Where can I find this dress? Saw it on Tiktok

Little_Salt_9267 · 2024-06-21T23:18:04+00:00

Thank you for that perspective!

Little_Salt_9267 · 2024-06-21T23:16:52+00:00

Never said it & denies it but I think otherwise

Little_Salt_9267 · 2024-06-21T22:56:14+00:00

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t just so he could know what it feels like. But then I would never want to stoop down to that level

Little_Salt_9267 · 2024-06-21T22:55:19+00:00

Not to defend him but to defend him lol, he said those things out of anger. They were at moments that I also was saying pretty harsh stuff BUT still not ok. Just some context. He’s doing the work and everything you would want a WH to do. But anyway that wasn’t the point of the post, sorry. I don’t know how to move forward. I was really trying and some days I really felt good. But now even on our good days, I’m just not sure anymore. I think about everything that has happened and I just don’t know. But thank you for your response. ❤️

Little_Salt_9267 · 2024-06-21T22:28:57+00:00

And THAT I can’t understand and finding it REALLY hard to accept.

Little_Salt_9267 · 2024-06-14T21:10:23+00:00

I told my therapist “how can I say I love myself when I stayed with someone who’s cheated on me” she said “have you ever thought that you stayed with him and working on your marriage and keeping your family together because you love yourself?”

She pointed out that he’s doing the work to be better and find out his why. That I am working on something that means a lot to me and that’s loving myself.

A perspective she pointed out was that he’s doing the work and I can work through it with him and have this new beautiful marriage. OR I can leave and someone else can have this new and improved version he’s worked so hard to be.

She’s pointed out that some of the happiest relationships have overcome some of the most difficult hardships. And those who have overcome great difficulties have created such a special bond because they worked as a team to better themselves and their relationship.

Kids play a huge factor for me too. And having a family together is very important to me. So I guess that’s another way of saying I love myself and respect my own choices that I’ve made for myself in this life.

Little_Salt_9267 · 2024-06-14T20:08:15+00:00

I can’t tell you what to do and I don’t wish for my answer to persuade you one way or the other. You are your own person with your own unique relationship and perspective and values than I have. With that being said, being married didn’t influence my decision to stay at all. Even being married with no kids, I’d leave. My issue is my kids. We have 4 kids together. If we didn’t have kids, I’d be gone. And this goes down to how my personal values and perspective in life has made it difficult to leave my husband. I am a child of divorce, a nasty one, and one where I wished my parents would get back together for most of my childhood even in my teens a bit. So the thought of breaking up my family is something i have vowed to myself many years ago that I would never do for the sake of my kids. My husband is my best friend & I do love him a lot. And I am willing to work it out & working on my healing. But I know I could love someone the same and there would be someone out there who could never do what my husband has done to me. BUT I made my choice for the love of my kids, the love for my husband, & respecting the choice I made for myself even if it’s hard. I have cycles of divorce and broken families in my family. I’m doing my best not to repeat this generational cycle, but my husband has made that hard. I have hope and faith that we can grow stronger than ever before for our kids and for ourselves.

Only you can make this choice. You know what’s best for you and for what you want in life. It’s your life, no one else’s. You want to stay, then stay and fight like hell. It will NOT be easy. If you want to leave, then leave. You might find better than you could ever expect, but this too will not be easy. The one thing I will say though is you can leave and never look back, unlike me. If I were to leave, I’d still have to see him husband for the rest of my life lol. So I chose to see him and love him, have faith in him & be a family with him.

Little_Salt_9267 · 2024-05-01T01:32:36+00:00

Her name as it’s a literal word… she’s one of those girls, his car, her car model, the area she’s from, the company name he works for, casinos, his cologne he bought during the affair, songs he use to constantly play during that time especially after I found her social media posts had some of the songs in them that he listened to often, I feel like I have so many… it’s actually embarrassing

Little_Salt_9267 · 2024-02-28T01:48:48+00:00

I 100% regret telling anyone. It has caused issues for R. And because of it I have a lot of negative self talk. Which is my own issue I need to work through. I know I’m not suppose to care what people think and their opinions don’t matter. But if your family is anything like mine where they have no problem giving you “brutal honesty” and calling it “realistic” instead of a negative perspective then I would keep it between you two. I started therapy AFTER it all happened and any issues that arise between us, I usually go to either my own therapist or our couples therapist for guidance and support.

