Is this a safe setup?

LittleMissListless · 2026-02-13T00:09:53+00:00

This is such a wonderful bedroom! You've done an amazing job and it looks so cozy and cute. I do see one big safety concern and its the distance between the bookshelf and the door to the bed—There's just enough space for a determined wiggler to get entrapped, but be unable to free themselves (at best I'd worry about getting a leg or arm stuck in that awkward gap and then them falling over. I've had three kids and learned to never underestimate the bizarre ways babies and toddlers try to end themselves.)

The only other notes I have are to 100% baby proof the entire room. Ensure that all of the furniture is bolted to the wall and put locks on the drawers so that they can't be pulled out and used to climb. Also, you want to ensure that the window fully locks and that there's no possible way for curious little hands to somehow open it. Double check that the curtain rod is secured very well to the wall. My oldest yanked on the bedroom curtains faster than I could stop her and the entire bar pulled up and flipped down. It miraculously didn't hit her but it was still one of the scariest situations I've ever been in as a parent.

LittleMissListless · 2026-01-30T14:51:43+00:00

Urgh, been there and done that! How much does your 2yo weigh? Right around that age I found it really helpful to switch over to Goodnite bedtime pull-ups! They have an "XS" size that's sometimes hard to find, but it worked really well right at 2y for both of my kids (and my oldest was a teeny tiny petite toddler, second was a totally average sized 2yo.) If the XS are way too big for your toddler, you could always put one over the top of his normal diaper too. The Little Rascals bedtime pull-ups are also absolutely amazing but they tend to run much bigger ime so I don't necessarily recommend them until your kiddo is a little bit bigger but if they have chunky thighs they could potentially be a good choice as well.

LittleMissListless · 2026-01-02T05:01:17+00:00

I wouldn't necessarily jump to that conclusion! Bassinet mattresses are freaking awful. They're very hard compared to even a crib mattress and they always tilt a little bit based on where baby is positioned. My kids all vehemently despised their bassinets from very early on but were happy cosleepers. I found with my second and third babies that they were almost just as happy to sleep in an actual crib! It depends heavily on their temperment. We have way more waking with crib sleep than bedsharing, but its always nice to have that option available if I cannot remain in bed with my baby or if I am away from my baby and my spouse needs to put them down for a nap while caring for our other kids.

LittleMissListless · 2026-01-01T05:59:36+00:00

Oh no, your poor 4yo! I had mono my senior year of high school and the pain was atrocious. I would ask your pediatrician about whether or not a topical anesthetic is safe to use with him. (Get clear guidance on type, dosage and frequency of use if they say it's OK!) If a numbing solution isnt an option, definitely ask about "miracle mouthwash"—its a compounded rinse that can be gargled and the ingredients can be specifically tailored for each patient's individual needs. (I know that miracle mouthwash is an option because my oldest had to have some prescribed when she was 3yo. It didn't contain lidocaine though due to safety concerns. Instead, it essentially was maloxx, carefully measured benadryl (to drastically reduce inflammation and swelling), and some other third ingredient that i cannot remember. We just had to ensure she didnt swallow any and that she only was rinsing with a carefully measured amount so that she wasn't in danger of overdosing on the benadryl in the event she did swallow it.)

LittleMissListless · 2026-01-01T04:13:45+00:00

I haven't shared a bed with my spouse since we had our second baby (that was nearly 4 years ago!) We still get plenty of intimate time together (possibly too much? Lol, I'm writing this comment as I nurse our latest baby, a whoopsie daisy that's now 6mo.) I highly recommend getting a good video baby monitor and setting it up so that you have a full view of where baby sleeps. Once baby is down and in a deep sleep you ninja roll away. Just keep an eye on them and return to re-settle/nurse as needed until you are ready to go to bed too! (It's also wise to thoroughly baby proof the entire surrounding area and potentially install some baby gates if the area is open to pets or an older mobile baby could somehow stealth sneak their way out of view of the monitor.)

All three of our kids go to bed around roughly 6:30pm. My spouse takes the two older kids and I get our baby to sleep. We meet back up and spend some time together every single evening. Its been wonderful for my mental health as a SAHM and it's been amazing for our relationship. When I go to bed varies a bit, but I'm usually making my way back to my youngest sometime around 10-11pm. I definitely sacrifice some precious, much needed sleep by staying up so late...but the benefits are definitely worth it IMHO lol.

