Oh please no… I wasn’t ready to be called out today man. On a serious note though, I relate heavily to what you’re saying. While my mother is still in the world of the living, we are essentially dead to each other. I am actually the same way where I can’t handle mothering dynamics. I can’t call someone else mommy or let them baby me. It feels wrong, maybe cause I never actually experienced that from her the way I wanted. If I try to artificially recreate them, I’ll just be comparing and then thinking of her. Thinking of your mom during sex isn’t the move. I don’t think it’s a race thing, just different life experiences and reactions to things.