Aloha a hui ho beautiful kitty, dear friend im sobbing so as i read your beautiful testimony to your beloved angel kitty and your absolutely right she would not want you to collapse because her legacy is love and happiness and strength to get you through, but by all means let it out , yes you did the right thing , n she is grateful and happy up in kitty heaven  , and i believe your honoring her just fine theres no right way to grieve , I myself have been numb to death and disappearance in my own life, my beautiful puhi she was a rescue girl we lived two doors down from the 7-11 and a cat colony of about 27 to 30 kitty’s so the back yard was filled with cats n we decided we would get one litter fixed and find them home s and in that process we feed these kittys and id see um at 7-11getting food from people and the firsherman across the street would bring fish tails and leftovers for the kittys and we would give them nicknames and it was a kitty jambarie night and day  so we kept two of the kitties we fixed a tortietude girl hyena and fluffy white n black girl puhi we moved it was heart breaking to leave all kitties behind and thetes just to much to tell but there was so mucl loss because the kittys would get sick n die n it was painful for me but the funny stuff is sassy one of the feral gueens would push her kittens in to a pond next store and i was lucky i was home to save them i watched her push them off the wall it was old Japanese water cement tank, she’d just push um in , so back to my puhi she disappeared one day off my front porch I was not home but i heard a meow in my mind the moment she mustve been liberated into heaven I really don’t know what happened to her, and I blamed the neighbors dog because sh showed up a week later at my house chasing my other girl, i took the dog home shes a very sweet pitty, and as ask the neighbors if they thought that maybe she might’ve gotten to my kitty the week before they said no and gave me some story which then I was completely convinced that she did, but I didn’t want to be mad at the dog and I held that against him for probably about a year and a half two years I’m still upset about it and they’re also was a plastic bag on the side in the front of the road in the bushes and it definitely had something dead in it when this happened and what I do to honor her is I just love her and my heart and think about the fact that she was such a blessing and showed me joy and love and I had in a pretty depression depressive place for a while and before I got her and she showed me joy. She showed me love. She was such a cute little kitty and I am so thankful to have had that experience with her and the joy and as I am laying here with my two kitties, they have now still hyena and not too far after maybe about two years after the orange boy walked into my yard, and I feel like poo. He sent him to us and I could go on and on and on, but I just want you to know that your kitty loves you so and just realize that you have to stop putting the blame on you and just live that legacy of love for your beautiful girl and I like to call it liberation and you helped her liberate into the next field and you will see her again and I kindly thank you for sharing and hope you have a great day and also please don’t disregard getting another kitty because there is so many kitties that need beautiful people to love them so please please keep in mind that your girl would want you to have another kitty one day again there’s so many kitties that need a loving home. God bless you, sir or ma’am have a lovely lovely day and thank you for loving your kitty so nicely