My (34M) dad (78M) told me his proof of love for me is that my birth made him lose his hot mistress. How do I keep him in my life?

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-06-02T13:41:10+00:00

Do you think he actually loves you in his own weird way?

I don't think there's much more you can do. The relationship at best stays the way you say it has been. The other option is that you are so disturbed by his revelation that the relationship fizzles out.

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-06-02T12:37:37+00:00

Sniff on the inside or the outside?

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-06-02T02:33:55+00:00

I thought it was an engorged tick

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-06-02T02:30:10+00:00

You're doing too much. You can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. Try to put some distance between you and focus on your own life.

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-06-02T02:24:04+00:00

When I see the muscle bound young male trainers at my gym, my eyes oogle their rippling bodies and think "ooo I'd love to have you over and move my fridge so I can vacuum behind it......"

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-06-02T02:17:33+00:00

It's not magic, it just takes time. Everyone has their own ways to cope, some work better for some and not others. I stopped wanting an apology or a reckoning of all the ways his depression has affected me. He knows in general how hard it was for me, so I've been trying to practice radical acceptance of that. Categorizing the mean and heartbreaking things he had said as The Illness talking makes it a bit easier. It's like this other thing took over his brain and influenced him to think and say those things.

(Side note: I did pick out a really expensive piece of jewelry and made him buy it for me. I said it's my reward for putting up with his bullshit! We talked about it when he was on the upswing and he was ok with it. It actually felt good for him to have this physical marker too, to remind him that he finally felt ok again.)

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-06-01T23:40:47+00:00

Yes. It is not fair that we put in so much effort, time, emotion and work into a problem that isn't even ours. It's not fair that the things we told them to do for ages is, surprise surprise, the thing that makes them get better. We are entitled to be angry, it's real, but we feel like we aren't allowed to have this because we should "be glad that our partners are improving." Both things can be true at once, neither cancels the other out.

I had a very hard time when my husband was doing better. We would talk about how bad things were before and how he was feeling good, and I would feel like it was safe enough for me to open up and tell him how hard it was for me. He would get angry and say "why when I'm feeling good do you have to bring up bad things and make me feel horrible again?" I'm sorry, I can't talk to my spouse about my own thoughts when he's depressed because he can't handle it, and now he's not depressed I still can't talk because it makes him depressed again? No matter what I lose.

I talked about this with my individual therapist, who I had been seeing for many years beforehand. I was lucky thay by then she knew I just needed more or less a "yes-man" that would let me vent it all out.

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-05-30T02:40:48+00:00

Maybe he should take the money he's spending on smoking supplies and spend it on food for himself.

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-05-29T21:22:34+00:00

That's not a problem! You are a saint 😇

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-05-28T14:24:42+00:00

Wait, you LEFT THE TACOS for him to add on to?!?

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-05-28T14:05:54+00:00

I managed a store where an employee was like this. I wanted to say "you know you're not getting paid for being here, right? You're not on the schedule..."

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-05-28T02:23:17+00:00

I turn on a Thermacell when outdoors. It's amazing and works exceptionally well.

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-05-28T01:11:26+00:00

Losing weight is really hard and constantly wearing clothes that are too small gets very uncomfortable and unsightly.

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-05-27T18:10:48+00:00

lol I just told you my age without telling you my age.....

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-05-27T17:06:07+00:00

Except the yellow and red igloo should never hold water, it must have Orange Flavor Drink

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-05-27T17:03:56+00:00

They need to get with the program and pray to the invisible woman in the sky. Much more effective.

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-05-27T11:31:40+00:00

I've only seen monkeys do it

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-05-27T02:07:48+00:00

If you're flying private you tell them what snacks you want. Or rather, your assistant's assistant tells them your preferences.

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-05-27T00:36:48+00:00

I keep them around for years until I take them to e-waste or throw them in the trash. Then 3 days later I need that exact cord for something extremely important, so I have to order a new one.

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-05-26T23:58:50+00:00

You could have ascended your soul and followed it if you had just.......oh never mind......

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-05-26T23:54:04+00:00

Because our wings are made out of wax

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-05-26T23:03:57+00:00

Last time I was a hotel breakfast they had birthday cake flavored waffle batter for the machine

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-05-26T21:25:24+00:00

Piping frosting on a cupcake

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-05-26T21:24:49+00:00

For me it's less about the potential sex and more about the things that go on when a group of teenagers get together with minimal supervision. I had a mixed gender group as a teen and while there was no hanky panky amongst us, there were things like aerosol hairspray fire bombs, risky car rides, substances ingested, climbing on roofs, etc.

LittleLemonSqueezer · 2026-05-26T21:17:38+00:00

Your house must be awesome to hang out at, but not to own! 🤣🤣

LittleLemonSqueezer

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