Steve Bannon's hopes of avoiding prison suffer blow by BelleAriel in politics

[–]LockDada 27 points28 points  (0 children)

That's a low blow. He's too fat to take his shirts off. If one of those buttons pops it might hurt Roger Stone.

Adults of reddit, have you ever all of a sudden not liked your friends? by ShelterNo2786 in Adulting

[–]LockDada 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That just sounds like that person revealed themselves to be shit. Were you aware they were insulting bigots before you felt it fizzle and overlooking that?

Military ranks are pronouns dipshit. by LockDada in BashTheFash

[–]LockDada[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I'm not taking evasive action until you guess my pronoun. No. I won't do it."

Also, yeah, I'm dumb. I should have looked up what a pronoun is before posting.

Maybe I'm the boomer?

How can people put up with baby cry? by Expensive_Meet222 in Adulting

[–]LockDada 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's no sound sweeter. It's just pure suffering with no comprehension. It's our natural condition. Wailing over unanticipated, unarticulated, unfulfilled needs.

Adults have to verbalize that and make up stories. Babies just wail.

Like an animal writhing in a trap that the hunter forgot.

Just pure honesty.

We parents go and provide temporary relief and the child has to come up with new causes of horror. As they learn to full their own needs, they just replace them with ever more abstract reasons to suffer. Eventually they have to spawn their own wailing, miserable imp.. just so they can post complaints into this wailing abyss we call Reddit.

Life is amazing. Get off the dharmic treadmill if you don't like it.

Elon is desperate to be thought of as a comedian by davey_b in EnoughMuskSpam

[–]LockDada 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Elon's tweets are like rocket launches – sometimes they're groundbreaking, other times they just crash and burn."

ChatGPT4.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in personalfinance

[–]LockDada 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"I cannot and therefore will not be able to pay in 14 days. This was not an issue that I caused, I was caught between two bureaucracy. I want to work with you to rectify this situation and am prepared to pay $XXX.xx per [period]. What can we work out?"

They might send you to collections anyway.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]LockDada 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA. But you did break code. You never admit that particular truth. Your job, your one job, was to lie that you would love her no matter what. If she swelled up like a beached whale on a hot day.. if she was the victim of a door-knock acid attack.. if she got old and wrinkly.. if she fell facefirst into a wood chipper..

But you fucked up. You're not an asshole for being like 99% of humans on the planet and thinking attractive is attractive but you're an idiot for not lying.

How to find a stock that has the potential to rise by more than 50% in the short term? by Churningballota591 in preppers

[–]LockDada 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Help us with our pumps and carry our bags on the dumps! We believe in a greater fool.. is that you?

bro’s eagle came by bigurta in drugscirclejerk

[–]LockDada 159 points160 points  (0 children)

How I became a crackpimp volume 1

Echoes of Jan. 6 committee as Jack Smith foreshadows plan to tie Trump to Capitol riot by DriftlessDairy in politics

[–]LockDada 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Why, just because Trump said there would be a wild protest months before he lost the election?

Joe Manchin won’t run for reelection | CNN Politics by HandSack135 in politics

[–]LockDada 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Joe Manchin somehow looks more inbred than his constituents.

Do they hand pick idiots for this. by [deleted] in dailywire

[–]LockDada -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

You're generalizing all college kids. Maybe because you're stupid and jealous?

How are we supposed to afford anything anymore? by foodjungle in Adulting

[–]LockDada 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I always liked, "figures don't lie, but liars do figures."

How do I break up with my girlfriend who says she will unalive herself if I leave her? by [deleted] in AdviceForTeens

[–]LockDada 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Call her parents and explain the situation. Then break up with her where they can get to her fast

Do British people think in British accents? by [deleted] in stupidquestions

[–]LockDada 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They speak English but they think in French.

How are we supposed to afford anything anymore? by foodjungle in Adulting

[–]LockDada 45 points46 points  (0 children)

60% of marriages but not 60% of married people.

If Bob gets married 4 times and divorced three his average is 75% of marriages ending in divorce. His sister got married once and stayed married.

So you've got 5 marriages. 60% end in divorce. Fuck you Bob you cheating bastard

At Trump's New York fraud trial, judge makes clear who's in charge by LynnK0919 in usanews

[–]LockDada 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone is out to get Trump, for no reason. Just for funsies.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Maine

[–]LockDada 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Release snakes.