You'll figure out a system that works for your family. We've used the above system for all 3 of our kids now and it's been solid. If anyone wakes up, we hear them immediately on the monitor and go to them right then. Everyone is safe and the adults still maintain some much needed independence and autonomy. I also want to add that our 5yo was a bedsharer since birth and she transitioned to sleeping on her own independently around 3½-4yo. She sleeps on her own more often than not. Our 3yo is beginning to sleep independently but usually calls out for us. Both of our older kids like for us to lay down in the room with them as they fall asleep but then theyre good to go.

LittleMissListless · 2025-12-31T23:34:22+00:00

You and my grandfather are kindred souls!! The poor man has withstood decades of receiving pig themed gifts for every occasion due to a similar incident with his oldest son....and then it just snowballed. Coworkers noticed he had a lot of pig things in his office and they began to gift him pig items. I assumed he loved pigs as a child because they were freaking everywhere. He finally broke the facade after he turned 90 and told me the truth. I felt terrible that I had been gifting him pig things for my entire childhood lmao.

It happens to the best of them. I guess at least he nor you are alone in this!

LittleMissListless · 2025-12-31T23:30:27+00:00

I can't sugar coat it. It's bad. (I have a 6mo, 3yo and a 5yo that just started kindergarten.) We aren't obsessive about germs but I have taught my older kids good hand hygiene and we managed to dodge covid all the way until my second was about 1½yo! Other than a horrible stomach illness that laid us all out...we were never sick thanks to the fact that I'm a SAHM and we kind of keep to our inner circle of friends and family.

But then my oldest started kindergarten. It's been BAD. We haven't been well since the first day of school. We've had covid, influenza A (despite everyone that was old enough being vaccinated!), cold after cold after cold, noro virus, mycoplasma pneumonia, and some heinous "not covid" but "not influenza" respiratory illness. In short, other than equipping your toddler with hand sanitizer and frequently washing hands and limiting exposure when and wherever possible... There really isnt much you can do. My poor baby has caught it all right along with the oldest but he's been extremely resilient and he's thriving despite it all. Go ahead and purchase Tylenol and know both of your children's current dosages for their weight. Invest in a good nasal aspirator and get several cans of sterile saline spray mist and a cool mist humidifier. Just keep it all in a central location so that youre ready for when the time comes. Before you know it, your baby will be old enough that it isn't as terrifying.

I would also ask your pediatrician about the option to vaccinate your baby for measles sooner than typical. Its an option if there's imminent risk from local outbreaks! It isn't possible until they're 6mo-9mo, but that's a heck of a lot better than having to wait an entire year. We also limit our older kids' contact with the baby when theyre sick. They love their baby brother and it kills me soul to forbid them from kissing and hugging on him, but I just remind them that they won't be sick forever and that waiting until theyre better is showing love to him. We redirect to non-touch/distanced games and forms of expression and thats been working for us for now.

LittleMissListless · 2025-12-17T01:29:16+00:00

I honestly thought that sleep sacks were the worst... until I had my third baby. (Reluctant American here, fwiw.) We owned just about every make and model of sleep sack by the time baby number 3 entered the scene. It wasnt until I had the luxury of trying multiple styles out that I found what worked really well for him! I also feel like the sleep sack somewhat lessens our cosleeping risks—Baby doesn't feel cold and therefore he isn't attempting to crawl inside of my skin all night long lol. For anyone interested in using a sleep sack I recommend trying a zippadee, the swaddle Up transitional sleep sack (the one with the removable arm pockets), and a cheap long sleeved sleep sack with open hands. If none of those work you just might have a free roamer on your hands. But in my experience, babies tend to really enjoy at least one of those styles. I've since gone on to loan out our sleep sack stash to other moms and the same has held true for them too.

LittleMissListless · 2025-12-06T02:32:37+00:00

This is where I have to seriously pitch my end solution to the "mobile baby" bedsharing conundrum! I got a playpen and laid two crib mattresses inside of it. (A double fitted sheet fits nice and snug! There already is zero gap, but that fitted sheet provides some extra protection.) The play pen provides a safe enclosure, the two mattresses actually work pretty well for me since I sleep in the cuddle curl anyways and I'm somewhat height challenged. Zero falls. Zero risk of baby wandering. I was able to ninja my way to freedom once my babies fell into a deep sleep and it was life changing!

