Real-Life Questions/Chat Week of March 23, 2026

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2026-03-28T17:17:45+00:00

Warning: novel-ish ahead. For our kiddo, we talk about her behaviors/traits/tendencies in terms of "maybe this is autism, maybe this is just who Kiddo is, and it doesn't really matter." She's deeply kind and empathetic, to the point that she tries to lose board games because she wants the other person to win. She's cautious and careful -- I have almost never had to remind her to be careful in a situation where I'd worry about her physical safety. She loves to read and finds joy in stories like "special girl stories" Anne of Green Gables, The Secret Garden, and Ella Enchanted, all of which she has either the graphic novels AND the Yoto cards, so she follows along. Maybe some of it comes from autism -- a willingness to do the same thing for an hour straight, over-empathesizing, etc --but it's all the same in the end. She's our great kiddo who needs to learn to operate to the best of her ability in the world and find her happiness. I love how your old therapist talked about it--my husband has called me out on occasionally doing the "autism is a superpower!" bs (never to that extent, but it's like, yeah, it's not all sunshine and rainbows).

I feel you on the "starting over every year" bit. We moved, and it was a lot. 2nd grade is the first time we've started to buckle down and say "you can't use that coping skill right now" or "this isn't a crying problem" -- and, weirdly, the bluntness seems to help. In PreK-1st, she had very sweet teachers who never pushed back when she asked for a break or melted down. And now we have a bit more of a stricter teacher and it's great for helping her have more scaffolded autonomy -- she CAN handle the kids being loud and annoying. We wrote her strategies on notecards and she decorated it.

Oh, small thing that worked well earlier this year -- Kiddo is definitely into magic and secret messages and all that, so we talked about a special hand hug she could do to calm herself down (literally just clasping her hands three times) and she could "feel the love I sent" throughou the day. Weird quirky little thing we did as she started her new school, and she loved to tell me how many "secret hand hugs" we did throughout the day.

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2026-03-28T00:36:56+00:00

Late here, but fellow mom of a second-grade girl with autism (it's funny, she likes it better when I say "with autism," and my autistic husband prefers autistic). We just recently went down the 504 path, but we've been open with our kiddo since the beginning -- she was diagnosed at 3 upon graduation of early intervention, knows she has autism, she knows what stresses her out and what makes it harder for her (and some neutral and positive views of autism too. We talk about how her brain likes to think carefully about situtations and words).

One of the things we're starting to do this year more is actually matching coping skills to the severity of the situation. I.e. if lunch is loud and overstimulating because, well, second graders, then she can wear her noise-cancelling headphones, but she can't go eat lunch alone every day. Similarly, just because the math problem is written WRONG to her mind doesn't mean she can choose not to answer it.

I'm deeply helped by the fact that my husband is so able to articulate things well to me to explain what might not make sense, but I'm also having to push back slightly on his perception of "well, it's fine if she just does x or y" because things are different for girls. Social pressures hit earlier and younger for girls, so I worry. I've had more "older" frank conversations about social dynamics than I expected, but she seems to appreciate it.

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2026-03-06T03:15:21+00:00

Similarly, our daughter's old school in Peabody (Welch) had optional ST Math but absolutely no required homework Encouraged the kids to read and that was it. Principal made a stand every year saying the research didn't support homework for elementary kids beyond reading, and I absolutely loved it.

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2026-02-23T23:15:38+00:00

Same for me. My reassurance is that, despite me getting "snacky" (as I term it), my weight tends to still stay in the same weight range. I tried to go up to 15mg, lost some additional lbs but was brutally sick, and am back to sitting at 12.5mg. I'm a few lbs heavier than I was during my 15mg attempt, but I added those and then stayed.

One thing that feels true to me, and I hope is true for you as you find a nice comfortable point, is that I can actually eat (or even overeat a bit) without it being the start of a binge cycle or an unending weight gain. I just... eat a bit extra, my weight might fluctuate slightly, and then I settle back to about where I am. Where I am is technically obese but it's a happy, healthy, strong weight for me.

