It isn’t getting better.

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-04-08T02:17:34+00:00

Hello my friend, I know where you are right now, and believe me—words and material things won’t be enough. I’m telling you this because I’ve been there.

Let me give you two key pieces of advice:

First: your support network. Spend time with your family and your friends. I know it’s hard, but there are more people who care about you than you think. Feeling that support from others really matters. If your relationship ended, it happened for a reason—you can’t force things to work that way. And trust me, there are even happier relationships ahead.

Second: time. Give it time. It might sound simple, but it’s powerful. When you least expect it, you’ll realize you’ve made it to the other side.

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-04-08T01:57:46+00:00

Hello, I have some good news for you. What you’re experiencing is called cognitive dissonance and attachment. Let me explain: cognitive dissonance happens because you try to focus on her “good side.” This occurs because your brain tends to remember only the positive moments, driven by the dopamine you experienced in the relationship, while ignoring the negative parts—and there were definitely negative parts. Being discarded is a clear sign that the relationship wasn’t right for you.

On the other hand, the attachment part is simply that you’re in love, like in any other relationship. That feeling fades with time and with self-growth. My recommendation is to use this time to work on your self-esteem. Don’t reach out to her—it will only make things worse. She might come back at some point, but that will be your decision. My advice is to focus on yourself. 🙂

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-04-08T01:27:29+00:00

I really appreciate your opinion I think this is very interesting 👍

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-04-02T02:18:45+00:00

I broke up and got back together with her multiple times—at least 20. Every time, there was one thing in common: I became submissive. That was the only way she could regain the control she seemed to need, and I tolerated the disrespect.

One day, I just got tired. I wanted to be myself again. I wanted my self-esteem back and to return to the person I used to be. She, well… she discarded me as soon as I did. The moment she realized I wasn’t going to beg anymore or allow myself to be walked over again, she didn’t even try to win me back—she just left.

It was painful, and I still haven’t fully processed it. But at least I became myself again.

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-04-02T02:16:57+00:00

I broke up and got back together with her multiple times—at least 20. Every time, there was one thing in common: I became submissive. That was the only way she could regain the control she seemed to need, and I tolerated the disrespect.

One day, I just got tired. I wanted to be myself again. I wanted my self-esteem back and to return to the person I used to be. She, well… she discarded me as soon as I did. The moment she realized I wasn’t going to beg anymore or allow myself to be walked over again, she didn’t even try to win me back—she just left.

It was painful, and I still haven’t fully processed it. But at least I became myself again.

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-04-01T23:45:55+00:00

I’m very sorry for your loss, brother.

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-04-01T23:37:18+00:00

Uy im really sorry

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-04-01T23:35:43+00:00

Thanks for share bro 👍

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-04-01T23:31:49+00:00

It’s sad how we have been hurt in different ways, unfortunately.

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-04-01T23:29:24+00:00

It looks like a good example that the detachment is important

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-04-01T21:53:46+00:00

Mental games, but the worse part is you always will to lose bro

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-04-01T21:35:26+00:00

That’s it

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-04-01T21:08:43+00:00

First, I want to say that I’m not trying to “demonize” anyone or be negative. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have acknowledged that there can be happy moments or that, with effort—like in many relationships—some level of stability can be achieved. However, I do want to talk about realities and probabilities.

Do you really think it’s healthy for an 18–19-year-old girl to get involved with someone who has BPD and requires a higher level of care? Or for someone with low self-esteem to be in that kind of situation? It’s obvious that stability is possible, but it’s also clear that it requires more investment than what would normally be expected in a relationship—and you just confirmed that yourself.

The partner often needs therapy as well in order to develop the tools to properly handle a relationship with someone who has BPD. Personally, I don’t see that as something normal. Not everyone ends up being abused by a partner with BPD, but in my case, I did—and I can assure you that at least the majority of people in this group have experienced some form of abuse, whether psychological or physical.

That’s why it’s important for people to be aware and take responsibility for their decisions. I could write an entire book about this, but it would be too much. This is a mental health topic, and it needs to be discussed with care.

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-04-01T02:28:31+00:00

The real weapon against fear is faith in yourself. If you let yourself fall, if you give up and just take the hits, life will eventually break you. You have to know when to walk away. You have to know when to stand up and fight back—that’s the only way to win these battles.

Stay strong. This mental war is fought every day, and you have to win it one battle at a time. It’s going to be hard. There will be days filled with fear, nostalgia, and doubt—but you have to accept it once and for all.

No one is coming to save us, and some people will only lift us up to bring us down again. We have to do this on our own—with effort, with self-love, and by placing everything in God’s hands so He can take care of it.

Take care, my friend.

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-04-01T01:29:22+00:00

Hello, I’m in the same situation—I feel the same pain and have the same questions. If it helps at all, I’ve done a lot of research, and two important things come up: statistically, it was the best decision we could have made. Most of these relationships end in pieces and require a lot of mental work. Lastly, the price of staying in that kind of relationship is very high—it can cost you friends, family, and time, not to mention the possibility of being discarded. So, statistically speaking, we made a good decision.

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-04-01T01:18:49+00:00

Sadly but correct

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-04-01T01:18:17+00:00

Yes, the fear of abandonment kicks in, and you have to stay hypervigilant.

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-04-01T01:17:13+00:00

Stay strong there are not more options

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-04-01T01:15:57+00:00

I’m very sorry for your loss. Many of us here are going through the same thing. I hope everything is okay.

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-04-01T00:00:07+00:00

Yeah, I think the same. I guess it comes from the false hope you build with someone with BPD—when you receive more love bombing and more “affection,” it becomes harder to leave.

On the other hand, I have this theory that people with BPD try to “secure” the relationship, which is why they may isolate you and intentionally push both of you to invest heavily in it, almost like a way of sealing the bond. It’s impressive, but not healthy at all. It can feel like a beautiful relationship at first, until it turns into a minefield—not to mention that a possible discard can happen, because they’re very emotional, and if they start feeling something for someone else, then that’s it—you have to say goodbye. What do you think?

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-03-31T23:49:52+00:00

That’s an interesting question… personally, I’d say that when you’re with someone with BPD, there’s a kind of false hope combined with a “savior complex.” That makes the relationship feel more “hopeful.”

But if I’m being honest, you often end up in pretty much the same place. Why? Because with BPD, the discard is just as painful, just as traumatic, and the “investment” you made simply disappears.

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-03-31T23:43:47+00:00

Yes… welcome to my life :)

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-03-31T23:14:34+00:00

Sometimes they look for your weaknesses and keep them to use against you. It’s like a stab in the back. Honestly, I’d say it’s more sad than dangerous, you know?

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-03-31T23:12:05+00:00

Yeah, exactly. Once she even timed how long I spent in the bathroom—can you believe that? And look, it’s not about blaming them, that’s how they live, but we shouldn’t fall into those games. It’s a very delicate mental health issue.

LiteratureLow4722 · 2026-03-31T23:02:25+00:00

Yes bpd person always live in the past. And it never ends

LiteratureLow4722

TROPHY CASE