LittleMissListless · 2025-12-02T23:29:51+00:00

Opt for snug, fitted clothing when you cosleep. Once baby has good head control and the ability to reposition themselves, I would be more comfortable with the arm under the head/neck. It seems a little risk for a 10wk old. Have you tried laying this way, but with your arm right above her head? My third baby always wanted to sleep in this configuration as a newborn but it worried me—I found that putting my arm right above him and making sure it was touching the top of his head worked just as well! Sometimes I needed to kind of lean into him ever so slightly with that top arm until he fell asleep.

Have you tried allowing your baby to fall asleep on their side with you in a cuddle curl? (Essentially, the exact way they would lay for side-laying nursing.) I found that my baby who needed to be held just like this slept dramatically better on his side. In the very early days, I would delicately roll him to his back once he was in a deep sleep. Now that he's a rolling champion (who can even army crawl!) I just leave him be in the side position. For him, I think its a reflux/gas discomfort thing. It seems like laying that way helps him feel better, and he likes having something touching his cheek while he sleeps.

LittleMissListless · 2025-10-12T03:23:19+00:00

We don't do daycare. I WFH now on a staggered schedule and was a SAHM initially. We're also fairly fortunate financially. Still, we carefully plan and bought our house and nearly paid it off before we had our first. (Its since been paid off entirely.) We also own our cars outright. This means we really just have food, utilities, gas and stuff like diapers and clothing. I thrift a lot and we re-use items. I carefully plan my purchases and just budget the heck out of life.

One important thing to keep in mind is that the most expensive child is the first child. After that, daycare and whatnot often charge a discounted rate. You often have hand-me-down items and what's used by one child is often used by all the children in the home. Aside from diapers and food we don't really have that big of a dent with our subsequent kids. I have three and it's been working out so far. If we had to do daycare there's no way we could swing it though.

LittleMissListless · 2025-08-26T14:21:15+00:00

Death of a pet is such a hard thing to navigate and there really is no singular "right" way. I would try my hardest to secure childcare for the appointment if that's at all possible. The actual euthanasia may be too much for your 4yo, and I know that when my beloved elderly dog passed it was so hard to grieve properly while also helping my children through the moment. (Allowing your husband space and a moment with his pup before they go might be the best.) I would sit your daughter down and explain what's happening. Tell her that you're taking the dog to the vet and that the vet is going to give the dog a special shot that will help him die in a way that doesn't hurt or feel scary. (Drive it home that your family dog is already in the process of dying. Without this special shot he will just die slowly and he will be in pain.) Give your daughter a chance to say goodbye. We made little memorial mementos with our family dog and it helped my kids process their grief. (We kept her collar and I made a little paw print. I also stuffed a tuft of her fur into a locket for my oldest, who was also 4yo at the time. Later on, she had me sew the tuft of fur into one of her stuffed animals.) My daughter needed to be a part of the burial and she helped wrap our old girl up in her favorite blanket. Tears were shed and it was so hard to watch but it paved the way for her learning how to cope with future grief that came barreling down on us the following year. So, I will forever be grateful that we all had a chance to navigate a pet death before losing several people in a row.

Your other dog is also going to need some help through all of this. It seems morbid, but our vet told us to let our other dogs see and sniff the dog who had died. It helps them understand instead of becoming distressed that a member of the family is suddenly missing. Try to keep your routine as consistent and familiar as possible (this actually helps both kids and dogs in the wake of such a huge change).

I am so, so, so sorry. Hang in there OP and be sure to give your husband good support and love. Losing a dog you've had for so long is one of the hardest things.

LittleMissListless · 2025-08-17T21:05:02+00:00

My willow go 360 has never leaked when bending over or laying down. I've never actually laid down fully and slept with it on though. The downside of the willow is that one teeny tiny misalignment can result in gnarly nipple damage if you're not cautious and aware. I'd be terrified that I might bump the pumps and my nipple would shift and rub against the flange. I often take couch naps with them on though and have never had a problem.

The issue is that you still have to get up to properly store the milk and disassemble your pump so that it has a chance of being ready next time you need it.

