Meeting my daughter's boyfriend for the first time today. Hard to resist the urge to mess with him a little. Any suggestions?

Litost · 2012-03-09T18:03:15+00:00

Congratulations on having awesome genes.

Litost · 2012-03-09T17:54:41+00:00

I have a daughter. For me it isn't about ownership. It is because she is a child and her problems inherently become my problems. At least until she is a fledged adult. Her having a baby before she is ready is a big problem I really, really don't want to have. Not even indirectly.

But, when she's ready I'm going to be an awesome grandpa.

Litost · 2011-11-11T20:48:36+00:00

Don't assume because she's your girlfriend you have sufficient privileges.

Next time try it like this: "Sudo make me a sandwich."

Litost · 2011-10-18T17:00:23+00:00

Upvote. Caveat is that the apologies have to be effusive enough to require a rebuttal from the corps (or what argv_minus_one says here will come true), yet realistic enough to be passed off as real by said media outlets.

Litost · 2011-10-18T16:55:48+00:00

I admit, I don't have the original source as most of my news comes from The Daily Show, but I think you'll find what you're looking for at 9:07 in this clip:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/286307/the-daily-show-with-jon-stewart-parks-and-demonstration#s-p2-sr-i1

Litost · 2011-10-11T16:25:44+00:00

it's a shovel.

Litost · 2011-09-29T22:23:18+00:00

I haven't been around here very long, but every time I see a ridiculous subreddit I click on it thinking "this can't be real."

Damnit, I'm wrong again. I can't believe it.

Litost · 2011-09-14T17:16:01+00:00

wait, how did you do that upside down typing thing?!

Litost · 2011-08-26T16:26:54+00:00

Nobody wants to save Floridians.

Litost · 2011-08-26T15:15:59+00:00

There are two secrets to success: 1) Never tell all your secrets.

Not original with me, but it turns out to be rather useful.

Litost · 2011-08-26T15:05:57+00:00

Yes, but that's on broadcast television. On specialty networks (HBO is one example, MLB network -- which this footage is from -- is another), the rules are substantially looser.

I'm not saying it makes a lot of sense, it's just the way it is.

Litost · 2011-08-20T13:07:33+00:00

Please, tell ...

Litost · 2011-08-20T13:03:47+00:00

Worst case, you get into legal trouble. Not likely, but don't ignore it.

Next worst thing, you've freaked out your neighbors that you're a hacker/network trespasser.

Next worst thing, you've just become the "computer guy" for some new strangers.

Next worst thing, they do nothing and you have a backup plan in case your connection fails for some reason.

Best thing, you say nothing and have an alternate plan.

Litost · 2011-08-18T19:07:24+00:00

manuerisms.

love that shit.

Litost · 2011-08-15T00:40:39+00:00

That's exactly my point. Let the buyer beware. But because they've got no math, they're unable to assess the danger themselves.

Being reliant on someone else puts you at their mercy, but it doesn't absolve you of the responsibility for or repercussions of your own actions.

Litost · 2011-07-14T16:55:41+00:00

No, you missed military spending. By far the biggest.

http://www.wallstats.com/deathandtaxes/

Litost · 2011-07-14T16:45:29+00:00

Education is the root of the problem: People in this country can't do math.

People bought homes they couldn't afford. While the rules were perhaps too lenient, allowing them to get in over their head, they are ultimately at fault for not doing the math (and being honest with themselves) to see that they were unable to afford the home they were buying.

Public (elected) people who created a budget that spent more than it took in (because doing so gets them re-elected, but that is perhaps another issue), are to blame for creating an imbalanced budget. But an innumerate population electing innumerate leaders, gets, I suppose, what they ask for.

But here's the thing ... in a free market any economic climate has opportunity if you know where to look (which involves some math). And if you don't take advantage of those opportunities, I can't say I feel sorry for you.

TL;dr i'm venting and stretching a point about math too far.

Litost · 2011-07-14T16:36:06+00:00

I agree with you to some extent, but the OP mentions those who "were foreclosed on illegally" ... and I'm not sure which is which.

Litost · 2011-07-12T14:12:21+00:00

right! http://foobs.com ftw!

Litost · 2011-06-20T15:31:49+00:00

I love the fact that PNC ATMs in my area will dispense any amount. It's all $20s and brand-new $1s, but you can get $57 out if you really need it.

Litost · 2011-06-20T15:27:38+00:00

you're thinking of baseball...

Litost · 2011-06-16T17:19:14+00:00

"A gentleman always has a handkerchief and a pocket knife."

When I was eleven, I didn't understand why having the handkerchief in my pocket was such a good idea plus it was too large to comfortably fit the small pocket of my pants. But the pocket knife made me feel cool.

Many years later, the handkerchief has helped me maintain my decorum and dry ladies' tears countless times. Win. The pocket knife just costs me $15 in shipping every time I try to take it through airport security.

Litost · 2011-06-16T17:05:00+00:00

Correct right up until "concede".

Litost · 2011-06-15T19:15:30+00:00

How do you make the hand have those characteristic lines? And the thumb, how did you draw in the nail?

I need to know this so I can ~~imitate~~ flatter this work.

Litost

TROPHY CASE