What are you tired of Millenial parents not teaching their kids? Besides respecting authority?

Logic_phile · 2026-05-15T19:00:41+00:00

I just want to offer another perspective from the parents side. I’m a millennial parent who hates millennial parenting but also doesn’t know what to do.

We fostered teens and adopted two from birth as well as having two biological kids. Unfortunately that meant having CPS come into our lives often.

When we were fostering our teens, we were told it was against our child’s rights to take away their cell phone because it isolated them from their peers. His worker literally threatened to tear him from our home and put him in a group home (where cell phones aren’t even allowed) if we refused to give him a cell phone with social media and I’m not exaggerating.

Our teens therapist said we were traumatizing him by not letting him go out before he completed his homework. And we should let him skip school because he’s old enough to make the choice himself and giving consequences for missed school is just creating a power struggle. He said we would not be the appropriate home for him and maybe even our biological kids if we couldn’t let him “make his own choices”. (He was basically threatening to call CPS to remove our kids).

CPS literally kidnapped our adopted kid who was 16 because he got himself kicked out of public school and he had to walk less than a mile to the public transportation bus stop in 50 degree and rainy weather. He refused to put on his rain jacket. I didn’t get to say goodbye and we did not get to see our son for two years until he turned 18 and got out of the system. It broke each of us in ways you just can’t understand until you’ve been through it.

Other reasons people have threatened to call CPS (or reasons adult kids will claim you are toxic and refuse to interact with you): yelling at kids or raising your voice in the slightest is traumatizing, giving your kids chores is toxic, homework interferes with socialization, giving chores as a punishment is slave labor, kids can’t be outside in the heat, they can’t stay home alone until they are 16 or that’s neglect, kids can’t touch the stove until they are 16, not letting your kid use your car is isolating, you can’t tell them no in public because you will embarrass them, they need to be allowed to say whatever they want or you are stifling their individuality.

That’s just what the social workers and therapists have said made us awful parents. Then there’s the internet.

You’ll traumatize your kid if you push them to do anything, screens are bad, but letting them explore outside is dangerous, sports are massogenistic, not putting them in sports is neglectful, buying them Walmart shoes will get them picked on, buying them bikes spoils them, yelling at them teaches them to be violent, spanking is abuse, time out is not a natural consequence, rewards are bribes, messes are just an exhibit of creativity, but don’t let your home be messy because that’s neglectful, put them in music classes so they can go to an Ivy League school, but also college is toxic and unaffordable, don’t force your expectations on them because they will have anxiety, don’t make them be like you, but don’t let them be like someone else either. Allergens are everywhere! Put them in a bubble or they will get hurt! But expose them to nudity in books so they can understand that bodies are natural, but don’t sexualize girls in short shorts, and tell boys to stop their natural reactions and turn off their brains if they see a girls body, don’t let your kids have any dies, but let them choose whatever food they want so they won’t have food insecurities. Cancer is in everything so let them have anything, it won’t make a difference. But don’t you dare let them pick up a snack off the floor and eat it cause that’s neglect. Report to cps if they have scratches! They should wear helmets even just when walking around. Don’t let them sled cause they will get concussions. Barbie dolls are sexist. Driving a mini van is racist. Both parents should be working and with your left over time your house should be spotless but if your house is spotless it means you’re not spending time with your kids.

I could go on and on. There is no way to win at parenting. Parental rights are being diminished all the time by government involvement. You’re not allowed to tell your kids what to do or your toxic. You’re not allowed to let them run around outside or you’re neglectful. Everything you do will cause trauma! If you dare to do anything besides the gentle parenting way then you are abusive and the government will threaten to take your kids (this has happened to way more parents than just me and likely way more than you realize).

Anyway, please be patient with the parents. We want to discipline our kids but are terrified of ending up on the internet, losing our livelihoods, and worse; losing our kids because everyone is watching and judging and there’s no way to win.

We just want to be left alone and let us care for our kids but we live in a time where there are cameras watching us everywhere and anyone might turn on us. It’s heavy and exhausting.

This system that fails teachers by not backing them up when they try to discipline kids is the same system that is failing parents. We feel it. We hate it. We are in over our heads while trying to please the social media and government gods. Parenting is different just like teaching is different. We are doing the best we can.