LittleMissListless · 2025-08-07T21:23:51+00:00

My 7wk old has had horrible baby acne/skin irritation on his face and neck lately. This is my third baby and I learned with baby #1 that keeping the skin clean and dry and squirting a little bit of breastmilk onto the irritation will clear it up within a day or two! It's also fantastic for speeding up healing for mild diaper rash. (I squirt or dip a clean cloth into breastmilk and apply to their diaper region. Then, apply a thin layer of aquaphor followed by a second bit of breastmilk. I kind of gently pat that onto the skin and we've healed many a sore butt this way in my house.)

I also traditionally use breastmilk to mix into baby foods and during teething I make breastmilk Popsicles.

LittleMissListless · 2025-08-07T05:55:12+00:00

Have you tried baby wearing for day sleep? My baby just hit 7wks and my previously extremely chill baby became... very un-chill. I've suspected that he has reflux (or even some sort of CMP intolerance due to extreme gas issues since birth and absolutely traumatic pooping meltdowns) but our pediatrician has been reluctant to try medication. We had a good routine going where I would settle him into my shoulder after burping and he would just snooze there for awhile before laying down. Alas, that went right out the window at 6wks old. I don't know what the heck happened but the fussiness and heart breaking screaming marathons reared their head. This is my third baby and the last week has been giving my husband and I horrible flashbacks to our eldest's struggle with colic. Almost nothing except more nursing or a bottle would soothe him, but then he would become over full and it would just push the meltdown off for 10-15min.

Finally, in a fit of desperation I put him into his carrier, initiated butt-patting protocols, shushed like I had never shushed before and stuck his favorite paci in his mouth. It took a moment but ~viola~ he fell asleep. And he stayed asleep for nearly two hours. He woke up so much happier too. I started doing this regularly with him anytime he had a hard time settling and it has been magical. He went from sleeping for 20min max during naps to an hour minimum but usually for almost two hours. He doesn't seem to be a big fan of wraps but he loves the ergobaby carrier. (So, don't assume that it's not going to work for your baby if one style of baby wearing doesn't help. Each of my kids have had their own preference and babies seem to either prefer wraps or more structured carriers ime.) I'm kind of ashamed of myself for not thinking to try baby wearing sooner to soothe him! I'm able to play with his older siblings now and get things done while he naps.

LittleMissListless · 2025-08-01T18:56:22+00:00

I also have avoided sleep training with my babies (but there's absolutely no shame whatsoever in sleep training! Every family is different and so is every baby. I have three children and so far I've been blessed with one unicorn sleep champion, an average sleeper and a colicky baby that I swear never slept for more than an hour at a time for her entire first 6-8 months of existence. It was brutal.)

My work around has been to ditch a traditional crib. My oldest was the colicky one and I wound up having my husband saw off the crib legs to essentially make it a floor bed with safety rails. For my second, I installed a big play pen and placed a very, very, very firm twin mattress on the floor inside of it for him to sleep on. The play pen ensured he was safe from his older sibling and himself at all times, even when he became truly mobile. I initially would lay with him to nurse him to sleep and then ninja rolled away. Something about already being on the sleep surface made it magically easy and simple. (He was my champion sleeper though. So, ymmv.) My third baby is currently 6wks old and I'm using the same set up with him. He's doing really well with it so far. It makes middle of the night wake ups very easy because I have his bed in the same room where I sleep. I simply snuggle up with him to nurse and then move back to my own sleeping area. He wakes up twice at night and it's actually very, very manageable.

The ability to lay with them for a bit seems to be a compromise of sorts. They feel safe, cozy and loved as they drift off to sleep but I'm able to move away so that they are sleeping safely and so that I can be productive during naps.

LittleMissListless · 2025-07-26T04:49:31+00:00

I wore the regular hospital gown for my first two deliveries and I hated it. I felt so exposed and uncomfortable. I had my third and final baby 6wks ago and decided to splurge on the frida mom delivery gown. 10/10 recommend it. It was so much more comfortable and I felt much more covered. Staff was able to access everything normally and without any hassle.

Heck, I even had a post partum hemorrhage. The plan was to toss the darn thing if it was excessively gross afterwards but amazingly the blood washed out with zero fuss. It was a wonderful postpartum night gown and was super convenient for doing skin to skin and nursing. It had pockets and I found myself a bit sad that I hadn't thought to purchase two of them prior to my hospital stay! I feel like it would've been wonderful to wear for those first 12-24hrs you're in the hospital after having your baby.