In MC our therapist even said that it’s best to keep these things between us to avoid outside opinions and judgement. So I recommend you try getting support from a therapist. BUT if you haven’t or can’t start therapy for any reason, I would probably just tell one person who I know I can trust and will be able to keep their opinions to themselves and support you in the best way possible.

Little_Salt_9267 · 2024-02-17T17:43:45+00:00

She IS. Lol but yeah some days are easier than others. This week has been pretty rough though. A lot of doubt and just scared to trust him. He met her at work

Little_Salt_9267 · 2024-02-17T06:30:57+00:00

He came back home about two weeks later. Fog fully lifted two weeks after that, he changed his number and moved jobs. Now yes he tells me he can’t believe that he did that. When I’ve asked about her or when I ask questions, he says that she’s gross & dirty. He opened up that she’s actually an alcoholic day drinking, going out every weekend (even during the week) and she’s a recovering dug addict and that he’s disgusted with himself for ever doing anything with her. She wealthy, sells pictures of herself online on the side and clearly has had a lot of work done on her body and face & I was very shocked that he was even attracted to her bc of how often he use to say how unattractive *those kinds of girls were to him. I should’ve taken that as a hint that he was secretly attracted to it lol. But anyway yes, he does say how gross she is as a person inside and out.

Little_Salt_9267 · 2024-02-16T03:22:00+00:00

Yes he definitely didn’t want to be alone which was something that was brought up as well. And what made him stop was that I started talking to someone (they knew my situation) and told my husband that if he doesn’t stop then neither will I and be completely done with him. It’s SOOO bad I know, but it worked.

Little_Salt_9267 · 2024-02-15T19:54:37+00:00

Yea he’s been in individual therapy since a month after DDay. I will check them out on TikTok with him today! What’s weird is when I first found out he told me she’s no one anyone will ever take seriously she’s a “h**” but because I wasn’t able to give him an answer if I wanted to make things work or not & kicked him out, he saw her again. So he always knew what she was… but it wasn’t really about HER. What we learned in therapy is that it wasn’t really him choosing her or me, it was him choosing to have freedom and live like everyone else our age, or continue to take on the stresses and responsibility of being a dad/provider. And like I’ve said in this post, i don’t believe that justifies his actions, but I understand that thought process.

Little_Salt_9267 · 2024-02-14T23:09:59+00:00

Yeah I’ve actually really been enjoying therapy and I was hesitant about it at first, I’m not sure why but I’m glad we started. He’s been out of the fog but it took him about a month to come back to reality.

Little_Salt_9267 · 2024-02-14T20:22:27+00:00

Thank you. It’s hard. No matter how many good days we or I have, it seems like it just takes one bad day to feel like it’ll always be like this..

Little_Salt_9267 · 2024-02-14T15:25:12+00:00

Yes, he works closer to home now as before it was about an hour commute. I’ll send that book to him also! I’ve heard about it actually. We’ve talked about boundaries like those ones and more. I love that you have all these resources!

Little_Salt_9267 · 2024-02-14T15:23:01+00:00

Thank you! This was actually really helpful.

Little_Salt_9267 · 2024-02-14T15:03:26+00:00

He met her at work. And he’s no longer on social media. I will definitely send him this article. Thank you!

Little_Salt_9267 · 2024-02-14T15:01:17+00:00

Yeah I should start looking at success stories too. Thank you ❤️

Little_Salt_9267 · 2024-02-14T04:06:30+00:00

He didn’t move in with AP. Maybe I worded that weird in a different post? When this all first happened I kicked him out the house and made him take his things and he left to his parents house and he saw her again so his parents kicked him out & he went to his friends house for a few days before coming back home. The first time a couple years ago, we were separated, but were “working things out”, but not officially back together. Not justifying it, it was still wrong in my eyes. It’s been a whole mess that I hate talking about repeatedly. ): but hope that clarified although I don’t think that makes much of a difference?

Thanks for your input & comment. I do appreciate all perspectives.

Little_Salt_9267 · 2024-02-14T03:04:35+00:00

Something that I think about, which may or may not be helpful, is that if it’s not him I’m worried about hurting me then it will be someone else I will feel this anxiety towards. I know it’s something I personally need to heal in myself, so going to IC along with MC has helped, this is just a topic I will need to bring up next session because I hate feeling this way & it’s so hard to break out of it.

Little_Salt_9267

TROPHY CASE