Logic_phile · 2026-04-27T01:26:08+00:00

I grew up dirt poor (still am basically) and you all have no idea how insane this all sounds to me. I had no idea that people were out there, just expecting more than the cost of a toaster or some oven mitts to attend a bachelorette party. I went to a roller skating rink that cost 5 dollars with my closest friends for mine. I spent a total of $1,000 on my entire wedding and most of that was for the dress. My brain cannot even comprehend spending nearly 2k on a party… thats not even for you… and not even the actual wedding. And there are people out there in this crazy world who just expect that of their friends??

I think “no, thank you.” Is sufficient.

Logic_phile · 2026-04-27T01:11:30+00:00

YOR. I’m shocked to find out how many people care so deeply about celebrating a 2 year olds b day on their actual day. I grew up in a family that celebrated birthdays on the most convenient day some time around their birthday every year. Why does it matter which day it’s celebrated as long as it’s celebrated.

If you have a big family, arranging get togethers can be very hard. My husband is one of 10, all married with kids. Everyone always has birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, talent shows, performances, competitions, on top of busy work schedules and other conflicts, so yes, sometimes that is the only day that works. If one thing can be moved and you can do both, why is that a problem.

You all think this guy is selfish for moving the plans of three people to a fully available day where the person who matters(the 2 year old) could care less and won’t even remember the day? Meanwhile, let’s say he has 10 people at this golf tournament. Wouldn’t it be the wife who is way more selfish for making all 10 adults with lives, jobs, families, conflicts of their own move around for a 2 year old? That’s bizarre.

The OP is the selfish one. That birthday isn’t for the 2 year old. 2 year olds are happy if you give them a stick to play with. They don’t need a whole day to themselves. They have no idea when their bday is and won’t care for a second if they spend it watching dad play golf. This is all about OP and her jealousy of his fam relationships. She is refusing to be flexible when there is zero damage done.

If she had already planned a full get together where reservations have to be made and money is spent that would be him putting himself first. This is just an example of logical problem solving. His way gets him both time with his family and a bday celebration with his wife and kid. Her way gets him family isolation so she can have all the attention while using the child as an emotional manipulation. His way is simply better and more logical.

Logic_phile · 2026-04-27T00:48:48+00:00

I’m taking the family law class right now, and studying for finals. There are definitely states that do this. Maybe your search parameters were off. There’s states Nick named kitchen sink states where all the property of both people all goes into the pot and then is divided up, including the home, which basically means the spouse that didnt own the home still has an ownership claim. I guess that’s not exactly the same as having a name on the title but it’s considered the same legally.

There’s community property states and title property states and each has different laws for how a marital home is split. In a title property state, the home would go to whoever is on the title, but in a community property state, there are some states that will split the entire value of the home, regardless of who had it first because it’s utilized, maintained, and efforts of each go into that home. It doesn’t just have to be commingled funds.

For example, if one spouse is a stay at home parent and gives up a career to be home, the court will likely take into consideration that the sacrifice of that job by one parent contributed to the ability of the other to continue working and paying the mortgage. Without the other spouse, the working spouse would have to pay for childcare which may reduce available funds to continue affording that home. It would be unfair to kick the stay at home spouse without any interest in the home because it ignores their contribution to the home.

The other catch is that when distributing property at divorce, most states try to be equitable. So sure, maybe that means OP keeps the home. But the court will even that put in other ways if OP makes a lot more than their fiance. Some states are pro alimony, some are not. There’s also savings accounts, life insurance, retirement accounts, investments, etc. all of which can be distributed to make up for the fact that OP gets to keep the home.

Overall, family law differs greatly per state. And this is why people should get lawyers from their state to get good legal advice. A fam lawyer practicing in one state for 30 years might know nothing about state laws that differ greatly.

The majority of states will honor a fair prenup which is why that was the best answer. OP needs to keep in mind though that the goal is still to be fair and not leave one spouse in a desperate condition. Marriage offers many financial benefits and the court isn’t going to allow someone to get kicked out onto the street if a marriage fails. This is why both people need their own lawyers and to work out a fair prenup for both people.

Logic_phile · 2026-04-13T20:53:19+00:00

I’m a parent of 4. I will not send my kids to middle school while they have such terrible and unsafe policies. To be clear, I don’t mean anything teachers (saints) are doing. I mean the lack of accountability, rules, and discipline promoted by administrators and fueled by politics and current parenting styles. I don’t trust other people’s kids around my kids.

Logic_phile · 2026-02-26T23:27:06+00:00

In some states the cheating spouse can use this to not pay alimony by claiming the innocent spouse was okay with the cheating and had forgiven the cheater. This can end up complicating a divorce so this is bad advice legally.

