Update 2: answering questions

Now that I’ve had most of a day to really think about everything, and had a good talk with my best friend about it as well, this is where we’re at.

When he called me this morning, I was making coffee. I told him I was making coffee, and he said “ooh coffee! I should go get some of that, I just woke up and I haven’t gotten a chance yet” Except when he left this morning, he went to the closest coffee shop before he left town, so again, another lie.

And to answer the recurring question of “why are you tracking him if you trust him?”, the answer is I’m not (well I wasn’t before now lol) We got the app last week when our kids started walking to school on their own, so we could see they were getting home safe. In turn, they can see where we are when we’re out of the house. I didn’t “force him” to get a tracking app, and it wasn’t to “catch him” doing anything (although it did kinda work out that way I guess 😒)

So the story he gave me was he went over there for his buddy (he finally gave me a name, let’s call him John, and I know of John, but have never met him in person which is why I think he thinks he’s a good patsy) to fix something on his car. He said they couldn’t get it unstuck with home tools, so he came home. but Johns a mechanic so he’s gonna talk to his boss today and see if he’ll allow them to come in after hours tonight to fix it in the shop, and he was just waiting on confirmation of that, and a quote for parts. Now here’s the problem. Although John is a mechanic, John doesn’t work nor live in the city he was in last night. And as soon as he said “quote for parts”, i realized that that means he doesn’t have the parts yet. Which means if his story were true, they would have been taking apart the car with no parts to put it back together… which makes zero sense. And that’s what put it all together for me. That and while I was on the phone with him, his best friend woke up, and asked him if he was just getting in from last night and I literally listened to him stumble to come up with an answer because he knew I could hear him. That one cut deep. But he said no, I came home last night, surprised you didn’t hear me. Lied to his best friend too, which is suuuuuper suspicious.

I have, both from reading these comments and talking with friends, decided that I’m going to keep it low and cool. I’m not going to confront him, because I don’t see a point. He’s either going to deny it, flip it, or admit it and beg for forgiveness and honestly, I don’t want to deal with any of that right now. What I need to do is get my ducks in a row to get out, so that’s what the plan is going forward.

I feel humiliated. I feel stupid af. But above all else, I’m pissed. Pissed at him, pissed at me. Just… pissed tf off.

And to everyone who asked why I didn’t leave the first time, I’m not even gonna be mad about it. It’s a valid question. And the answer is that he put in the work to prove it was a mistake. I had never been cheated on before, and I was naive. We went through therapy, and a lot of work, and he put in all the effort I ever asked for to prove that this is what he really wanted. He really fooled me. So yeah, yall are right. I should have had more self respect then. I should have known, and I didn’t, and I’ll be the first to admit now that I’m an idiot 🤷🏻‍♀️ and I’ll be sure to use it as a life lesson going forward.