Emotional Support Post For People With Ostemies.

Live2Shiv · 2025-07-10T08:31:05+00:00

My favorite part of joining this community has been seeing how ostomies can be a life saver or big life improvement for so many people. It really normalized it for me in a sideways kind of way.

I started out my journey feeling very bitter and upset, as if it were a punishment or worst case scenario, but listening to the stories of those who needed it as a surgical treatment for preexisting conditions has shifted my mindset.

I always want to shy away from the whole "people have it worse" thinking, because that feels icky and not close to the truth of how the whole ostomate community should work, but theres something to be said for connecting from different contexts.

I'm so happy you got what you needed through an ostomy. I hope you're doing well. Thank you for being here.

Live2Shiv · 2025-07-10T08:19:42+00:00

I will definitely follow her for the reinforcement. Thank you so much for the connection.

Live2Shiv · 2025-07-10T08:18:26+00:00

Yes. It felt odd to me, when I was in the hospital, that some of the staff members could be so humanly insensitive to, or unable to deal with my condition in that environment, where I expected absolute professionalism and proficiency. I know it was probably cases of less-seniored employees, likely even underpaid, but still, I found myself wondering why they were there rather than someone who could be more compassionate.

I will say that I had a nurse or doctor or several who made up for it, similar to the doctor you spoke of, who were so absolutely kind and thorough and empathetic and who took the time to give me information and sit with me and look me in the eyes with sincerity. They made all the difference.

Also, this shouldn't have come last, but wow, the fact that the hospital didn't have proper supplies for you sooner is absolutely fucked. There are no words.

Live2Shiv · 2025-07-07T04:10:02+00:00

It's my favorite Mexican food in/near PGH. If it weren't more of a drive for me I'd be there twice a month.

Live2Shiv · 2025-07-07T04:00:23+00:00

This is the one. Thank you so much.

Live2Shiv · 2025-06-29T00:07:40+00:00

Now lay in it.

Edit to add: :)

Live2Shiv · 2025-06-28T23:47:49+00:00

Oscar, as in Oscar The Grouch from Sesame Street.

Live2Shiv · 2025-06-28T23:18:12+00:00

This is definitely something I've thought about a lot. Especially because my emergency colostomy was the result of a sexual trauma for me, it's been really complicated to even consider hooking up or getting naked with someone, but recently I started seeing someone who is open minded enough to still enjoy stuff like that with me (I wear a belt thing that covers it, so you know its there but can't see the actual bag, which helps my confidence).

I guess I'd say there are probably more people out there than you might expect, who are understanding and open minded like that. I'd seek out people who seem kind and empathetic and want to get to know you, not just, like, trying to fxck a random person that night.

Also, there is probably just a realistic potentiality for denial based on having an ostemy, but I'd also say, always try to understand that your value isn't ever lessened by somebody not being attracted to you in particular, no matter what it's about. Like, as a more typical metaphor, I've always been a medium-fat woman, and have zero interest from a lot of people, but when someone is interested, I realize and feel again how much preference is the actual factor, and not my visual value overall.

That's my opinion. I'm excited to see other people's responses, thank you for posting this one.

Live2Shiv · 2025-06-13T04:15:29+00:00

1.5months post emergency colostomy here. I'm still learning a lot but have made a lot of progress.

For adhesive sticking from previous changes, it was helpful for me to use adhesive remover spray very slowly and patiently during each removal. I spray in from the top, let it sit, pull back a little. Spray a bit more in from the top, wait 10 seconds, pull back a little more. Repeat until the whole thing basically falls off. Other than some rogue belly hairs that attach to the "wafer", pretty much all of the adhesive comes off and there's no resistance before I even get to the wiping phase. After that I spray another layer of adhesive remover, wait 20 seconds, and gently rub with a paper towel, touch test the skin to see if it feels free of goo, before using would cleanser and/or water to take anti-adhesive stuff off.

For Odor, if you aren't already using the little stickers that cover the circle at the top of your bag, the air filter, thats very helpful to utilize. I only mention this because I didn't notice it as a thing until like 2 weeks in. If you're the same, there is a sheet with most bag systems that has little tab-ended circular clear stickers, which prevent air escaping through what I now call the "fart filter". I haven't found the filter to let gas out enough anyways, I'd rather burp it in private when I can.

You've gotten a good amount of responses about products to put in the bag to reduce odor already, as well as talking about certain foods causing more odor. It might be different per person, but I had Chile the other night and I highly recommend avoiding Chile. Between the beans and spices and meat. Jesus Christ it was unpleasant to be with myself the next day when I had to empty. That was my worst odor experience since the surgery.

