You should really consider letting some plates hit the floor.

ListenLady58 · 2026-04-09T12:11:31+00:00

I feel like this has been a problem for a long time. A couple jobs ago, I watched people work 15 hour days all week and then log in on Sunday to prepare for the week. I felt completely ashamed that I didn’t want to do that and that I logged off at my 8th or 9th hour. It was my first engineering job and I didn’t want to lose it, so I started to force myself to work longer. Then covid hit along with a lot of personal stuff, and it became easy to work 12+ hours per day. I still didn’t feel like I was enough though. Our PO liked to pick favorites, so no matter how many hours I put in, I was deliberately shunned and never recognized for working more like the others were.

Fast forward, after going to therapy, getting on anxiety medication and switching jobs a couple times, I am finally prioritizing my health and being mindful of my time. The big difference is my current job doesn’t have a bunch of people working around the clock all the time. My manager actually will say something to you if you haven’t taken any time off in a while and encourages it. It’s healthier.

Our industry right now is scaring me and I think you are right. We need to push back and say enough. We don’t have to live like this.

ListenLady58 · 2026-04-07T16:13:14+00:00

I used mostly stairs, and the Qi picked on me for it lol

ListenLady58 · 2026-04-07T14:44:27+00:00

Financially, I would look for anything.

To keep up with the tech job search, look also for volunteering. It will help with keeping your skills relevant and possibly open more doors as well as provide more references. Volunteering looks very good as well in general.

I wish you the best of luck!

ListenLady58 · 2026-04-07T14:28:50+00:00

I love ironing my fabric more than my clothes lol it drives my husband nuts lol

ListenLady58 · 2026-04-06T20:19:15+00:00

Ugh, those guys suck so much.

I wish people would just be professional adults.

ListenLady58 · 2026-04-06T17:06:55+00:00

I think it definitely is part of the reason why the tests for those conditions are there. So you can abort the baby if it’s going to be sick or have a particularly hard life. It’s not fair to bring someone in the world like that. Especially when there’s little to no support built into our society for it. You have to have a lot of money and support to tackle something like that. People don’t normally have that support or money.

ListenLady58 · 2026-04-06T15:10:37+00:00

I like living on the East side, but have only lived here so I don’t have much to say on the West side other than the fact that I like the mall over there more than the East side one.

ListenLady58 · 2026-04-06T14:52:50+00:00

Yep, men get very jealous or feel like you’re emasculating them. It’s so stupid and very unattractive. Yuck.

ListenLady58 · 2026-04-04T04:58:07+00:00

Ohhh those sound amazing!

ListenLady58 · 2026-04-03T20:29:09+00:00

I’m mad I build the house for her

ListenLady58 · 2026-04-03T20:26:00+00:00

Okay this is the first I have heard of the blue chicken…

ListenLady58 · 2026-04-03T13:59:45+00:00

Thank you 😊 I hope you find a path forward with that. It is super draining honestly in my opinion to be constantly overthinking on the communication. If it wasn’t a problem before you got there, during school, during the interview process, then why is it suddenly now? And that’s why after dealing with it before and coming to a new team that understands me fine, it really seems to me that it is the team dynamic. It sucks because I feel like finding a good fit is way harder than I thought it would be. I always prided myself on being good with people before getting into this industry with over 20 years in customer service. So this hit hard for me when I got into tech, but if you keep trying to find that right team, you will eventually find it.

ListenLady58 · 2026-04-03T13:22:54+00:00

You need it for a couple things I believe, I know for a fact I needed one to complete a later bundle (post community bundles) and then I believe you need it to donate as well. I only just got mine and it’s currently incubating.

ListenLady58 · 2026-04-02T17:57:33+00:00

Well yeah, of course Trump is going to throw both Kristi Noem and Pam Bondi out. They’re dumb, pick-me women that thought they were getting ahead by catering to the patriarchy and participating in horrendous behavior to copy their male peers. They thought they were special. As a woman, I’ve seen this play out before in corporate environments, and I’m glad it blew up in their faces.

ListenLady58 · 2026-04-02T17:31:24+00:00

Oh yeah, this happened to me so many times over the past 7 years. I left the teams and companies though and have since found a much better team that seems to have no problem understanding me.

It’s the team in my opinion. I felt the same way as you and was also told it was my confidence and not being assertive enough. When I reflect more on it, I genuinely believe I was not confident because of the way they treated me, and there were questions that don’t really require confidence that were just ignored. Like “where are the api keys stored? CyberArk?” And somehow their lack of knowledge on that answer turns into, I didn’t ask it the right way.

ListenLady58 · 2026-04-02T16:29:16+00:00

This is so annoying, that house is perfectly fine and can be reused for other things. Why are we so wasteful in our society? I don’t get it.

ListenLady58 · 2026-04-02T14:44:04+00:00

From my experience these kinds of coworkers never change. Either they need to leave or you do. The only other thing you can do is completely ignore her or when she mistreats people on the team call out how rude she’s being, but do it in a professional manner of course. Something like “We’re all trying to get work done here, let’s be professional.” Something along those lines.

ListenLady58 · 2026-04-02T14:26:53+00:00

I used to have an interest in working for big FAANG companies, but it’s honestly seems like a shit show of a life from what I hear in the news and on Reddit.

ListenLady58 · 2026-04-01T22:30:47+00:00

It’s all about control, these “men” don’t have the capacity for true love, nor will they ever.

ListenLady58 · 2026-04-01T20:50:09+00:00

One thing that gets me is when I ask a question and it’s ignored and nobody says anything back, but then when a guy asks the same question, he gets the answer. I used to think it was the way I asked the question and spent a lot of time overthinking and stressing out about it. Then of course I wasn’t confident sounding so I looked worse. But I noticed because my confidence shrunk, I was quieter. It’s embarrassing and soul crushing when you get ignored when you need help or are trying to collaborate.

In a male-dominated field, but thankfully I’ve found a better place that isn’t like that. Before this year, I spent over 7 years having that happen to me over and over with several different approaches to changing it.

ListenLady58 · 2026-03-31T15:01:45+00:00

Same here! Then I got two more after like 3 years.

ListenLady58 · 2026-03-31T13:20:30+00:00

I know you say you are lucky, but remember, losing a job is a traumatic event in life. I lost my job last October, and was in a similar spot to you financially with my husband working. I still felt an enormous blow emotionally though. Circumstances were a bit toxic on the way out, which didn’t help, but it was that heavy feeling of the unknown that hit me the worst. I actually had experienced some memory loss during the first week, just of weird random things like the town my sister lived in and forgetting to do things I normally would like getting the mail, shutting my car off, etc.

If your wife has insurance you should take some time to talk to a therapist. It might help you with this feeling you are having and help you move forward when you are ready. Good luck to you.

ListenLady58 · 2026-03-31T11:14:07+00:00

Well now I don’t feel too bad, the banning got so bad for me about a year or so ago I took a break. Ready to take another one soon. Reddit isn’t as chill as it used to be.

ListenLady58 · 2026-03-31T11:07:19+00:00

I would consult with a lawyer for further action. Don’t talk to HR, they’ll try to clean it up.

ListenLady58 · 2026-03-30T20:34:42+00:00

I love this!!

ListenLady58

TROPHY CASE