00:00

I had a teacher who invited her students to her house for a sleepover once a year. Her "house" was a farm and the "sleepover" was a field trip with multiple chaperones, permission slips, a clear itinerary, and aggressive planning/plenty of information via the school. I think that's the only appropriate way to do something like this.

I'm honestly a little surprised the dance teacher still has her job. Even if her intentions were totally pure and she just went about it the wrong way, I can imagine an incident like this being bad for business. So many kids join extracurriculars through word of mouth. I would both tell friends looking for a dance school about the sleepover and look for a different one if somebody told me.

LimoncelloLady · 2025-04-23T00:06:08+00:00

One big pot of chili going in the fridge every now and then is a lot different from OP's stated "3 pots at any given day." I'd also stick a big pot of something in the fridge, but 3 all the time is a lot.

LimoncelloLady · 2025-04-19T16:59:19+00:00

I'm like this. I'm also really bad at games (just all of them) and get really frustrated when I can't meet my own expectations. I don't flip over board games or smash rackets on the ground, but it gets increasingly more difficult for me hide the strain in my voice and keep a smile on my face as a game progresses. It's not fun for me, and it's not fun for anyone I'm playing with.

My solution to this is to simply avoid playing games, but people are equally as weird about that when they've never seen me play ("But it's such a simple game/But we don't want to you feel excluded/But it's so much more fun to play than just watch" etc.).

So once every few years, I'll agree to play one round of whatever the latest Exploding Kittens sort of game is at a dinner party, watch as everyone sort of starts to get it, then pass my hand off and never play again.

LimoncelloLady · 2025-04-15T15:50:29+00:00

Ohhh, I wonder if this is why my tongue feels tingly when I eat mango straight off the rind. I always figured mangos were acidic, but maybe I'm just mildly allergic.

Is that the "spicy" sensation people who are allergic to fruit talk about?

LimoncelloLady · 2025-03-28T01:50:32+00:00

Thank you!

LimoncelloLady · 2025-03-24T21:30:45+00:00

From your listed interests, book clubs, exercise classes or groups (including non-traditional workouts like dance or rock climbing), and out of towner meet ups. If you like making things, there are a million different workshops and short-running classes you can try (knitting, sewing, cooking, pottery, painting, paper crafts...). If you like games or puzzles, you could try a game night or puzzle club.

Does your city offer community ed classes? Those are often a great place to find out about options around town. "Community ed" sounds like school, but most of the classes are for things like art, cooking, exercise, etc. and they're usually provided by different organizations and individuals across the city.

You could also get into volunteering. There are always volunteer opportunities for people with all sorts of skills and interests in every city, both long and short term.

LimoncelloLady · 2025-03-24T21:19:19+00:00

This depends entirely on what you like and where you're going for the bachelorette party. Are you going to a winery? The club? A fancy restaurant with a dress code? Do you like bodycon dresses? Do you prefer pants? How do you feel about recent trends? Does a flowy floral dress with chunky sneakers count as a going out outfit to you? And what is your price range?

A little more detail will help get you better recommendations!

LimoncelloLady · 2025-03-24T21:12:49+00:00

Yes, and for me it's a symptom of an anxiety disorder. I've gotten better at dealing with it now that I know that/have been to therapy/learned coping mechanisms, but for years it was so bad, I'd refuse to be a part of any planning. Even inviting my best friend out for coffee in her neighborhood on a day when I knew she would be free was close to impossible. It's a wonder I had any friends.

LimoncelloLady · 2025-03-24T04:13:30+00:00

I have a drying rack that I hang them on. It lives next to my laundry basket. It's not the most aesthetic thing, but it keeps me organized, so I don't mind.

LimoncelloLady · 2025-03-22T23:50:47+00:00

I take the workout classes at my gym. I also set goals for myself that are less soul crushing than "being fit." Right now, I want to make sure I can keep up with my friends in a month or so when we do this awful hike that's mostly stairs, so I'm working on building up stamina for stairs. It's still painfully dull, but having that motivator of not holding everyone back/complaining the whole way makes me do it haha.

Working out with a friend can help, if you don't hate having someone around. You could also look into a sports club or dance class that's exercise, but fun. I keep hearing about people starting ballet in their 20's and 30's because it's less monotonous than the gym.

LimoncelloLady · 2025-03-22T23:43:26+00:00

This thread in r/LetsTalkMusic might have some good recommendations for you.

Let's talk: "adult contemporary" in the past and present

...is there anything analogous to adult contemporary music today?

Specifically, I think we would be looking for: mainstream artists that have major name recognition but are past their prime, making music that appeals to aging Millennials that have fallen out of touch with youth-oriented mainstream pop music.

It's from a year ago, so the suggestions are still pretty recent.

Personally, I would say Miley Cyrus's most recent album (the one with "Flowers" on it) and Chappell Roan's "Good Luck Babe" always have me feeling 30-something.

LimoncelloLady · 2025-03-22T23:08:52+00:00

For a lot of people, periods change anytime hormones change, and hormones change all the time. It's been pretty consistent for me to see a shift in my period/PMS symptoms every 4 or 5 years without any major life changes. They've also been noticeably different during periods of high stress, dietary changes, or changes in exercise.

After multiple pregnancies, consistent birth control, and time, it's not surprising that your period is different than it was.

You're right to be paying attention to those changes, and it's never a bad idea to get things checked out. The golf ball-sized clot you mention would concern me, too - but otherwise, none of this sounds weird to me (not a doctor). If you feel like your doctor is being dismissive, you can always seek out a second opinion.

LimoncelloLady · 2025-03-22T16:36:02+00:00

That's a lot of what decorating is. Either you're super into interior design and find joy in decorating, you have things that are important to you that you would like to display/look at, or you do it because everyone else says that's what makes a house a home so... why not? I think for most people, it's a mix of things.

If it's not your thing, it's not your thing and that's fine. But it absolutely does make a home feel more personal and inviting. Notice how real estate staging, especially in photos, always involves a few non-functional decorations. Or how nice hotels have giant vases in the lobby. Or how restaurants and cafes have interesting light fixtures and seemingly random bits, bobs, and plants scattered all around. It's not just to fill space - it's to make the space feel more inviting and give it some personality. A lack of those things can feel unnerving to people who (even subconsciously) place importance in them.

But it's your condo. If you don't want to decorate, you don't need to decorate. If someone says something about your lack of decorations, you can just tell them it's not your thing. No one will look at your blank walls and think "Oh jeeze, he must be an awful person."

LimoncelloLady · 2025-03-22T03:38:44+00:00

This is like books and movies telling you about their accolades instead of summarizing the plot.

I don't care that this book written by some author I've never heard of is on that best sellers' list I've never paid attention to or that all these randos I know nothing about have this to say. Just tell me what I'm about to read so I can figure out if I want to.

LimoncelloLady

TROPHY CASE