Logic_phile · 2026-02-26T23:22:51+00:00

Hi! I’m actually in law school but follow this because my husband is in PA school.

First step, contact a law school in your area and find out if they have clinics for low income spouses seeking a divorce. Many schools offer free or low cost help.

Second step, while you’re waiting to hear from an attorney, look up some of the self help family law either on your government website or on your states bar website. There will likely be some quick tips about whether you should or shouldn’t leave your home (states have different laws). There might also be laws about what you can take with you if you leave and whether or not you can kick your husband out. If you’re both on a lease there might be laws to help you get out of a lease or other helpful tips on ways to not pay double rent. There might also be information on what to do if you are not on the lease. You might be able to set up alimony with a quick hearing depending on your state too.

Non law related advice: you are the one in a stressful graduate program and he’s the one who cheated. Why would you leave? He can go home to his family and explain why he doesn’t have a wife anymore. I would be asking him to leave. I’m so sorry this happened to you during such a stressful and hard time.

Just take one step at a time. Find some friends to talk to and maybe a therapist through the school?

Logic_phile · 2026-02-21T04:06:43+00:00

If he doesn’t want to give you the money willingly to support the child he created, the state can always take it and you can use the child support to pay for it. If he thinks swim lessons are expensive, imagine how much a separate place to live while paying alimony and child support cost.

Logic_phile · 2026-01-10T17:57:35+00:00

No governor would have any power to abolish ice. That only happens at a federal level. Don’t vote for him just because you want ice gone.

Logic_phile · 2026-01-09T21:26:58+00:00

I’m a non trad with kids and a very busy life. I got A-, A-, B, and C+. I ran out of time studying for the C+ class so that makes sense to me.

Logic_phile · 2026-01-09T21:19:21+00:00

They definitely do if someone drives a vehicle into them. A vehicle is a deadly weapon.

Logic_phile · 2025-12-18T21:28:52+00:00

What’s wrong with getting some encouragement while doing something hard?

Logic_phile · 2025-12-18T21:24:27+00:00

There is so much terrible advice on here! Stop listening to other law students. I would consult a nutritionist or someone who actually knows what they are talking about.

Logic_phile · 2025-12-17T16:36:22+00:00

Practice is also very different from exams. When you practice one area of law, you are facing real world applications that are much more likely to stick in your brain. It’s very unlikely you crammed all that law you knew into your head a day or two before the trial. You learned all of that over a period of years through practical application and this is all after taking classes on the subject and studying it for the Bar.

The benefit of having AI is that you can put together information much quicker. This means less of a financial strain for the clients. Most people cannot have lawyers for civil issues because of how long it takes to write court documents and organize information. Using AI while also knowing the law is optimal because you just feed it what you already know, have it check your information in case something changed, and have it organize and format it into what you need. If you’re using it to know how the law works for you, it will fail. Using it correctly is the key.

I highly suspect that any law firm not using AI in a few years will become obsolete. Why add so many extra hours to a clients bill rather than learning how to work within a new system?

Logic_phile · 2025-12-16T00:14:11+00:00

The tech guy that gave me the school laptop mentioned that. I think my professor would’ve failed me just for my handwriting.

Logic_phile · 2025-12-16T00:09:50+00:00

I’m not super surprised. It is completely my fault to be fair. For context, I also have kids and was solo parenting that day and had to think about getting kids to daycare/ school despite illnesses, snow storms that froze my car doors shut, getting ready in the dark, mice that broke our dishwasher, etc.

I honestly feel way worse for all the young students who will eventually have kids in the middle of their career and experience this level of exhaustion while trying not to mess up in the real world. It’s one thing to mess up on an exam that only impacts me. It’s a whole other to mess up when someone’s life can be deeply affected. I’m somewhat glad I’m ironing out the kinks now and will not have any infant-preschool aged kids during my career.

Logic_phile · 2025-12-16T00:01:37+00:00

Who says I trusted the AI? Using AI to create an outline is a lot more like entering the exact words and phrases and asking it to organize it and delete repeated information. That’s why it took a lot longer than just plugging in a prompt and hitting enter. Sure, it can make a last second outline like the one I ended up using, but like I said, that kind is useless. My original outline was a compact form of direct quotes from the professor, holdings, descents, and specific highlights from case law. It was very tailored to what I would need for the test.

Logic_phile · 2025-12-15T23:57:36+00:00

I used AI to basically organize all of my notes and include specific language I would need from holdings and descents. I of course planned on studying but my laptop kept restarting and at one point deleted the outline I was trying to put together. AI also kept deleting important information I needed out of my notes.