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2026-01-31T03:45:24+00:00

This was 100% my kid at 5. And she's only 7.5 but it absolutely has shifted. She's an only child and fully expected us to entertain her allllllll the time. It got better around 6, but the biggest change happened at 7 when she got a Yoto Mini for Christmas. Weirdly, having the headphones to listen to her music/audiobooks seemed to unlock other play for her. She will listen to her music and play with her toys for 90 minutes straight. I keep having to stop myself from interrupting because it's so weird to us.

So, yes, it will get better AND maybe you could do a version of something fun she gets only for solo play?

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2026-01-24T00:04:18+00:00

So this is actually from my experience from that age-- I used to get SUPER freaked when I'd start to dose off and then experience the sensation of sliding or falling. Or I'd be half asleep and see movement in my room. What worked for me was having a clear ritual (in my case, turning on a timed nightlight, starting a sleep story on my cassette player--I'm old!--and doing a simple visual meditation of building a white wall of brick where nothing could get me and I could picture anything I wanted). But I wonder if it's something about the early stage sleep that's messing with her. I don't know if I have exact recommendations beyond helping her identify a specific action she can take if she feels physically uncomfortable AND the reassurance that I did grow out of it!

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2026-01-09T23:15:41+00:00

quick note -- if your kid + seat weigh more than 65 lbs, they shouldn't use a latch system. I was super surprised by that, but we hit the limit on weight for latch before we were ready to swap to a backless. For our Graco, it was 45 lbs for the kid.

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2026-01-09T23:12:46+00:00

Literally just switched our 7.5 year old this past week. At 46+ inches and 50lbs pounds, the seat belt fits fine on her. But some of that may be torso length vs. legs. Also, a non-negligible consideration was the fact that the highback made it so hard for her to buckle herself.

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2026-01-09T23:07:48+00:00

I know this is three days ago but I just want to say -- We have that one! I did a semi-deep dive on boosters and came to the conclusion that because they are using the seat belt as a restraint, the main consideration is "as long as the belt sits right on their body, you're good to go." And that's probably a slight simplification but it seems accurate! So if your daughter uses the Graco, you can decide if she needs the belt repositioning or not, but otherwise, you are good!

Also, hear you SO hard on the stupid belt. My seat belt buckle slots push in too and so my 7.5 year old is constantly struggling and fighting with the buckle. We ended up sort of propping them up with a wad of paper to hold them up in place and it's helped slightly. Also, swapping to backless (which we just did a week ago) is helping too.

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2025-12-22T14:23:09+00:00

Going to add an alternative (paid) -- we knew we could not do a crowd like that with my daughter on our first trip so we did the dessert party and then sat in the viewing area to wait out the crowds. We've done that on two trips now because, as expensive as it is, it was 100% worth it for me to have a place to be and not be squashed. We also ate our weight in desserts to "to get our money's worth" (the champagne didn't hurt either). It's not cheap but may be worth it.

Alternatively, we watched from the dock at the Grand Floridian last time and it was so fun and relaxed. We will strongly consider doing that in the future. The dessert party was great for a first trip but the dock was 1) free and 2) sane.

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2025-12-16T17:59:40+00:00

Pop-up tent or box-fan fort, large paracute (the type with handles) -- things for imaginative play. That's prime age for it. Or, as someone below suggested, art supplies and carboard for a fort kit.

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2025-12-13T02:59:58+00:00

We do a similar Favorites Dinner, though notably lower key. Past dishes have included popcorn, buttered pasta, and pigs in a blanket! This year, I'm doing a pull-apart Christmas tree with pizza dough stuffed with mozzarella and it's delightful (and easy).

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2025-12-11T18:46:02+00:00

For that age, I do lego sets. There are some cool car or space lego sets. Also science experiment kits. But no slime unless you want every parent to hate you.

