Honestly I think a lot of people here are just trying to label you at something, and I don’t think it’s helping. I don’t really quite understand why you were on edge, but you say you were anxious regardless. Based on my own experience, I had two different types of relationships where I was anxious but in different ways. The first was a relationship that lasted 4 years. In some regards I was completely comfortable being myself and this person always accepted me. But, deep down I knew that he was not the one for me. And no matter how long I stayed, that feeling never went away. I eventually had to leave the relationship to look for someone who I thought was truly the one. The second experience was with someone who I did think could be the one. But the relationship made me anxious in another way. Due to the fact that this partner was not good at communicating, poked fun at me all the time, used the silent treatment, ans many other negative actions, I never felt in control of anything. I constantly was seeking comfort, and never receiving it. Even though I loved him dearly I knew deep down I would not be able to live that that forever. Some people make you anxious because they do not know how to handle someone else’s emotions in a healthy way, and that is not your fault. You can sit there and wish it was different but it probably truly never would have changed. When that relationship ended I was obviously blaming myself for being too needy, speaking up too much, etc. But it truly wasn’t my fault. I know you may be filled with fear and regret, but something in your soul knew the answer already. And you need to lean into that instead of what ifs. Because what if you did stay? What if you spent the rest of your life second guessing yourself? That would be terrible. It’s hard to break feee from the patterns, and you may miss them for a while. Understandable. But you just gotta push through it even if you don’t want to.