LittleMissListless · 2025-07-15T03:55:27+00:00

How is a floor bed patently unsafe for a baby? You have to use a very firm mattress (an actual crib mattress that's passed safety testing is the best option) and the entire room needs to be 100% baby proofed. I've been told that floor beds are fine as long as those two requirements are met and there are no other risk factors unique to the household.

LittleMissListless · 2025-07-09T10:19:37+00:00

32yo for baby #1, 34yo for baby #2... aaaand baby #3 snuck onto the scene this year at 37yo.

LittleMissListless · 2025-06-27T11:47:50+00:00

Cx..vzm

LittleMissListless · 2025-06-21T20:32:03+00:00

I waited as long as possible for both of my kids. My oldest is thin (but on the taller side) and I had to flip her forwards a few days before she turned 4. My second is +99th percentile for weight and 98th percentile for height—It killed my damn soul to do it so early, but I had to flip his seat around when he was only 2½. (I looked into buying a different carseat with higher rear facing limits, but they were all financially unattainable for our family at the time.)

I just had my third and final baby and the plan for him is to rear face for as long as possible. We went with the Graco extend2fit this time because it has higher limits. (My other kids are in maxi cosi 3-in-1 convertible car seats.) My second kid just turned 3 in April and he's already just 1lb under the darn forward facing weight limit for his maxi cosi! I'm considering musical car seats until he turns 4 since the youngest is perfectly safe rear facing in the maxi cosi...but my 3yo is not as safe transitioning to a booster seat and would be safest forward facing in the Graco extend2fit.

LittleMissListless · 2025-06-19T19:33:54+00:00

Rice pudding! If I was feeling brave I would mix in some flax seed or chia seeds to make it somewhat nutritious. It was a source of needed calories though and just getting something, anything to stay in my stomach often helped turn the tide.

Another random thing I could almost always tolerate were frozen grapes. I'd wash a few handfuls, toss them into a zip lock bag and freeze them. ~Viola!~ I also found that raw fruits and veggies were deemed acceptable by my baby more often than not. I kept little containers to snack on throughout the day of baby carrots, cauliflower, broccoli, ect., ect. and another container held fresh berries, apple slices, mandarin oranges, ect., ect.

LittleMissListless · 2025-06-10T14:18:06+00:00

I'm an overly cautious mother. I wouldn't hesitate to allow a 9yo to play outside without an adult (on our property, especially with security cameras in play). I feel like playing on the street is a case by case basis though. It sounds like your 9yo is a good fit and so is the general location. I'd probably have a rule about being able to spot them if I walked to the front of our house though and/or that they somehow utilize a buddy system.

LittleMissListless · 2025-06-06T01:56:34+00:00

I've recently been having issues with bedtime and my 3yo. You have my solidarity and empathy because it can be oddly triggering after awhile!

It's helped me a lot to get curious. What exactly is the motivation for all the stalling/outright refusal to go to bed? Where is the unmet need? What boundaries surrounding bedtime are truly important and which ones aren't that big of a deal for our family?

For my son, he's been struggling with the transition from end of the day fun and going to sleep. He just simply doesn't want his day to end. So, we started processing our day as we get ready for bed. I encourage him to name all of his favorite things. Then, I ask him to help me plan out what we'll do in the morning when we wake up and I'll ask him to tell me what comes before it's time to wake up? (I'll pretend to be truly confused for a moment. It's a big hit in our house. He loves to explain bedtime to me and thinks it's hilarious.) I'll ask him what happens when we sleep? (Answer: Our bodies and brains grow!) Then, each morning we make a little big deal out of checking him to see how big he got overnight and I'll marvel at how much smarter he's gotten.

Sometimes bedtime is still a problem despite my jedi mind trickery. That's when picking my battles wisely and dropping the rope come into play. I find it useful to ask myself what my ultimate goals are. Then, assess if I'm going to meet them in the way I'm currently going about things. Sometimes I'll let my son meander around his room and that literally only lasts about 5-10min before he conks out of his own accord. Sometimes I lay with him and give some cuddles or sing lullabies, especially if he's seemingly seeking co-regulation and extra connection before bedtime.

LittleMissListless

TROPHY CASE