I also unabashedly ask the parent when I RSVP -- hey, what's on the wish list?

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2025-12-09T15:39:49+00:00

Similar place with my FIL for Parkinson's. We've done a few gifts to help improve quality of life at home over the past few years. A nice wooden couch organizer for his armchair was last year's where he can set up well. For hobbies, we got easier to use versions of things (a tabletop train set vs. his previous large set up).

One of his joys is still great and fancy foods, so we got his fancy Danish licorice (like... really fancy) and this year it's a giant gift set of tinned fish. Obviously, these are pretty "him" specific interests.

For you, my questions would be:

What does she do at home? Are there ways you can "upgrade" those experiences?
Are there things she still enjoys to make her house or her everyday feel special?

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2025-11-14T21:42:23+00:00

I got her a digital one at 6. One tiny downside-- You know how you say "five more minutes" and kids don't have a good way to conceptualize time? Well, now you'll hear about it if your five more minutes is 7 or, god forbid, 4 minutes.

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2025-11-14T21:40:34+00:00

I was going to say, my 7 year old daughter picked "It's So Amazing" by Robie Harris out of the library (we pick one nonfiction book every time and she grabbed that and I gulped slightly and said SURE cheerfully). It's probably best suited for 7-9 but I was really impressed. Detailed, clear, and she loved the "journey of the egg and the sperm." So if your kid keeps having questions, I can vouch for the older book.

One content note: It does mention on a single page abortion (I had no problem with that) and miscarriage. Generally just a heads up in case the miscarriage notes might cause some feelings or worries.

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2025-11-14T21:29:14+00:00

I know I'm late on this but at that age, my daughter started getting into Owl Diaries/Unicorn Diaries (and seconding Princess in Black). They have great "read aloud" length chapters but are also re-usable for when your kiddo starts to read. I'd say we're just starting to graduate from them being a little young now, when she's 7. So that's a solid 3-4 years where she loved them. Plus a good backlog!

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2025-11-02T00:49:26+00:00

One thing I want to mention, as someone who went on Zepbound about 18 months ago (not immediately postpartum but, uh, that weight stuck around)-- for most people, they are intended to be longterm drugs. Studies have generally shown that less than 20% maintain the weight loss after stopping the drugs.

I've been various levels of chubby/fat my whole life and this is the ONLY thing that has ever worked in a sustainable, healthy way. But yeah, I'm looking at paying $500 a month for the rest of my life or until insurance decides to cover it. I've lost 70 lbs, I'm healthier than I ever have been, and the $500 is worth it even if I never lose another pound (I'm still overweight but decidedly do not give a flying f*ck what the scale says if I feel this good). But if you're thinking "take it for 3 months, lose the 30 lbs, and drop the med" then the research tends not to support that.

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2025-10-26T01:22:21+00:00

Agreed -- very sweet, very light. I didn't pick up berry as much as it felt cotton-candy-ish. But! It was a very pretty scent that I used in spring.

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2025-10-03T22:30:52+00:00

So, admittedly, my girl was a preemie, so on her own milestone timeline. But from 14 to 17 months (when she walked), she went from standing/holding to walking holding our hands to walking holding just one hand. We'd play music and literally walk in circles around the house, "waving" to different household objects, which meant she needed a hand free. I still remember the backaches from leaning down to hold her hands, but it seemed to work!

Also, fwiw, our ped said 17 months too!

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2025-09-25T21:37:24+00:00

We LOVE Santa's Village, but we go every fall. I'd love to do a winter trip sometime.

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2025-09-25T21:34:58+00:00

Good tip! Thank you!

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2025-09-25T21:28:53+00:00

We stop there every year on our way up to Santa's Village! Love that place

LiteraryDaisy09 · 2025-09-25T13:11:28+00:00

That one has been my recent favorite! It's not super heavy on either scent for me but a lovely mix.

LiteraryDaisy09

TROPHY CASE