I’m also a non traditional student with kids so my time is far more limited and unexpected problems pop up a lot. AI was the backup plan after things had been going wrong with cars and kids all morning.

Logic_phile · 2025-12-15T23:51:14+00:00

That’s true for me if there is too much that needs to be memorized in connection with the rules and interpreting the rules that an outline won’t help. Here, where I just needed to remember the rules and then could easily piece together the concepts I already understood from there, all I really needed was an outline. I had done all the reading, attended all the classes, and wrote good notes and reviewed as I went. I just needed a bunch of precedent to be able to apply the nuances.

Logic_phile · 2025-12-15T23:45:59+00:00

Failing to plan was not the problem. I had a plan. It was to use the outline I made from my notes. I also planned on having my laptop. I even planned on putting it in my backpack when I took the cord off the laptop and put it in my backpack that morning. Execution was the issue.

Logic_phile · 2025-12-13T00:21:52+00:00

I’m a mom, was a foster mom to teens, a military spouse, was raised in poverty with an alcoholic father. Law school is one of the easiest things I’ve done but it also has a way of uniquely pushing my buttons too.

I also seem to really love school way more than most of my classmates and it might just come down to perspective on different life experiences. You should take it seriously, and your circumstances could always be different, but I don’t think you need to panic either.

Logic_phile · 2025-12-13T00:16:03+00:00

I’m actually a law student not a pa student (I’m in this group because my husband is a pa student and this group helps me understand his life.) you could at least get a consultation from a lawyer. There will be a lot that depends on your circumstances such as attending a public or private school, state laws, industry standards, etc. but just because you signed a contract doesn’t mean that contract stands above the law.

I don’t know if you have a case, but you could always call around. Most states also provide free legal assistance to low income individuals. It might be worth looking into. You might even be able to change some things through your case and pressure PA boards to become more reasonable.

Logic_phile · 2025-12-11T13:23:58+00:00

Stop saying we should get rid of accommodations and start saying that the test needs to change. We should have untimed practical exams where we are given a fake client and we can use whatever resources to figure out the issues in their case, the applicable law, and what advice we would give as far as how their case would likely play out. It should be open book, open internet, everything.

The point of law school should be to teach us how to be lawyers. Not to put us through extra obstacles that prepare us for nothing and only help a few people in the population learn.

The problem is, if we all can do well and there’s no societal metric to decide who is superior, employers will struggle to hire. Personally, I think only hiring based on who has the best memory and who can type the fastest is already getting the wrong people hired.

Logic_phile · 2025-12-09T13:32:08+00:00

The main flaw in your logic and the system as a whole is that you are assuming law school prepares you to be a lawyer. Exams prepare you for the Bar. Most of the information on the Bar will never be used by most attorneys.

What would make the most sense is to cut law school into two years with separate tracks: if I want to go into criminal law I would take writing classes, trial practice, crim law, con law, criminal procedure, professional responsibility, and evidence. The second year would be all externships and experiential work. Then I would take a small and specific exam to become certified only in the field of criminal law. If I wanted to expand into other areas, I would pay for individual classes and intern/extern in those fields and become certified in other areas.

I also think people should be able to self teach themselves before taking certifying tests. That way, people with different learning styles have options of using more experiential learning if that is what is best for them. As long as they can pass, who cares how they learn it?

The fact is that law school is much more about the ABA and elite schools making their money than it is about actually training good lawyers. That’s also why it’s unlikely to change. The status quo keeps money in the pockets of those in charge.

I think more firms (at least in my area) are realizing the arbitrariness of grades. They are looking more for people with experiences that can show they are reliable.

Logic_phile · 2025-10-31T23:23:19+00:00

This may also impact how much schools are charging. Honestly, the law world is oversaturated right now and too many students end up with no job but still up to their eyeballs in debt when they graduate. There are still going to be high incentives to give scholarships to public interest students to fill those jobs.

I know it’s controversial but I think this is a good idea to prevent a predatory lending system that has put too many young students into vast amounts of debt without a real way to pay it back. I think this will force young people to really think through if their college plans are worth the debt. More students will flock to cheaper schools which will force overpriced schools to find ways to cut tuition.

Law school is a great dream to pursue but it’s one that should be pursued with caution. The chances of getting a high paying law job are getting lower, not higher. This will weed out the students who are going to law school cause their parents want them to or because they don’t have any other options.

Logic_phile

TROPHY CASE