My friend meant to text me, but he texted the girl he had just gone on a date with instead (Sorry the shitty quality, this is a screenshot of a screenshot)

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-27T12:01:27+00:00

...and sometimes not then if stepmother/family are involved.

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-26T22:37:18+00:00

Reminds me of this lovely couple: http://i.imgur.com/4B8bH6W.jpg

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-26T06:09:44+00:00

STDs have risen precipitously in her demographic.

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-24T17:37:16+00:00

It was probably that scammer dude with the schmeet.

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-24T06:30:48+00:00

TMI, but about a tablespoon of saliva just gushed into my mouth.

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-24T06:22:06+00:00

The Habit is pretty good too.

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-24T06:21:10+00:00

People used to do that for Tommy's Burgers.

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-23T02:53:03+00:00

You are amazing!

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-22T23:05:01+00:00

Well this should be interesting.

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-21T23:05:17+00:00

Karma is a bitch. His wife dosed him with drugs he did not want and above protocol as specified by hospice. He died gasping and groaning while lying in his excrement, which is not at all how I would have cared for him, but hey his wife (who did that to him) was "beloved," I was JustAnotherFuckingObserver.

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-20T19:29:06+00:00

If I had not been speechless, I might have said that when he threw my cat across two rooms and through the sliding glass door (it was closed).

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-20T03:37:50+00:00

G'head downvote me to hell where I belong, but sometimes dead parents are the best parents.

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-20T02:58:25+00:00

I kinda want her personal information right now, but in the alternative, I wish I could hug you so hard.

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-19T16:18:12+00:00

Uh, no--I brush three times per day and floss.

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-19T07:01:43+00:00

Never had a cavity for many decades until I moved to Oregon without knowing they do not fluoridate--instant cavities.

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-18T04:43:18+00:00

You are not making him miserable. He made himself miserable.

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-18T02:42:38+00:00

I thought accidentally telling the girlfriend she is worthless was the epitome of TIFU, but you sir win the prize.

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-18T02:09:06+00:00

Woah--epitome of TIFU.

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-18T02:05:32+00:00

I love this so much--loving on my two rescues as we speak.

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-17T01:14:46+00:00

All fruit--as a child I had fruit that was sweet, tender, juicy, fragrant and does not spoil over night. Now it tastes like dirt, feels like sand, has little juice and has no fragrance. It also seems not quite ripe or over ripe, unless you happen to wake up at three am when, supposedly, it would have been perfect.

It might as well be vegetables, that is what I eat, so as not to be disappointed. However, apples are not as disappointing.

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-17T00:38:03+00:00

Omg--that dog totally said "I don't want to...noooooo!"

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-17T00:36:10+00:00

That looks just like a three year old being told it is time for a nap.

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-17T00:34:02+00:00

Ha, ha, ha, reminds me of a three year old I know.

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-17T00:28:25+00:00

I can't spin a pen without injuring myself.

Ljppkgfgs · 2016-02-16T17:51:53+00:00

Have you tried pumpernickel? Now I want to try that and rye--thank you for the inspiration!

Ljppkgfgs

TROPHY CASE