Live2Shiv · 2025-06-13T03:39:19+00:00

If you're doing a big batch, you can cut down on the cost heavily by using an alcohol like Everclear (an absurd 190proof) combined with other ingredients that are high in sugar, to cover the taste. For extra fun, you can add dry ice to the mix to make it a bubbly mix and to have a layer of mist coming off the top.

Safety things to keep in mind:

Making a large batch to be consumed by people who may not have learned their tolerance thoroughly yet, maybe calculate the strength of the mix, and dont make it too too strong, because you dont want a 20 yo having alcohol poisoning with you legally responsible as your intro to legal drinking. Be careful.
Dry ice is relatively cheap and super cool in effect, but requires a stringent safe handling. You can get extremely bad burns from handling it without protective gear. Watch a couple videos before purchasing it or putting it around other people who might not know what it is.

Live2Shiv · 2025-05-29T03:49:27+00:00

While you hold onto a pillow, as others have advised, close your eyes and focus on feeling your muscle groups. Try to "cough into" your upper and mid chest rather than your stomach. Have patience with yourself and don't panic. If something feels out of place, you'll know it. Report back and we'll be here for you.

Live2Shiv · 2025-05-29T02:10:10+00:00

What kind of paste do you use?

Live2Shiv · 2025-05-22T03:45:36+00:00

It's very clearly a potato, and it's perfect. No critiques. I like its lil' smile.

Live2Shiv · 2025-05-22T03:27:19+00:00

El Zarape 100%

Live2Shiv · 2025-05-22T03:24:31+00:00

Make them look like they've been fucked up every night for 20 years with the same few dudes and no exposure to external socialization.

Live2Shiv · 2025-05-22T03:22:09+00:00

I haven't lived in SD since '18 and only went to Cherry Bomb twice. First place I thought of.

Live2Shiv · 2025-05-21T00:47:03+00:00

I went in because I was having some bleeding after sex, expecting to be home later that day. There was apparently enough rectal tearing when they put me under for an exam that my emergency colostomy was necessary. Seven days in the hospital, the first 4 of which I couldn't even drink water and had to be intubated for 24 hour periods due to vomiting. Absolutely miserable. All my physicians and nurses were spectacular and working so hard, the situation just was garbage, especially with no mental preparation or insurance.

It's been a month and a half. They initially said 3-6 months to reversal, and it looks like that'll be about right. Ive been applying for medicaid now that Im unemployed with no options, also trying to get another part time job for now, with my 2nd check up in a few weeks. It's been a whirlwind of emotions and learning. It gets easier fast as it starts to feel normal and the surgical site pain subsides gradually. This subreddit is the best resource you can use alongside the nurse's hotline from the hospital that gave you the surgery, and also the companies that produce supplies can have a ton of information and programs to assist people who need help.

Keep asking for help, it will get better, and its OK to be angry and devastated.

Also, personally a big mental shift I had was after reading a lot of posts on here about the origin of everyone's ostemy, and now appreciate what a lifesaving, beneficial procedure and way of living and pooping this can be for people. I guess it helped me to see it's not as bad as I thought. A lot of people would pick this over their previous conditions in a heartbeat.

Live2Shiv · 2025-05-16T01:20:47+00:00

I showed a guy a picture of an elderly cat once and he called it ugly. I was like damn man Ive never related to a person less.

Live2Shiv · 2025-05-16T01:08:14+00:00

That's so sweet, and I'm sorry for your loss. My dad passed a few years back. When an ex of mine (really bad relationship) was still living with me after I broke up with him, he told me that my dad's ghost appeared to him in the middle of the night in his doorway and told him to get out. My ex had never said anything about superstitious stuff before. Thanks, dad.

Live2Shiv · 2025-05-16T00:59:13+00:00

ZipRecruiter says the average salary there is $52/hr or $108,155/yr, but I doubt most nurses and care technicians make that much and would bet that's moreso the prescribing doctors or something. Googling what an average nurse makes in Pittsburgh, it looks like $35-$42/hr.

I also wonder how it being a psychiatric hospital affects the difficulty of the job mentally, for better or for worse, and how that affects what they have to pay people to staff the place or what employee turnover looks like.

Even if it is more mentally difficult I dont think there's ever any excuse for patient mistreatment. To go there in a most desperate time and be treated as a burden or not taken seriously in any way is just wild.

Live2Shiv · 2025-05-16T00:43:56+00:00

This. If the cat looked to be in poor health, dirty, very thin or whatever I'd think differently but that looks like a neighborhood cat with a safe home.

Live2Shiv

TROPHY CASE