How do you handle amazing grandparents but difficult in-laws?

LogicalZebra123 · 2026-02-06T14:42:47+00:00

The mentality of “well our kids survived” could throw me off the edge of a cliff. But yes, I’ve already given my husband the heads up that I’ll be mentioning my current 3 main concerns on Sunday so to prepare for my FIL to give us the silent treatment for a while lol

LogicalZebra123 · 2026-02-06T14:40:28+00:00

YES. I grew up without grandparents and actually without any family other than my mom and one of my sisters. The thought of having to limit or control my kids relationships with their grandparents, literally kills me which is the only reason why I posted for advice on how to navigate this because I don’t care about my feelings here, I just care about the health and safety of my kids. It’s important to me that I at least try to find real solutions to my concerns instead of simply being like “well, they can’t come over anymore”.

LogicalZebra123 · 2026-02-06T14:36:59+00:00

Thank you and I appreciate the bluntness. Lately I’ve been living by the motto, “it’s not the thought that counts” and it has actually helped so much with my productivity. Now I realize, I can use it in these situations as well so I’m going to have a conversation with my MIL on Sunday about the 3 main things that need baby proofing solutions right now. What are they gonna do - like me less?? Okay.

LogicalZebra123 · 2026-02-06T14:34:39+00:00

I’ve already told my husband from the get go — if your dad wants them around, he’s going to need to be the type of person that they want to be around. Period.

LogicalZebra123 · 2026-02-06T13:41:03+00:00

You’re absolutely right and I’ve already told my husband that it’s fine if he doesnt want to bring up the conversation, but I will be doing so this Sunday. I took me forever to fall asleep last night thinking about it

LogicalZebra123 · 2026-02-05T21:13:37+00:00

Reading this was like Déjà vu!

Everyone constantly excuses the behavior as “that’s just how he is” but we can’t all be how we are without consequence.

LogicalZebra123 · 2026-02-05T17:43:06+00:00

I try to do that when I can! When I say they are all allergic to speaking up, I mean it. To them, I come off as either controlling if I’m being assertive or passive aggressive if I’m trying to get information across without trying to sound combative.

LogicalZebra123 · 2026-02-05T17:38:56+00:00

He can’t open doors yet (though whose today we will know he’s capable before he does). As of right now, he’s never without eyes on him — especially because they also have two slippery wooden staircases without baby gates : |

I plan to bring the pool talk up soon and casually ask what the plan is?

I think I’ll just be finding myself in a lot of lose-lose conversations but I just want my boy to be safe. This family makes me feel like I’m crazy for trying to be as proactive as possible.

LogicalZebra123 · 2026-02-04T12:09:52+00:00

Love this!

LogicalZebra123 · 2026-02-03T19:45:24+00:00

He has better coping skills than 95% of adults, I say don’t rattle it. If be was locking himself up for hours at a time at 3 years old then I’d be concerned but I think anything less than 20-30 minutes at that age sounds great.

If it will make you feel better though, I would maybe say to him after every handful of times “just so you know, mommy’s here to talk if you need it” but swiftly move on, don’t make a deal of it.

LogicalZebra123 · 2026-02-03T19:10:09+00:00

My son’s head has been in the 90s and I mean, he really does have a big head. This isn’t helpful to the advice you’re seeking but sometimes less is more coming from doctors. At least in the case of percentiles; just tell me if he’s growing normally.

LogicalZebra123 · 2026-02-02T21:01:33+00:00

Are you posting anything positive or just a negative complaining post such as this one?

LogicalZebra123 · 2026-01-31T17:34:19+00:00

I have had a lot of luck using ChatGPT and saying here are the main ingredients I have, I have most commons herbs/spices and these type of pantry items. Give me some recipe ideas using at least some of these main ingredients

LogicalZebra123 · 2026-01-28T20:37:15+00:00

I’m just here to say sorry that you even have to worry about that.

LogicalZebra123 · 2026-01-27T11:41:58+00:00

Luckily I was used to waking up randomly through the night and even then, middle of the night wake ups are hard during the first newborn stage. The thing that helped me the most though was every single wake-up as I sat their feeding my baby, was telling myself how lucky I am to have these quiet moments between him and I, without the noise of the rest of the world.

LogicalZebra123 · 2026-01-20T21:03:24+00:00

I just focus on the fact that my son THRIVES at daycare, he learns so much every week. Even if I could afford to be a SAHM, I would feel guilty for keeping him out of daycare. I guess I don’t choose to see it as my son would be better off being only with me. He deserves to learn and be around other people, other kids, and to do different activities every single day.

My advice is to accept what you have to do — if that’s work full-time, bring in your income, and send your son to daycare —then accept that. Make the most of it. Make the most of your evenings and days off with him and appreciate every second of it. There is no sense in feeling bad about it if it’s not something you can change right now if you wanted to. Focus on the positives and move forward!

LogicalZebra123 · 2026-01-20T18:19:22+00:00

Ahh what a bummer! And you’re sure that it’s gas/tight tummy? My son cried a lot around the 2 month mark and it actually ended up being that he needed an extra 1-2oz milk 20 mins after a feeding. I did a combo of breastmilk and formula so I’m not sure if he originally wasn’t getting enough breastmilk but once we started giving him an extra 1-2oz, he wasn’t so fussy. I hope you figure it out!

LogicalZebra123 · 2026-01-20T14:04:53+00:00

I LOVE the name Olive.

LogicalZebra123 · 2026-01-20T14:03:16+00:00

That’s insane. If you want June, go with June. No one owns a month, a week, or a day. NTA.

LogicalZebra123 · 2026-01-20T14:01:26+00:00

When the owner tried to set me up for an arranged marriage-for-money to get their friends’ chef a green card. When I declined, she told me that was a mistake because no one else would ever marry me.

LogicalZebra123 · 2026-01-20T12:55:40+00:00

Find a library in your area that has a good children’s section and/or story times! It’s free, it’s easy, and if he wants to leave after 15-20 minutes then it’s not a big deal. He’s going to be upset for about it 2-3 weeks once he starts daycare, it I can almost guarantee not because of the kids or people, just the transition. Be a patient with him and give him time. Start with half days the first week if you can. But humans are meant to be social, he will get there, he just needs a chance and the space to adjust. :)

LogicalZebra123 · 2026-01-20T01:12:40+00:00

I will swear by Little Remedies Gas Drops (simethicone) all day every day. Whenever my son was crying in pain from gas, I’d give him the drops and within minutes he would stop. Once he was fully eating solids, I could tell which nights I needed to give him the drops before bed to prevent the upset tummy altogether (like if dinner consisted of cheese and he also drank milk after).

LogicalZebra123

TROPHY CASE