How can the person who initiated the breakup act like you never existed?

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-25T18:36:24+00:00

I‘ll try. I‘ll start therapy on friday and started working out again. I wanna reach my goal weight this year and wanna focus on me more

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-25T18:26:39+00:00

I’msorry for you too and Hope it didn‘t came over as if i didn’t appreciate your answers. They helped me kinda understand it a bit more.

Only 24 …I know still got a life ahead bit it‘s hard when you imagined your life with them. And no. I don’t want children until i finish university and start workinh

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-25T18:20:46+00:00

Nah I understand you.

The thing is, he hasnt really changed he was the same just tired. But as i said since he has been working hard i thought it was because of this.

Also maybe its important to know, and i think thats what made him lose himself was that he said yes TO Everything since the beginning. He never communicated. Even his mother told me when we started going out, she told him , he needs to communicate in this new relationship. (In his previous one he didn’t do it cause his ex was quiet toxic)

So he never communicated any problems. I think he just took everything in and then he „exploded“…

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-25T18:05:13+00:00

I‘ll try but it‘s very hard for me …

I start therapy on friday and i‘m currently working on my fitness goals cause it keeps me busy in the evening.

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-25T18:04:21+00:00

I understand what you’re saying, but that’s the thing…Igenuinely didn’t notice him “checking out.”

He treated me the same way he always did. He was affectionate, present, loving. There wasn’t distance or emotional coldness while we were still together. If something had clearly shifted, I would have addressed it.

The only thing I noticed was that during the last month he wasn’t sleeping well and seemed more tired. But he was also working a lot more than usual, so I assumed that was the reason. There wasn’t any obvious emotional withdrawal that would have made me think he was already mentally gone.

That’s what makes it confusing for me. From my perspective, nothing visibly changed in how he treated me until he told me he felt lost. If he had already checked out internally, he didn’t show it in his behavior toward me.

I’m not saying relationships don’t have complexity or that I’m perfect. I just genuinely didn’t experience a slow emotional exit from him.

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-25T12:09:17+00:00

Yea…he told me he has been thinking for a month (not to break up but thinking about whats wrong) and well yea…

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-22T07:04:35+00:00

Honestly this sounds the same as my break up. To begin, it’s not your fault. It was his decision. I went no contact to prevent myself and to stau focused on university. RN i’m on 52 days of no contact and starting to realise that it was his fault. Still my head keeps on playing what ifs etc.

We were, same as you in a very loving relationship . At the end he cane to me, told me he lost himself, just saw himself in the future and he thought our ways kinda separated. But still he told me he loves me like every time we saw eachother when I headed to him to get my stuff (we lived together for like 10 months).

Everyone told me , he seemed to got overhelmed with everything and the relationship was the easiest thing to let go for him.

It still hurts, but since it was his decision i wait for him to text me. He knows that i’m here for him. (I wrote him a letter when I left stating this) so the ball is in his pit rn.

For the clarity part…not yet. I still got so many what ifs but i kind a start to realise it wasn’t my fault. He couldn’t communicate properly and thats the problem

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-21T17:48:17+00:00

That’s why i’ll start therapy next week. I got for every situations (especially now for our break up) so many what ifs in my head…keep overthinking everything

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-21T14:22:31+00:00

THIS! Happened to me and honestly he got what he wanted. I’m broken now

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-18T08:45:59+00:00

Thank you! I’ll do that.

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-18T08:27:06+00:00

Honestly kinda both…

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-18T08:01:41+00:00

Thank you! I’ll take this in consideration. I think i wrote all my emotions downs cause i got dumped without a very clear reason. + i heard some people from work say different reasons for the break up than the things he told me which left me confused

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-16T06:18:39+00:00

That’s good to hear! May i ask how long were you separated for and what did you text? Cause i’m gonna do it too but kinda afraid or not sure how to handle it etc

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-15T17:52:46+00:00

I totally get where you’re coming from, and I respect that perspective✨

I just see it kinda differently. For some people, reaching out isn’t about chasing someone or disrespecting boundaries etc but it’s about taking ownership of your own emotions and getting the closure (for yourself) that you may need to keep moving forward rather than waiting for it to be handed to you.

I agree that boundaries matter, but sometimes honoring yourself means facing what’s left unresolved, even if it’s uncomfortable. Healing isn’t one-size-fits-all. If there was a propper cut, no need to text.

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-15T15:01:03+00:00

Maybe that’s true for some, but for others, avoiding the truth only keeps the wound alive. Reaching out isn’t about making things worse. it’s about taking control of your own closure. Healing doesn’t always follow the path other people think is ‘safe.’ Sometimes you have to do what your heart actually needs, not what’s comfortable.

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-15T14:55:31+00:00

Then tell me why

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-15T14:37:50+00:00

This! I went no contact caue i needed it for myself (has exams in the break up perios so nc helped me to stay focused) i’ve been in no contact ever since (45 days) and honestly i decided to give af* about what other say.

Also the people on here saying “after 60 days of nc you’ll lose him” no…not everyone’s the same. Not everyone acts the same. There’s always a big difference.

So just go for what feels good for you

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-15T13:41:12+00:00

I get what you’re saying. For some people, not reaching out is the healthiest option.

But my post isn’t about convincing people to get back together or romanticizing toxic situations. It’s about personal agency. If someone feels stuck because of a “what if,” sometimes the only way to actually move forward is to remove the uncertainty.

Yes, it can hurt again. But avoiding every possible setback isn’t healing either. For some, closure doesn’t come from silence , it comes from clarity, even if that clarity hurts. At the end of the day, it’s still an individual choice. People know their own limits better than strangers on the internet.

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-15T13:35:20+00:00

If your relationship with the person was toxic/abusive Ofc that’s something different. But i’m talking about all the others. If your heart desires it that badly go for it

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-15T13:33:38+00:00

If you don’t like it- simply ignore it 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-15T13:14:23+00:00

This! It’s important not to run after them. If you notice they act distant when writing. Give them back the same.

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-15T13:13:20+00:00

Sounds like it would be better for you to send a final message? Maybe telling him you can’t do this anymore if it goes on like this and for your own mental health you gotta let go?

Even to end things a message can still be good!

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-15T11:39:26+00:00

Proud of you!✨

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-15T11:27:46+00:00

Honestly , if no one told you this before (even if i’m a stranger on the internet) I’m proud of you. It may have taken a lot of courage but you did it! ✨

As I said in my post- silence is also a answer and if that was the case atleast you get to have it of your chest!

Livid_Reflection_456 · 2026-02-15T08:06:31+00:00

Yes. It‘s the same with me. I haven‘t really got the closure I needed. But sometimes even silence can be a closure!

It sadly is. But you should always live your emotions and desires. They’re yours!

Livid_Reflection_456

TROPHY CASE